What if God were a Democrat?

Question

I have posted this question on my webblog, haroldsays.net, and I am curious how all you good folks at Yahoo Answers might answer this question?

Answer 1

what is God??

Answer 2

Democrat fits the profile of God more easily, but truly I see God more as a Socialist.

Answer 3

God is not a Democrat or a Republican

He is the one true ruler who does not need votes to get or stay elected.

Answer 4

What if God doesn’t really give a crap what games we choose play here before we go back home?

Answer 5

according to the democrats, you are not to ask this question,they believe in separation of church and religion from the state

Answer 6

Hillary is already a democrat

Answer 7

What makes you think he's not? Probably that God is a bit above anything so petty as Political Partanism. but since you asked I'll give you a taste.

10 Commandments of a Democrat God

1. "I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of slavery. Thou shalt have no other gods before Me if you follow my teachings. If you worship another God that's all good and really your business, who am I to judge."

2. "Do not make a sculpted image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above. Or in Political office. A little celebrity worship is probably allright as long as the support the right causes. Definately no worshipping Elephants. But once again.. it's all you"

3. "Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of the LORD. Nor should you imply that he drives a Volvo or drinks expensive coffees and wears those expensive sandles that look like high-tech crap. Thou Shalt not call him Wishy-washy just because he represents the will of the people or call into questions his somewhat colorful past when you should be debating your stance on the issues. But if you feel strongly enough to say bad things about the Democrat God I respect your candor."

4. "Remember [zachor] the Sabbath day and keep it holy. And by Holy I mean revere it in a way that you shows your thanks for what I have given you, if it's mountain biking or attending a protest rally or just spending the afternoon with your life partner. Or don't, I don't want to be the pushy God here.."

5. "Thou shalt honor your father and your mother...unless of course they are political conservatives. in which case you should at least be polite to them. I mean seriously you don't really have to spend time with them but twice or three times a year. you know, considder it more of a suggestion than a commandment.."

6. "Thou shalt not murder condemned prisoners or people in countries that aren't attacking you. I can't tell you if an unborn child can be murderred, things weren't all that complex back when I wrote the bible. Do your best to figure it out on your own. Do your best not to kill anyone at all."

7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery and then try to lie about it to America. They're smarter than they look. Well, who am I to judge?"

8. "Thou shalt not steal. In fact thou shalt give to those less fortunate than thee. This is a real commandment. I'm going to take the money you worked for and give it to others who need it more than you do. I know it doens't motivate you to work harder but really I'm suspicious of how you got so much money in the first place."

9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor... Except during election years and then no more than your neibor bears false witness to you.."

10. "Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's house.. In fact no covetting your own house. If you have room to spare there shouldn't be homeless people freezing on the streets. This really goes for all of your posessions. If you didn't learn to share in daycare life is going to be Hellish for you."


And to be perfectly fair...

10 Commandments of a Republican God

1. "I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of slavery. Thou shalt have no other gods before Me. With the possible exception of your President, I mean who better exemplifies the beliefs of a Republican god than a simple talking man in a sharp suit and a cowboy hat. You know if you want to worship dead Republican Presidents that's ok too."

2. "Do not make a sculpted image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above. Unless the American Flag is flying up there, in which case you should bow down and prove your loyalty or it's Smitey Time!"

3. "Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of the LORD. Because if we criticize the Republican God then the Terrorist win. Here's the math [Dumb republican=Terrorist Victory] can't argue with math."

4. "Remember [zachor] the Sabbath day and keep it holy. But don't feel like you can't squeeze in a shift of Overtime or two. It's your duty to the Republican God to keep the economy stimulated. He proves this to you by lowerring your wages to motivate you to work harder."

5. "Thou shalt honor your father and your mother. If someone wronged your Father you should get revenge no matter the cost of human life. Scandal isn't really a dishonor if they were a degenerate when they were your age, more like a tribute."

6. "Thou shalt not murder people until after they are born. And if someone does, Murder them!"

7.

8.

9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor unless it makes people stop paying attention to your faults or intentional wrongdoings. Then you better bear all the false witness you can get away with. Hell make a chart so people can know how much false witness you're bearing against them. Also they can't make you bear false witness in court if you're never sworn in."

10. "Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's house. Thou shalt make your honkin house so damned big that nobody in their right mind would covet that little shack your neibor lives in.."

Answer 8

I hear she is agnostic, but not all that sure about it.

Answer 9

He's not! He's a theocrat... =)