tell me your best joke and i will give you 10 points?

Answer 1

http://www.ahajokes.com/funny_jokes.html


go here you find funny pics laws that are real and jokes that are funny as hell. enjoy

Answer 2

Blond medical terminology

Artery -- Study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section -- District in Rome
Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- Sheep dog
Coma -- A punctuation mark
Congenital -- Friendly
D&C -- Where Washington is
Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events
Dilate -- To live long
Enema -- Not a friend
Fester -- Quicker
Fibula -- A small lie
G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- Suitcase
Hangnail -- Coathook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee
Labor pain -- Got hurt at work
Medical staff -- Doctor's cane
Morbid -- Higher offer
Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
Node -- Was aware of
Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- Letter carrier
Protein -- Favoring young people
Rectum -- It almost killed him
Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- Amorous
Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- Hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- Study of knighthood
Tablet -- Small table
Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
Tibia -- Country in North Africa
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein -- Conceited

Answer 3

Limo Driver

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver noticed that the Pope was still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Eminence," said the driver, "would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," said the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protested the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," said the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver got in the back as the Pope climbed in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regretted his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Supreme Pontiff floored it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleaded the worried driver, but the Pope kept the pedal to the metal until they heard sirens.

"Oh no, I'm gonna lose my license," moaned the driver.

The Pope pulled over and rolled down the window as the cop approached, but the cop took one look at him, went back to his motorcycle, and got on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he said to the dispatcher. The Chief got on the radio and the cop told him that he'd stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," said the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that; he's really important," said the cop.

Then the Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the Pope for a limo driver!"

Answer 4

There was an old man getting ready to celebrate his 95th birthday. His two old friends decided just as a joke they would buy him a hooker.
The hooker shows up at the old man's house the next day,she had to ring his doorbell several time before he answered:
"What do you want?" the old man said.
The hooker said "I'm here to give you some super sex"
The old man replied " I believe I'll have the soup"

Answer 5

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peeked
over the fence. Interested, he asked,

“What are you up to there, Nancy?”

“My goldfish died,” Nancy said tearfully, without looking up, “and I just buried him.”

The neighbor laughed and said condescendingly, “That’s a really big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”

Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied,

“That’s because my goldfish is inside your cat.”

Answer 6

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russell

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs stuck on a wall?
Art


What do you a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?
Bob

Answer 7

what are you doing underthere