what should i do about my situation?

Question

My boyfriend and i have been going out for 14 months. it's been rough because we both go to different schools, live 30 miles appart, have busy schedules and barley see eachother. (both because of our lifestyles and my parents...they really aren't so fond of their daughter of 17 going out yet.) i've tried reasoning with my parents and so fourththey just wont give in. they say he can come to the house any time, but it feels weird. we haven't seen eachother in 3 months and the distance seems to get to him. he told me he had a crush on this girl. he says he doesn't want to be with her, but he just cant help but like her.i got a little scared...figuring this was the end so he told me to take a break and call him in a few days. i can't sleep anymore. i thought it was time from both of us but he still talks to her.i worry about him...not so much about her. as long as he is happy right? how can i stop worrying, and what should i do? should i let him be with her? break up with him? any sugestns

Answer 1

I suggest taking a long moment to think about yourself. How confident in yourself are you? Do you love your personality and your other daily activities? If he is so stressed about the distance and has the nerve to tell you when he thinks another girl is hot, than he obviously isn't looking out for your feelings! I wouldn't make any decisions about your relationship until you can answer the above questions....cause really, this is about you!! Not him.

Answer 2

I'm not sure why it's been three months of you two not seeing one another if you only live thirty miles apart? Especially with it being the summer time. All that aside, I'm sorry to say that it doesn't sound very good. I'm not saying go out and break up with him. I think it's important to go out and see this relationship through to whatever end. The fact that you two don't have much time for one another really doesn't help though. This other girl... ouch, I know that's gotta' hurt. Atleast he's being honest though right? That's A LOT more than what most guys would do. As far as the break thing... I've said it a few times here on Yahoo Answers, I think it's a horrible idea. It's a way of breaking up in stages or breaking up without actually having to have the break up speach. Just not get back together. 'If' you want to be with him then I suggest you push for this break to end soon. Very soon. Then start making time for one another. Go from there.

Answer 3

You are 17 years old. Your personality will radically change between now and the time you are 25ish years old- thats 8 major more times. He's kinda sorta the same age- so you're looking at another 8 or so major personality changes.

The odds are better than 95% that the BOY you're dating NOW will be the man you HATE in a few years. The woman you WILL be in a few years is NOT the girl he likes NOW- he just told you this!

You are at the age where you should be learning social skills, and that doesn't mean having a b/f. What this means is to learn serious, adult social interaction.

Such as: always use birth control- because a baby will completely screw up your life, no mater how cute they look. Avoid the use of drugs or booze- its illegal, you're underage, and it impaires the ability to think clearly- which means you could get raped, or killed, or worse yet- get stoned and be put in a porn flick that you didn't ask for.

Use your head and ears for something other than a hatrack, ok? Good Luck in Life

Answer 4

It sounds like he needs some time to himself. Whatever you do DONT FORCE HIM into going back with you. This will only hurt YOU in the long run! He obviously cares about you a lot b/c he let you know that he had a crush on someone else, its not like he just talks to the girl behind your back like MOST boys would do! he probably just doesn't want to hurt you...so instead he took a break to figure things out. THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO DO IT.....you should respect him a lot more for doing that rather than just cheating on you! You're not going to get over him right away so DONT TRY, just let it come naturally. Go out and explore.....make new friends (that doesn't mean it has to be anything serious.....just something to keep your mind occupied). Dont worry, he'll come around. And if he doesn't .....(just write me back)

Answer 5

hmm yea long distance really doesn't work. Only way I see that working is if one of you has a car and you guys spend a lot of time together at his house. 30 miles isn't that far at all. I dated someone who spent a year away in Germany and we both travelled a lot to Japan Brazil Germany and Italy (seperately.) It's funny though, we couldn't make it through college, and I eventually started dating someone at my same school. You'll get over him. I say you gotta end it.

Oh and also I've been broken up with before. Guys are really sensative, especially good guys who tell you the truth abuot their feelings, and try making a long distance relationship work. Make sure instead of just breaking up with him, you discuss the problem, and you really try hard to fix it first and if its truly hopeless then you break up as a mutual agreement because it's just too impractical.

P.S. There's no such thing as fate. You have to work hard to make relationships work, the magical Jesus or cupid or whatever fairy tale these other answerers are talking about isn't going to make a long distance relationship work because it was "meant to be" that is just the crock of sh*t that I'd expect from a dumb girl who reads too many romance novels with Fabio on the cover.

Please take my advice I don't really care about points, just looking out for my fellow man.

Answer 6

Wow, tough question to answer but I'm willing to try and help. Ask him if he cares about you enough to stop talking to this girl because it's hurting you. Long distance relationships are sooo tough. I've had a few of them, they can be really fun too though. I don't know if there's a way for you to stop worrying but you need to think about if you are being selfish or not. Do you want him to be with you just because he's yours right now or would you want him to be happy more than anything. Talk to him... find out if staying with you would make him happier. Maybe you guys can work something out..... I'm sorry if I wasn't much help... Good luck with everything.

Answer 7

If you aren't happy and he isn't happy then you just need to let it go because for 1 the distance is a problem, your schedules, your parents, and of course the element of surprise ( this girl he has a crush on) You are probably wondering if he is cheating on you and if he is happier with this girl and so on and so on. Being that you are so far apart 99.99999999999999999% he is cheating on you and needing space for a few days OH YEAH. let him go so that he can be happy and find someone closer so that you can be happy no since in waiting for him when he is apparently happy with this other girl. Hope it all works out for you.

Answer 8

You need to take charge of the situation, not just sit back and wonder. It's your life, LIVE IT! If he asked for a break give it to him and that doesn't mean you sit home and pout! See what else is out there for you. If it's meant to be, he'll miss you and call you and then the two of you need to speak and decide how to maintain your relationship. But you BOTH must want a relationship, if he doesn't, don't waste your time.

Answer 9

Ok....truthfully you both are full of Y&$^%$^%$

If you wanted him sooo bad you would find a way to see each other....Period! And that goes the same for him. This other girl may or may not exist anyway..it was probably a ploy to get you to come down and investigate! We guys aren't real good sometimes at explaining our feelings and punk a s s dudes don't keep it real anyway. You both playing..emotions ain't a game. Get on your business and that's that. Your folks they know the game that's why they don't play. Stop Playing Yourself. Tell him point bland..no see....no me...and roll on.

Good Luck

Phantom

Answer 10

Wow hard decision i agree.
well trust is an utmost important factor in a relationship the fact that he told you about this (other girl) makes me wonder if he was (a) feeling guilty about his affection towards her or (b) trying to pressure you into a decision you might not normally rush into either way its been my experience that you should listen to your parents (hear me out) i'm going to get sappy and romantic now true love will prevail if its the real deal the two of you can make it work either way good luck