What do i do if i cant stand my father but have to live with him?

Question

He always yells at me even if i do nothing, He never trusts me or lets me go anywhere. He lies to me about having the money for me to hang out with my friends, and h throws and screams at me.. I just count down the hours until i get out of the house.. being a junior in high school doesnt help me any... help me please

Answer 1

Do you mean that he actually throws stuff at you or did you mean to write something like he "throws tantrums"? If he throws stuff at you that is not right and needs to stop. You would need to talk to someone about that, and to him and tell him how you feel about it. However, your posting does not sound as if you are scared of your dad. It sounds as if you are angry that he won't let you do what you want.

Why does he never trust you? Have you ever done anything to cause him to not trust you? Parents often are very worried about teenage children and are terrified that something bad will happen to them, and think that if they keep them home they can protect them from all the stuff that is going on in the world. Unfortunately they sometimes don't know any other way to deal with it except to yell at their kids. Being a parent of a teenager today is a really tough job.

Just because he has the money doesn't mean that you are entitled to have it to go out with your friends. He may need it for bills. He should just tell you that it is needed for something else though, and you should be able to accept that. If you feel you don't have enough money to spend, think about getting a part time job.

Talk to a counselor at your school. S/he should be able to help you sort things out a little better with your dad if it is just that he wants to protect you. S/he might also be able to help you put things in perspective and might be able to talk to you and your dad together.

You will never have another dad. And someday he won't be there. If he is not being abusive to you, then there is a relationship in there somewhere. He may not know any other way to show that he is worried about you. Try to see things from his perspective and think about whether he has any reason to be concerned. Show him what you have written here and the responses you received. Talking about all of that might be a good place to start.

Take care.

Answer 2

Well, for now you don't really have too much of a choice. I'm guessing if your mom was around to live with you would have already tried that route. So, you should just try to avoid him as much as possible until you are able to go off to college or move out. Do you have a job right now? That would be a good way to start saving money so you don't have to ask your dad for any, also so you can afford things like an apartment and school while spending time away from your house. I'm sorry your dad isn't the greatest, that's pretty sad.

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel because I know his type of person: yelling on other people, not ready to listen to anyone, intolerant and doesn't care how other people feel; simply, he does not respect others. Especially if they are dependent on him, are always forgiving him and let him do it again, he thinks that it works and that he CAN use his "methods" whenever he wants. It is really hard to cope with them, especially if you are dependent on him. He is your father, supports you while you are going to school… Some people suggested you to try to satisfy him with cleaning the house and treating him with respect. It is OK, but I am afraid, concerning his temper and character, that it can work only for a couple of days and as soon as you do something "wrong", he will be "that old one" again. No matter how hard you try, he will always find some reason for yelling on you – not because it is your fault, but because it is HIS style and HIS way of resolving the problems. I know how hard it is to live with such a person. You can't stand it anymore, but you don't se a way out, because you still need him.

Anyway, maybe it is not a good idea to find a job and leave your home if you are still going to school. Please, try to contact some professional. Not because there is something wrong with you but because you DESERVE the support and understanding that you don't get from your father. There must be some school psychologist or social worker in your town. With his or her help, you will learn how to cope with your father and how to manage your feelings, or even it will help both of you to build one better relationship. Anyway, if he is not willing to change (what is very possible), you will learn how to raise your self-respect and you will built your self-confidence independently on how he is trying to treat you. You will feel much better, your attitude will change and this can make him feel that he CANNOT treat you like that and he will be forced to control himself better. Don't be alone in this and ask for help that you deserve.

Answer 4

I'm really sorry to read about the situation that you are in at the moment but God sees all and HE knows all too. Pray and ask God to continue to protect you and watch over you and ask HIM to give peace to your father. I can't imagine what you are going thru and my heart goes out to you. If there isn't anyone else that you could stay with you might want to see if you could stay at a friends for a while. In a situation like this there really isn't anyewhere that I could tell you to go that he couldn't come get you back. You are still a minor and your dad has the right to bring you back home. Its sad but true until you turn 18 well at least her in la you have to abide by his rules. If he hits on you then you should report it and that will get you out the house but in a foster home. I will be praying for you that all works out for the best especially i will be praying for your dad.

Answer 5

My Dad was the same way.
I think my Dad was miserable in his life, and felt trapped by his family, and took his anger out on us.
Ask your Dad if he resents you. Tell him that you're sorry that you aren't the child he deserves. Suggest that he send you to counseling. Suggest that it may be beneficial if he were to go as well, considering that you've caused him so much turmoil.
Sometimes parents are so wrapped in their own problems, and their own life, they don't realize that they are hurting their kids. I think you may be right about counting the hours.
I'd quit asking him for money, maybe you can offer to babysit for someone in your neighborhood, or get a job. That would get you out of the house, and get you some money of your own.
My Dad did not change until I moved out. Then he treated my younger brother nad sister better, but he blamed my Mom for causing me to move out. Which was bull, though she never did stand up to him for us kids.
If you can't live elsewhere, and you can't get counseling, then I guess you stay out of his sight, and bide time, until you can move out on your own. Try talking to your guidance counselor at school.
I wish you the best. Good luck.

Answer 6

Why is your father treating you like that? does he drink or what that sounds like a very unsafe place to stay. But I would say as long as hes not physically abusive, dont do anything that you know would tick him off. Deal with it until your able to move.
{where is your mom? does she have a say so in this} Or maybe you can talk to a family member. I dont know but that has got to be very stressfull for you and dealing with school as well.
Maybe a school counselor or a social worker could help you!

Answer 7

Aaaaw, it sounds like you are in quite bind. Its really hard to say the right thing here because we do not have your Dad's side. It just sounds like he is showing you some "tough love". As long as he is not abusing you. I hope you're planning to go to college. Have you ever tried to sit him down and tell him your feelings? Are your friends troublemakers? Its a cruel, cruel world, I am sure he is just trying to prepare you. Have patience, try to talk it out, maybe get an after school job.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

Get more involved with school activities to stay out of the house as much as possible. Join study groups, dance committees, become part of student counsel, whatever you can do so you can stay out of the house. If it is school related you can probably get your dad to be willing to let you stay out. Or go to friend's houses or to another relative's house as much as possible, if he lets you. Or invite friends or relatives over to prevent him from yelling at you (most parents wont yell in front of others, as to not embarass themselves).

Answer 9

Well his your dad you have to find a way to compramise with him, cauz nomatter where you in life is still gonna be there in your life, and another think is that his just being over protective because guys this days are asshose, so just chill ok, cauz am in the same situation and mine is not even my dad, his just my uncle, and if you look at another way you only got one more year to go in high school so be cool girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

wait untillyou have enough money to move out or can move out and then its bye bye and go on with ur life. you'll be graduating soon so you'll be goin out into the real world make the best of it. get a job raise sum muny, then rent an apartment or sumthin and there you go. you'll make it chik jus hold out a bit longer.