how can i find a new mother for my kids?

Question

in less than a year i am going to be dead but i havent told anyone. my husband is lazy and over 50 and my 3 kids are all under 6. there is no family on either side so i dont know what will happen to the kids when i'm gone. i know he cant work and afford before/after school child care at the same time. should i contact children services or a lawyer? or should i try to find a new mom for them?

Answer 1

Be honest with your family 1st so that you and ur family can plan this 2gether. seek a priest or a counselor also. ur kids, hubby, and u will need support and learn how to deal with ur situation. U may be surprise at how helpful ur hubby really is. there are services that will help ur family. contact ur local community organization.

Answer 2

I'm sorry about your situation. And will pray for you.
Dont contact child services, they will seperate your kids and they will be in foster homes, and foster homes arent always good homes.
I think you should go out and meet some people or contact an adoption agency.
There are lots of couple that for some reason or another cant have children.
I have two a 15 yr old girl and an 11 yr old boy. I went through some surgical procedures that cause me not to be able to have any more kids. Now im in a relationship with a man that has no kids and i cant give him any. We are going to adopt.
Do you think your husband will give up his parental rights to allow someone else to adopt the kids?
If not everything you do will be in vain because he automatically gets them upon your death.
You really need to discuss this with him becaue you cant give custody of the kids to anyone without his permission.
If he agrees with you then the two of you should go to the adoption agency togeather and explain the situation and see if they can help find a good home that will take all the kids togeather.
You should also have long conversations with you children about what is going on. I know you said they are all young but trust me they will remember, your death and being sent to a new home.
You need to prepare them for you not being there anymore.
Make list and write letters, gather pictures and put them in a box for your children to read when they are older.

Answer 3

I am so sorry for you...this too is one of my worries. I am not officially dieing, but my health is not well and I worry about what will happen to my 4 children ages 12, 8, 6 and 2. There father is here with us, but by no means is he responsible enough to care for 4 children, 2 which have disabilities. I am sure he would give it his best, but let's face it he is my 33 year old 5th child. I agree that you must talk with him, because if you make plans for them and he refuses than it was all done in vain. I also agree to not contact social services. I am sure there are good foster homes out there, but there are just as many bad ones...and the likelyhood of them being seperated is huge. Dealing with your loss will be hard enough without having to deal with the loss of their siblings. I know I have tried to figure out where my kids would go and how hard it would be to walk up to my friend and say...hey could you take in my 4 kids, but it may come to that. First talk with your husbandand see how he feels and what he thinks would be in the best interest of the children. This could be the wake up call that makes him become a number 1 daddy. He will also be able to apply for survivors benefits through social security for money assistance. Maybe you could even arrange for some family friends to check in and assist with things after you are gone. If he feels that he cannot handle the task at hand, then now is the time to devise plans. Start looking for potential parents...be it friends or through adoption agencies. But you must start this immediately so that you will be here to make the decision as to what home you feel comfortable leaving them with. I hope you come up with something and everything works out for the best. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Answer 4

Let your husband raise the children. Sure he is lazy right now but that's because he still has you around. Those are his children also (I'm assuming) and after you pass those children should be his main priority and focus. Does you husband know about your impending death? If not, maybe you should tell him so he can ready himself for something that could quite possibly be the most devastating thing to happen to him. If you still don't have too much faith in your husband ask a close friend to keep and eye out for your children and your husband "should anything happen to you" and to report him to child services if he clearly lacks what it takes to be at least a halfway decent parent. Don't be in a rush to find someone to replace you because with all the crazy people out here you never know who your recruiting to raise your children. Also this "other mom" may never be able to tell your children who their mom was and what type of person you were or provide little anecdotes from your life that might help your children throughout theirs. At least with your husband they might have chance of having a sense of who their mother was. Hope this helps and good luck.

Answer 5

You need to consult your physician for advice, as well as stop being selfish about what you know about your health, you need to have your family informed. One day mom's there the next she's not; that's not fair to the children. As well as a physician you need to contact human services and any churches that may help you. Human services may find placement for your children but you don't know the people they'll be stuck living with, these could be abusive horrible people to the children, but are very nice to your face, Trust no one. You need to pray hard and often about this ill situation, pray for yourself some guidance and pray that your children will be happy for the rest of their natural born lives. I will pray for you and your situation. GOD BLESS.

Answer 6

You don't have any other family willing to take them. Maybe you should contact child services you should also tell your family your situation. My mom died and if I knew she was sick if she wouldn't of told me I might of been angry with her after she was gone. Knowing means they will make the best of the time they have with you. Good luck.

Answer 7

with out someone they know and respect it will be hard to control them by just replacing you you should talk to your husband and let him know that the kids need a parent not another child in the house with you not there communication is the key and church is no stranger to these situations

Answer 8

Wish we could take them for you. My kids turned out great.
I suppose children services would have them in foster care til someone was found. We are in Mn; where are you?

Answer 9

God Bless you and your family you will leave behind. I would call them all to find the best option for your family.

Answer 10

awww now what is wrong with you that you know you will be dead in a yr....give me a call or email....I will take your kids! I want more and cant have anymore! I wish I could!