we moved across country from two totaly different states and moved in together. we have now been here for four months things went well at frist and then in the last month since we have been here, he has started to question us moving into together ? But we still love each other and want to make it work what can i do to help him, so we can go on and be happy?
2006-08-30 06:20:56 · 14 answers · asked by *tink* 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You shouldn't be living together or sleeping together if you aren't married. It's a sin against GOD. May be he has started to realize. it's true it's true.
2006-08-30 06:24:26 · answer #1 · answered by Smooth talking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why he's feeling that way and if he doesn't know, give him room to decide. Maybe he's having second thoughts about the relationship and want to date others, or have his privacy. Those two signs means he may not be ready for a serious commitment with you. I'm sorry to say this so harshly but if he loves you and you live on your own then most likely he will come back. Woman are always up to making a HOME but men, not until they are much older, if they haven't in the past, like to settle down with a women for good.
Live your life single and test the waters. See where he's coming from so that you don't get hurt later on. Your ego could take a big tall and affect you so be strong, smart and bold. Take the bull by the horns, and give him room. He will come back if he wants to be with you.
Sorry about this... that's why I never agree to co-habitate b/c in the long run they will never marry you.
2006-08-30 13:28:11 · answer #2 · answered by Treasure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's one of the problems with moving in together. It simulates marriage, but there is no commitment from either party. If he has started to question it, listen to him. He's telling you he isn't ready for this yet. If you persist, you're going to lose him. If you really love him, get separate apartments, and just date for a while. If that works out, you can get engaged. And if that's okay, you can get married, move in together and live happily ever after. That sounds old fashioned, but the divorce rate under the 'old fashioned' way was MUCH lower than it is today. People move in together and start playing house, have a kid, then separate. It's tough on everyone, and especially the kids. I know, you aren't talking about having kids, but guess what? That's one of the things that happen when you move in together. So listen to your guy. It sounds like he's got a good head on his shoulders.
2006-08-30 13:26:18 · answer #3 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally speaking it's not a good idea for couples to co-habitate before they marry. I know marrige is scary and seems like it may be a long way off, but 85% of couples who co-habitate before they marry end up divorcing. I realize that number seems high so i reccomend yo uresarch that on your own. Living together comes off as a step before marrige and i have no idea what stage of life you are in, but if he's acting skittish it is because he doesn't want to start thinking about marrige but at the same time he has been thrusted into a situation where he must- this explaining his motivations to question wether or not moving in together was a wise idea.
2006-08-30 13:25:55 · answer #4 · answered by Dre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give it more than four months before making any concrete decisions. Moving away is hard on anyone. Alone or otherwise. Give it some time and get involved in your new community. I'd say after a year or so, if you are not happy, maybe it's not meant to be.
2006-08-30 13:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he questioning what has already happen......... then there is no helping him......... save your money and get your own place..... show him you understand and that you have NO problem moving out and giving him his wish.......... I beleive that will be the only way to save your relationship and to bring the spark back. Although it has only been 4 months that you have been living together and you are already having this kind of issue. Its not going to work and you are not the one for him and he is not the one for you........ move out and see how it goes..... blessed be.
2006-08-30 13:28:17 · answer #6 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well communicate more, express your feelings!!! Ask him straight out what it is that he is insecure about and if he truly is happy, b/c its lovely to be happy oneself but when the person you care about is not happy its not the same thing. Also express to him that him feeling "insecure about the move" makes you feel honestly!!! This will not only relieve the tension but make you all happier people in general!!! God Bless and take it easy everythign will work out...
2006-08-30 13:26:47 · answer #7 · answered by lasugarfree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down with him and try to get to the root of the problem. you guys are still in the adjustment stage so alot of problems will be popping out. but no problem will be too big to hurdle if couples would learn how to communicate well. be very well aware that whatever your partner says is what he feels so respect it. the exercise is not to find the fault or the offender but to alleviate the hurt that one felt. openess is the key and addressing it properly will seal your union. good luck !!
2006-08-30 13:34:30 · answer #8 · answered by babytalk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to address his concerns. Talk to him about what is causing him to have 2nd thoughts. You can't just ignore his feelings and hope they go away.
2006-08-30 13:27:02 · answer #9 · answered by Suesan W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be there for him and talk to him and show him it's really going to work. good luck
2006-08-30 13:23:00 · answer #10 · answered by Melda R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋