I've been with my fiance for 3 yrs. He's a great person, treats me good but have a problem with being faithfull. He has cheated on me before. Now he promisses to change, he is willing to move away and start a new life with me. At this present time everyone around him including his business partners are cheating on their wives and girlfriends. I'm thinking to myself maybe I should give him a last chance to see where it takes us, but I'm not sure what to do.
2006-08-30 05:43:51 · 36 answers · asked by Nounou06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Only you know for sure if your man has the capacity to learn from his mistakes and change. If you're suspecting that he's lying to you, don't get married. That's pretty cut and dry.
People can change and the statement "once a cheater..." just doesn't apply to each and every situation. You have to judge that for yourself.
If you think your man is sincere and you honestly believe that he won't cheat on you again, then trust him. You have to trust him. It's soooo hard to forget that type of thing, let alone trust that he won't do it again.
Just go with your gut on this one. Good luck.
2006-08-30 05:51:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You really have to ask your self a question: Do you want to wake up everyday for the rest of your life wondering if your husband is being faithful to you? That is the question that you will keep asking yourself. It is always hard to walk away from a relationship and nobody but yourself can make this decision and yes people can change but he has to be willing to change.
Now you have to ask him a question (he has to be honest) why did he cheat? Go from there. Are you not around enough for him. (at least in his eyes)
If you stay together you will probably need couseling) I cannot and will not tell you yes or no for this because only you know your heart and him. But I will tell you that you should postpone the wedding until you figure some answers out, NEVER marry somebody you can't trust so first you need to gain some trust back if you decide to keep him around! I hope this helps out a little bit. I know a lot of people are saying dump him, but sometimes that's not the answer! Good luck with the situation!
2006-08-30 06:04:38 · answer #2 · answered by glitter3317 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not. If you are not sure, wait before you get married. Three yeras is already a long time, but I think you need to wait to be sure. I guess it depends on when in the relationship he cheated, and what the circumstances were. I'm not excusing it - but it may depend on that. A promise to change is just that - no more, no less. Has he cheated since you became engaged? Does he flirt? Does he have "close" women friends he talks with? Sorry you have so much on your plate... might be a good idea to go to couples counselling.
2006-08-30 08:29:38 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way is he going to change. Do you think you'll move to a place where there are no other women? Where business partners don't cheat on their wives?
Besides, if you start a new life somewhere else and he cheats, and then you decide to leave, you'll feel more pressure to stay, even if you don't want to, because you've run off and left your entire support system behind.
2006-08-30 08:29:08 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK well if he has cheated why are you still with him? I mean you probably love the guy. But once he cheated he'll do it again and again. next thing you know you'll have kids and be at home all the time. And he'll say i'm working late but really out doing what he wants to do. My ex husband cheated and I said good bye. No use of marring someone who has cheated. Because it will always happen. My ex husband said he would stop beating me after we got married. I believed him. 2 months later he beat me so bad i was in the ER with welts all over my head, bruised ribs, black and blue eye. And better believe his butt was throwin in jail that same night. Cause i went to the MP's (military police) So don't marry him if you think he is going to do it. And he isn't a man if he does. Exspecially the people he works with. Them kind of guys gives good men a bad name!
2006-08-30 05:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by samantha_rose0 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Not unless you truly believe he will be faithful to you; if not, even if he is, you will always suspect that that he is cheating and it will cause a rift in your relationship that will only get wider and deeper with time. Perhaps try moving away from the present environment of cheaters and into a new one and see how that goes for six months before making a commitment for marriage. Many men feel that once the ring is on your finger, you are their property, but that doesn't mean that they think they are yours.
2006-08-30 05:48:36 · answer #6 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you are a moron. But at least you are asking the question ahead of time, so I will give you credit for that.
You started your question by "should you marry someone that you don't trust...". That alone is a reason not to marry that person, no matter what the reason for not trusting him.
I'm not saying he will never change, but there is a better than 50/50 chance he will 'stray' after the marriage considering he has already done so in your current relationship.
Do yourself a favor and find someone worthy of you to marry.
2006-08-30 05:49:45 · answer #7 · answered by wyntre_2000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need to think twice about marrying this guy. He cheated on the past and he's surrounded by cheating co-workers. You're not going to be happy and worst, if you do decide to marry, you may regret it it in the future. Not a great way to start out your lives together. If you don't have trust in your significant other, you have nothing. They'll only end up hurting you in the end.
2006-08-30 05:48:22 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't marry someone I don't trust because marriage is built on trust,faithfulness,sincerity and honesty. The situation of your finance is pathetic because he happened to find himself in a bad company and he choose the wrong people as close associates or friends.An adage says"show me your friend and I will tell who are". He can change if he has a strong determination to do so.Please don't give up on him so easily, you could still effect a change in him which he will forever be grateful to you.However, don't give him your whole heart,so that you can take the next available option if you discover he is not sincere with his promise to turn a new leaf.
2006-08-30 06:03:34 · answer #9 · answered by sankara 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have the same problem ! got evrything but havnt got trust between us! i guess when ur in love this happens that u forgive ppl !!but i think u shouldnt get married to that quick! move away start a new life but dont get married that soon coz then u might regret it!! and also one more thing .. i am in the same stage as urS ! he has cheated and did said . that he would change but i have this doubt in my mind all the time bout what is he doign behind my back ! iguess that this pain aint worth what we got ! we r jst torturing urselfs by thinking all the time so i think that the best is go with what u r heart says gbut if u in doubt and dont trust him then dont marry him !
2006-08-30 05:53:45 · answer #10 · answered by sandras 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋