My parents are getting older, and my brother and I are discussing plans on how to deal with their needs. Those of you who have been through the process of dealing with aging parents, what advice would you give to someone? What were some of the most important lessons you learned? Thank you!
2006-08-30 05:36:47 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Everyone must do what is best for them, but I agree with the theory they took care of you and now you must return that favor. My mother used to work for nursing homes and she made me swear I would never put her in one when she got old. She never got the chance to get old because she died of lung cancer when she was 39, but I kept to my word and took care of her. It was the hardest thing I ever did...I had 2 kids and was pregnant...but I would not change a thing. I later followed in her footsteps and became a CNA and went to work for a nursing home...and it wasn't a pretty sight. For every truly caring nurse you have, you have 3 that treat you like crap...physically, verbally and sexually. I loved my job but it got to be too much for me to witness all the abuse, and several times I reported it and I ended up in trouble...go figure. Plus noone really wants to be locked up like that. We told them when and what they could eat, when and what they could do, they had to get up at the butt crack of dawn regardless of what they wanted and were ushered to bed at the employees earliest convience. If you must put them in a nursing home really check it out. And don't drop them off and only visit every now and again...because those are the targeted ones. If noone ever visits how would they know how they are being treated. You must maintain close close contact...please!
2006-08-30 08:28:56 · answer #1 · answered by araine77 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dealing with aging parents can be very difficult at times, yet can be very fun and rewarding too.The best advise anyone can give you is to live, day by day!! Do your parents have health or mental issues? If they healthy, remember they still are adults and require independents.Depending on your situation, get to know your parents,thay may have a life that you have never known before,it's cool really. It's the only parents you have and one day they won't be around anymore.It's hard at times, for all of you, yet you can say that you did the right thing.Remember, you too will be in their shoes someday and need to set an example for your own children to take care of you someday!!day by day; hour by hour; min. by min, if you have to. Do the right thing and you will have no regrets.As for how to take care of aging parents; The council of aging is a good organization,go to support groups(MAKE TIME,YOU WILL NEED IT),Other family members,I guess this site, your church might have classes on aging parents,etc. You are not alone out there, just don't let the walls close in around you and shut out the world and you'll be just fine!! I have been there and done that many times over.I should be crazy but I am not!!
2006-08-30 06:04:47 · answer #2 · answered by mdzevolveddammit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not only dealing with aging parents, but I work in long-term care. You didn't give a lot of detail in your question, so I am not really sure what answer you are looking for. You should try to visit them and stay connected as much as you possibly can. If you notice that they are struggling to take care of themselves, you may want to consider a retirement community or an assisted living. if the care they need is minimal, you could consider hiring a home health aide to assist them.
2006-08-30 05:43:57 · answer #3 · answered by Kailey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the hardest thing is when they are not able to care for one another safely. It is hard to tell parents they can not drive or those sort of things. If your parents are still able to care for themselves then you and your brother need to discuss their wishes and get them to provide you with a power of attorney so that you can legally assist them if needed. With out a power of attorney you can not even discuss their medical issues with the doctor etc. Try to allow them to live in their own home as long a possible.
2006-08-30 05:42:54 · answer #4 · answered by middle aged and love it 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through. All my life I saw my father as the greatest, strongest, most intelligent man in the world. About 4 years ago he just left us. He was not the same person. I felt so bad.I attribute all that I am to him. It is part of life though. Two years after that realization we had to rush him to the hospital he had pneumonia. The doctors didn't expect him to survive, but he did.I moved him in with me and I did everything for him. He hated it..He was always so independent and felt bad that I had to care for him. I told him every single day what a wonderful man he was and that he was the love of my life next to my son, I moved to NC 2 years ago because he had COPD and I thought that it would be better for him to live in a more secluded quiet place, Seeing he always loved mountains and the country life. The day after we arrived to our new house my father passed away. All I can tell you is love him, be there for him and show him everyday how important he is to you. It is hard but he made you strong.... Never forget that. Best of luck to you...
2016-03-27 01:19:13 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aging parents are just like little kids, they need your understanding and attention, they have special needs which need to be taken care of. They are also emotionally dependent on you. Be patient with them and keep them occupied in activities like gardening or maybe even surfing the net. Remember always be there for them, they are the ones who have made you reach where you are. Now it is them who need your help. God bless them.
2006-08-30 05:44:58 · answer #6 · answered by ash_m_79 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stick by them. I have not dealt with this from my parents, but I did deal with it with my grandmother before she passed. It was really hard to take care of her, but it was something I enjoyed doing. Believe me, it was not easy, there were some bad days, but it had to be done. This is when they need you the most.
2006-08-30 05:45:19 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are considering a nursing home, get nursing home insurance at least 3 years before you put them in one
2006-08-30 05:50:51 · answer #8 · answered by bill6866 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have some love and affection to them; one day or other you too will become older and aged. bear in mind.
2006-08-30 05:52:05 · answer #9 · answered by prince47 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
love them, cherish them, by kind even when it is hard. Spend al the time you can with them and more. That is all I can say because I will cry, I want more time with them.
2006-08-30 05:40:40 · answer #10 · answered by Faith M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋