Ever since my ex-girlfriend and I started having problems my life has been turned upside down. I recognize that I have a lot going for me. I'm 28, good looking, I have a great family (although they are acrossed the country) I have a great job, a nice place to live, my health etc. However, every day I wake up and think about what is wrong in my life. I constantly focus on the negative. Even if I have a bright spot in my day the negative emotions are always underlying. I started taking Paxil about 2 months ago but I don't know that it is helping. I miss my ex girlfriend tremendously and right now I cannot see myself finding another girl like her. I have tried to keep myself busy with working two jobs, working out, spending as much time with friends as possible and being healthy in general. For a long time I was a party boy.. out at the clubs doing all that bad stuff to my body and mind.. I'm sure that has an affect but it should be this bad. I believe in a God but not in a church sense.
2006-08-30 05:27:13 · 8 answers · asked by onthedlyoshi 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Most depression medications need at least a 3 month trial period before you can be sure how much they are helping.
Sounds like you are doing the right things with exercise, spending time with friends, etc.
I might also suggest that you engage in some type of volunteer work where people are stuck in some really hard places and need help getting out.
Have you considered becoming a Big Brother?
How about a hospital volunteer?
Or doing chores and errands for the elderly?
And if you can find a church that supports your belief system you can get a lot of encouragement there as well as opportunities to be helpful to others.
2006-08-30 05:40:37 · answer #1 · answered by Puzzler 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For starters, stop beating yourself up. It is a well-known fact that men suffer so much more and longer than women during break-ups. THAT IS NATURAL.
Wanna stay healthy? Get rid of the Paxil. You are not depressed, you are just dwelling on a situation way too long. There is a difference. You said yourself, you only have one thing that is not going your way and you needn't go through so much to take your mind off of it.
Working out is good. Go out to some cultural events, don't be afraid if someone gives you lingering eye contact. It is totally up to you whether you want to get involved. You do know the statistics that men in relationships and marriages live longer than those who remain single and dating - maybe its the stress.
If you have time, take up yoga, that should compliment your workout routine and allow you to control your mind from wandering back on "that" subject.
2006-08-30 05:45:05 · answer #2 · answered by gravelgertiesgems 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give the medication some time to work out for you. Then if everything is so unbearable take some counselling and make an action plan for your own mental health. Do something you enjoy and that keeps you busy and decide to have a positive thought every time a bad one comes in your mind. I have a lot of stress myself (and it's not the first time in my life)like yours but I decided that this time has to be different>
I'm going to work happy, I'm doing the second job, the one I really enjoy doing but some time has to be only for me: 1 hour counselling a week, 2 hours pilates classes to keep myself inshape and trying to see the positive everytime my micro world turns against me (and I'm not kiddin')
YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!
2006-08-30 05:49:09 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not very clinical but it has worked for me: Get busy on something else, distract yourself. Don't do it to forget your pain, do it because it needs doing (Wash/detail the car, clean the house, plant a fig tree, mow the lawn, write a letter to a relative/old friend about whats been going right in your life, etc). You need to change your focus. This is often difficult, a broken relationship is a tough thing to get over.
Think positively.
Good luck!
2006-08-30 06:17:08 · answer #4 · answered by pigsilk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
low self esteem has nothing to do with losers. Its just something that happens to people when they dont feel they look as good as they should or they didnt get the promotion or they were made fun of in school or whatever. Its treatable and not always with drugs. Overweight might have some things to do with it also. When i lost a few pounds my mood improved tremendously.
2016-03-17 04:48:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone else is right here. Get off the drugs, get busy, and exercise, make your body produce endorphins. Rejection hurts. Quit being so self-absorbed. Try to focus on what's good and right in your life, rather than what's bad or wrong.
Forgive your ex for not being what you wanted or needed, and accpet that she is who she is. Forgive yourself for the same thing. Thank her for the experience, and the oportunity to learn more about yourself, who you are, what you need, and what you are willing to give.
Don't hang onto baggage, hurt, or spite. They will only wiegh you down and contaminate future relationships (which are actually opportunities to learn more about yourself). Replace it with forgiveness (for her, and for you) and thankfulness.
Baggage is like picking up poop and putting it in your pocket. It will begin to stink and repel others away from you, plus it will drive you crazy.
Here's what I have read about someone's rules about bagage:
1-KNOW WHAT'S IN YOUR BAG. Challenge yourself to understand why you feel like you do, what's the cause of your pain. Take invertory and responsibility.
2-CARRY YOUR OWN BAG. Don't drop it in someone's path and expect them to carry it for you or be responsible for it.
3-EVERYONE GETS ONLY ONE BAG. Remove all blame and spite until you arrive at what you are responsible for. That will lighten your load so you won't need a moving truck....
Go out and party on occasion, in moderaton. Mingle with people. Share your personality with those that appreciate you. Give others the attention, appreciation, and acceptance you so crave for yourself. It will all come back to you.
2006-08-30 06:51:00 · answer #6 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in your shoes down to the family accross the country, age and everything. Only I am a good looking female with a great family. Be careful with the paxil. My husband was on it and when he tried to get off he got crazy side effects like head spinning and feeling of hangover he couldnt stop. He finally got himself off but it was crazy. I know what you mean about always thinking the negative I wasnt like that until recently and it sucks. Try excercise.
2006-08-30 05:53:54 · answer #7 · answered by 2strongfor2long 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're hanging onto the pain because it's sort of replaced your girlfriend's presence in your life. Stop... it's not worth anything and will only bring you further down. Don't deny yourself chances to be happy just because you've gotten used to being upset. You are currently in the situation you choose to be in... so choose to be happy. It's really that simple.
2006-08-30 05:30:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Start with meditation.
2006-09-03 00:11:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋