how do i deal with that
2006-08-30 05:26:34 · 13 answers · asked by elizabeth n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am very sorry to hear about your loss!!!
(lots of hugs)
It is aways hard on holidays anniversays and birthdays for anyone who has lost someone that they love.
To lose a child I know from what I am going threw with my friend who lost her infant son to SID's alitle over a year ago is the hardest thing any parent will ever go threw.
I can tell you to keep yourself busy on Friday and try your best not to think about what day it is but I know that wont happen. So all I can tell you is too start a new special thing for every birthday of hers. You could plant a new tree in her honor. If you have other children, or not you could go to a special place that she loved on that day and remeber all the fun you had there with her. You could make a very special flower arrangement for her to put at the cemetary for her. Thats what I did for my friends son's first anniversay of his passing. His parent both totally loved it and appracited it. It is still in his room.
I wish I could be of more help but since I myself have never been in the situation directly I am not sure what would help make the pain go away, and to help get threw those hard days.
All the best and my thoughts are with you and will be on Friday as well!
2006-08-30 06:19:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Think about your daughter in heaven waiting for you. She is there and still 3 and a half years old, she is perfect three year old in heaven, and she will be there with open arms when you join her. Have a memento and when you think about her, hold the memento in your hands (like a locket necklace) and know that ritual means that your feelings are alive and that you have not forgotten about her. You will go through the thoughts in your mind, but after time goes by, you may use this ritual to quickly acknowledge her and your feelings, but then be able to continue with whatever it is that you are doing.
2006-08-30 05:41:11 · answer #2 · answered by mulderlx 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let me start off by telling you how sorry I am for the passing of your daughter.
I couldn't even begin to imagine what you have went through.Or what you are going through right now.
I don't know that any advice we can give you will help but I and the others on this site will tryin help you as much as we can.
It seems to me that you have already been dealing with it for 3 years now. And as cruel as it may sound it is time that you let go.
If you keep going like this you are gonna run your self into the ground.
I know that your heart is breaking and I know that you miss her but not moving on in your life is not the answer.
No matter what you say or what you do won't ever bring her back. The best thing you can do is move on. By going on with your life she'll go on.
I'm not telling you to forget her. You will never be able to forget her. Letting her go doesn't mean forgetting her.
Do you have other children?
If so then you need to think about them. They are still here and they need there mom. By being a mom to your other children and loving them you will get through this.
You aren't betraying your daughter by loving the other children. You are glorifying her by doing this. She would want you to love them the way you loved her.
You need to start living for the other children. They need there mom.
And if you don't have other children then maybe you should have another one if you can.
Don't get me wrong I'm not telling you to replace your daughter. She could never be replaced. She will always be who she was and no one can replace that.
By having another child you could learn to love again and stop hurting so much. You could find that part of you that has been missing for awhile now. Happiness.
I know that losing your daughter was and is hard. It will take awhile to ever be able to cope with this. But you will never heal if you don't let go of certain things that pertain to your daughters passing.
You have a right to feel happiness. There is nothing wrong with this. And your daughter would have wanted it that way. I know she was only 3 at the time but, she would have wanted her mommy to be happy.
You need to stop living in the past with your daughter and bring your self and the memory of your daughter to the future.
Life is happening now. Don't let it pass you by. Nothing or no one will ever take the place of your daughter but living in the past won't bring her back either.
As painful as it is she is gone. You are here. And because you move on with your life doesn't make you cruel.
Keep her in your memories that is how she will go on. But you have to let life happen. If you continue to keep your self depressed and you have other children and you keep living in the past then you are gonna be missing out on watching them grow. And before you know it they will be grown.
My best advice to you is cherish every moment and everyone you meet in life. Live for your loved ones living and not for those that have passed.
Your not betraying her. By you living you are honoring her. And someday when your time on this earth is through you will see her again. Hold tight to that thought.
2006-08-30 06:58:20 · answer #3 · answered by rockn75 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gee, don't know what to say other than that i feel for you, your child will never know the heartache this world has to offer... she is in the lap of Jesus, knowing no pain watching, and waiting for you mom..... have faith in Christ and you will soon be reunited with your little angel..god bless you
as for Suzy fire starter aka satanic Suzy, i think she should take her own cold-hearted advice..how dare she make such a derogatory comment and add Gods name..blasphemer
2006-08-30 05:52:15 · answer #4 · answered by chereeder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the suitable help team is your persons and family members . additionally a new child is a new child particular desires potential no longer something whilst it comprises the passing of your new child . i'm sorry to pay attention which you lost your's and desire you learn how to deal with the discomfort . i could be devastated to boot if my daughter died .
2016-09-30 04:19:03 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. Know that it wasn't your fault, and that God has a plan for all of us, it was just her time to go. Maybe you could have a small get-together with your family on her birthday, like a rememberence party.
Oh, and suzyfirestarter- your comments were cruel and un-needed:-(
2006-08-30 05:44:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that is sad just tell people that loved her to have a gathering not somthing sad somthing to celebrate her. Talk about story's about her look at pics have her fave food's that is what we did for my great grammie it was really speacial and we even visited her grave hope that helps.
2006-08-30 05:35:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I could suggest that you honor your daughter by doing volunteer work with children's charities such as the Make a Wish Foundation...
*hug*
2006-08-30 05:32:14 · answer #8 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Start a new tradition of something meaningful to do that day, so that someday it will hold a different meaning. God bless you and you'r family.
2006-08-30 05:35:09 · answer #9 · answered by Casey 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I believe you have done enough with the sorrow that I can imagine. Do prayer in her funeral to remind yourself that she is doing all right in the heaven now. Back to your rutine live with love in you.
2006-08-30 06:01:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋