my sons dad went back to his other babys mom 2 months into my pregnancy and she got pregnant again when she found out i was preg. He told her he didnt want to go back but then a string of horrible occurances on her end made him have no choice(kid bit by dog on face, mom abusing xanax). At first he called 3x a wk then it went down to biwkly now its been a month. Last time he called me he mentioned "us" but now he hasnt called since.. He has to have the other girl in the room when he calls but i think he sneak called this time. He never wanted to leave me, esp when he found I was preg.. But I dont know what 2 do. Our son is almost 2 m and havent heard from him in 5wks. They have no house phone so he has to use her cell.. and everytime hes happy about our son I hear her in the BG tellin him he needs to get off.. Their relationship is toxic and I want 2 help but cant. The used to beat on eachother and drink and he did meth at 1 point but quit up here.
his 3rd kids due in 2wks hes 21 im 23.
2006-08-30 05:17:33 · 20 answers · asked by Bonnie 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I am in the process of getting child support but hes in Arkansas and I am in washington so it could take awhile..
He was good to me and helped me alot when he was up here. I was puking so much and he'd clean up my house and make me ovaltine and stuff. He makes some bad decisions but he says he loves his baby boy and wants to come up this winter to see him... his bro said he is saving too...
Ive tried to move on, but I just wouldnt be able to handle possibly hurting a guy cuz of leftover feelings for the dad.
My son is my life and I'd never put him in danger nor a bad situation..
2006-08-30 05:31:42 · update #1
oh and when she called him at MY house I let him be in the back room on the phone with her. Cuz if I cant trust him then I wouldnt mind him leaving.
I let him go peacefully and didnt try to stop him, for the love of his first born. I didnt want him to have any feelings for this girl while with me, thats why I said he can come back if he needs to.
2006-08-30 05:34:26 · update #2
OH and i said he doesnt have to be with me to be with his son, shes the opposite. She said theyre either a family or not.
2006-08-30 05:35:43 · update #3
___PLEASE NOTE___:my concern isnt about him and ME its about Him and CHRISTOPHER.. I want my son to know his dad. If he doesnt want to be with me I dont want to be with him...
2006-08-30 05:55:26 · update #4
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v519/aggrivated_pixi/0cdb7cbc.jpg
thats my boy!! ;-)
2006-08-30 05:56:31 · update #5
Doesn't sound like there's anything you CAN do. It depends on him to come and see his son (and possibly you).
I don't know why so many of the answers are telling you to get another man. Feel free to ignore them. If things don't work out between you and the father, you will move on when you are ready to move on.
Although it's preferable for your son to have a relationship with his father (assuming it's an OK relationship), it isn't necessary to his well-being.
As I say, I don't see what you could do about it. You can't physically drag him back; it's up to him.
Move on (but don't be in a rush to find someone else).
2006-08-30 06:57:12 · answer #1 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to realize that everyone has choices. You say that he never wanted to leave you, but he made the choice to go back into this "toxic" relationship and leave you alone. And if that relationship is as bad as it sounds, why would he stay? There must be a reason.
You obviously love your child very much, because you say he is your life. Don't burden this child with having a man around who doesn't want to be there, and someone who is used to living in the kind of conditions that he is living in now. It sounds like a disaster in the making.
Do you and your child a favor and break yourself out of this chaos. File for your child support, and let him stay where he is. I know that it is painful now, but in the long run, I think it will actually be less painful, given his history.
Good luck.
2006-08-30 05:46:48 · answer #2 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, he's there because he wants to be.
He could leave if he wanted to, and chooses not to do so.
Change your phone number, and your address, and slap a court order for child support on his butt.
I think he's doing drugs again. That is why he stays there, cause he can get away with that crap with her, not with you.
I feel sorry for your son, and I can understand how you feel, but I think Meth-boy has made it quite clear what his intentions are.
No house phone, okay, they still make pay phones, there is no excuse for his dropping you, returning to her, and not keeping in touch, other than he wants to be where he is, and soesn't want you to know it.
Get on with your life. Your reason to live is your child, not the off chance that some wussy meth addict will wise up and come back to you and be a knight in shining armor.
Go find a man who will love you above all else, and all others. That's the man you deserve. That's the man your son deserves to have in his life.
I wish you the best.
2006-08-30 05:38:50 · answer #3 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it sucks but sometimes you have to let go. If he really loved you and wanted to be with you and his son then he would leave her and be with you guys. Put your son first. This situation is so not fair to him. TRUST ME! I am a single mom. My son has never met his father(who also has two other children he doesn't see) and in my opinion that is far more better than having a man in and out of his life. It's a very hard decision to make, but one that you need to do for the sake of your son. You are young. You can find someone who REALLY loves you and your son. Think positive and don't let this get you down. Like I said, things like this suck but they have to be done sometimes. Keep your head up.
2006-08-30 05:30:10 · answer #4 · answered by JeNNy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get another men you don't need him for nothing, well you can only get child support order that way visitation & economic help be stablished , but he seems to be irresponsible with you and with your baby he doesn't have enough guts to be strong & make a stable decition that means that maybe tomorrow he will live her and come back with you & then what ???? you will get pregnant again & he migth live again or willhw be able to have a serious & formal situation??? No you don't need that do it for you and for your baby he will need you & only you... Maybe a good responsible & loving men is waiting for you just don't be in a rush to find some one he will come one day .. rigth now concentrate on your baby he should be your only important little men rigth now ... Forget about him & live your own life with your l ittle angel ... GOOD LUCK & BEST WISHES !!!!
2006-08-30 05:45:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I been in somewhat of the same situation as you. If the guy really wants to be with, he will. You are still young, so go on with your life and find someone who can love you and not impose their drama on you. You have a young child to worry about, the last thing you need right now is to worry about a grown a** man.
2006-08-30 05:30:41 · answer #6 · answered by sweetie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't seem that there is anything you personally can do in that situation. He has to decide for himself to either be committed to the relationship with the other woman, or commit himself to you. Obviously your heart goes out to him if he is in a toxic relationship, but there's nothing productive that you can do by interfering with that relationship. He's always going to have a connection to you and to that other woman, by having fathered children with both of you. If he wants to construct a family with you instead, then he has to be the one to make that choice and commit to it, because you would not want to force the issue and then he comes to you, but it's the other woman he's calling on your phone while you stand in the background, right?
2006-08-30 05:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by dropletclk 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For the sake of your child, get your head out of the clouds. He is back together with his ex. They are in a relationship. You need to find a way to make him support his son with you but move on with your life.
2006-08-30 05:24:39 · answer #8 · answered by thesweetestthings24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's some serious drama right there but like you said you know what to do. He on the other hand gotta up grow quicker than most responsibilities are knocking at his door. Wish you luck with all the drama and prepare yourself for th unexpected.
2006-08-30 05:28:20 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah you need to move on. He's a loser. Think about your baby's future. Would you want someone like that around him? Even if he's his dad I wouldn't stick around and it seems like he doesn't care for you. He tells you all you want to hear so that you don't think about forgetting him, but he'll never change. You and your son deserve something good and you're really young.
2006-08-30 05:27:53 · answer #10 · answered by Geneddly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋