What is your thinking on alcoholism and recovery?

Question

Suppose someone you knew fairly well, who shares your faith (or lack there of), was an active alcoholic some five years ago. They have abstained from any sort of alcohol for those five years.

A) Should they call themselves an alcoholic? Why/Why not?

B) Would you encourage them to drink alcohol in moderation? Why/Why not?

C) Would you want to see them continuing to go to Alcoholics Anonymous? Why/Why not?

I know this is a religious section. But I have found that different religious groups have different attitudes regarding recovery.

Answer 1

Alcoholism is a life-long disease. The alcoholic person can NEVER repeat NEVER drink normally again. Maybe some can for a while, but eventually will slip back into the old ways.
As far as encouraging anybody to continue AA, it would be best for you to MYOB if you are not in AA yourself.
Unfortunately, when "normal" people try to help a drunk to recover, they almost always do the wrong thing and make the drunk worse.

Answer 2

A) I'm not sure if they need to go around telling everyone that they meet, but they should at least remember that themselves.

B) No I would not, because it is too slippery of a slope. I recently left my husband of many years who was an alcoholic (and abusive) and I have seen how many times over the years he would give up drinking for days, weeks, months, etc, then say that he would just have a glass of wine, then that would turn into a bottle, then two and he'd be right back in the same hellish place.

C) If AA has worked for them in the past, then yes. If not they should find some type of support system that works for them. I think one way that those kinds of groups work is that they free you from the horrible isolation of being an alcoholic or living in an alcoholic family.

Answer 3

A. I think that the addiction does not ever go away and the possibility of falling off the wagon is always there. In that sense, even one who hasn't touched a drink in 30 years is still an alcoholic. It makes no difference to me whether they call themselves that or not. I have seen from experience that the ones who realize their weakness do much better at staying sober. Those who consider themselves cured tend to get a little too confident and relapse. That is why the first step of AA is to admit your powerlessness over the disease. Pride and addiction just don't work together.
B. No, no, no. There is no such thing as drinking in moderation for an alcoholic. Would you like to try some cyanide in moderation. Don't tempt them. It is an area of great vulnerability.
C. Yes, yes, yes. It does not matter what faith they have or don't have; AA was specifically designed with those differences in mind. The 12- step method has a proven track record. Even if you don't have an addiction being part of such a group will enrich your life and facilitate personal growth. We need each other. It's impossible to overcome these addictions alone. When we lack the self-discipline to say no to things that harm us that simply means we don't have the discipline inside. So we need help from the outside. One of the best things about AA is that help is just a phone call away any time you need it.
I hope your friend doesn't just give up drinking, but finds healing and life.

Answer 4

I know some stuff about this topic mostly from family personal experiences. I studied it hard trying to help my siblings.

A. The consensus is if you call an alcoholic an alcoholic you get contempt or worse. When they call themselves one, they seem to begin improving their life and the lives of those around them. It's like they see that something they thought was a good quality is suddenly a bad quality. When somebody else accuses them of it, they defend themselves to the death. It seems like if a person quit for years like you suggest, it would indicate that they don't have a problem. But that is a catch 22 situation. With my siblings I have found that no matter how long of a streak they go for doing good, they have that bad in them just waiting to come back out. Let them hold the title if they want no matter how far away from their problem they seem to be.

B. One Sibling was at the AA since I was too young to understand. Their was a huge number of years between when he stopped going to see those people and when he tried a little bit of drinking. That somehow set him off to a terrible out of control drunk. Don't suggest drinking at all because the risk/reward is a bad bet. The risk is you help to start ruining a life, and the reward is that person gets to have an adult beverage. Would you bet your house to win movie tickets?

C. I got 3 siblings with the problems. Anytime they stop going to some kind of self-help their brains take a turn for the worst and they begin making their lives and those around them worse. I don't even have to ask them if they are going anymore. If they act antisocial I soon find out via the grapevine that they stopped going. They are much nicer to be around when they are going regularly.

Since I've been paying attention to this stuff (maybe 1985) I have seen a lot of news stories about ways to quit, and reasons to keep moderate drinking, magic pills that stop addictions, etc. It seems the only thing that isn’t debunked a year or two after the news story is that Alcoholics Anonymous. Some of the other methods have indirectly led to people’s deaths. I'm not sure why the Alcoholics Anonymous is impervious to bad press, but so far it is.

Answer 5

Just because a person has abstained from alcohol for aperiod of time does not mean they are in recovery. They just have not drank. Recovery is a process that takes place mentally, physically and sprirtually. To answer your other questions:

A.) No one should call anyone an alcoholic because it is the "drinkers" choice as to whether or not they are an alcoholic. Also scientifically you are not declared an alcoholic until you die and an autopsy is performed and your organs are diagnosed by their deterioration, etc.

B.) Why should you encourage anyone to drink? Once again it is that person's choice whether they drink or not because only they know the effect of their drinking. They know how they "feel" afterwards and not necessarily does it have a physical effect.

C.) If this person is your friend you would and should support whatever they choose to do. Maybe AA works for them and they are happy with their current circumstance. Who are you to interfere with that happiness or peace? Instead you should encourage and empower this person to continue to do whatever improves their quality of life.

Answer 6

A) If a person is an active AA member, they consider themselves to be alcoholics and announce themselves as one every time they speak. In my opinion, their lives are still focused on alcohol even if they're not drinking, so they are. (Do smokers who quit still identify themselves as smokers? I WAS an alcoholic, now, I don't drink.)

B) No, especially if they've been exposed to AA. One of their major beliefs is that they can never drink again. If they believe a single drink will cause them to become raging alcoholics, it will, a self fulfilling prophesy. From the Orange Papers:
"There is also experimental evidence that the A.A. doctrine of powerlessness leads to binge drinking. In a sophisticated controlled study of A.A.'s effectiveness (Brandsma et. al.), court-mandated offenders who had been sent to Alcoholics Anonymous for several months were engaging in FIVE TIMES as much binge drinking as another group of alcoholics who got no treatment at all, and the A.A. group was doing NINE TIMES as much binge drinking as another group of alcoholics who got rational behavior therapy."

The vast majority of people who experience drinking problems (80% according to a Harvard study) quit or learn to moderate on their own.

C) No, I would not encourage ANYONE to go to AA. The success rate for AA members (from AA internal studies) is about 2.5%. Your friend apparently is one of the lucky ones, but by this time, shouldn't he be doing something more with his life than filling it with AA meetings? I don't see where focusing on previous bad behavior is healthy. If anything it only allows alcoholic thoughts to be running around in the brain.

Answer 7

I do not care for labels. Especially if it is something they have moved away from. If they refer to themselves as that as an indicator to others. So be it.
I wouldn't encourage them to drink in moderation. If they chose to have a glass of wine, that would be a personal decision. I also think it would depend on the personality type of the person in question. (This is why we use juice in ritual at our coven gatherings.)
I have a problem with N.A. & A.A. There are times that it seems they want you to stay stuck in addict mentality. It is a bit hard to grow and move beyong when you are hearing about it on a weekly basis. I do feel they are good programs for someone new to sobriety and for those who get the urge after a time of sobriety. They can offer much needed support.

Blessings )O(

Answer 8

a) I don't have a problem calling themselves that, but after 5 years of abstaining, "recovering alcoholic" might be more accurate.

b) No way would I encourage them to drink a drop, I think it would hinder or undue much of the recovery process.

c) That would be their choice, I know people that keep going, because it's meaningful to them to help others go through what they have already experienced, but if they wanted to stop, I'd be fine with that too.

Answer 9

Whether the person calls him or herself an alcoholic is generally up to the person. I have often heard the phrase "Alcoholism is a self-diagnosed disease." If the person in question had defined him or herself as an alcoholic, I would not encourage the person to drink at all. Attendance at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous has been very helpful to a large number of people who suffer from alcoholism.

I can only cite my own experience, having remained sober in Alcoholics Anonymous for 30 years.

Answer 10

they are an alcoholic. they have a disease which they will carry the rest of their lives. because alcoholism runs so high on both sides of my family i avoid alcohol because i know that it won't take much to make me an alcoholic just like them.
there is no such thing as "recovery." an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic and they will fail at keeping it undercontrol if they allow themselves too much leeway.
i understand that not all alcoholics are this severe. there is a difference between problem drinkers and alcoholics. if someone is severely alcoholic then they should avoid drinking like the plague.
AA is their choice. it couldn't hurt in some cases.