Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk?

Question

Willys cynical thought for the fugging day;

A NICE AS$ should be seen and not freaking heard!

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk. I
don't drink anymore but these are so true:

a) Innovative  
b) Preliminary  
c) Proliferation  
d) Cinnamon  

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk:  

a) Specificity  
b) British Constitution  
c) Passive-aggressive disorder  
d) Transubstantiate  

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk:  

a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.  
b) Nope, no more booze for me.  
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.  
d) No kebab for me, thank you.  
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?  
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.  
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.  
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.  
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.  
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.  
k) I didn't do ____ because I was scared I wouldn't do it right and people would laugh at me.

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

From; Willys Jokes archives!

Answer 1

Nucking Futz, it is nice to know you can quit drinking and still keep a sense of humor. The hardest thing for me to say drunk was, I will go home with you but I just want to get some sleep.
I wore the same clothes today because I liked them yesterday.
I will call you soon.
They always came out as,
have s** with me now,
I haven't been home all night,
Don't call me and I won't call you.
how about a post on how to translate drunk into english? or the other way around.

Answer 2

1. d. Cinnamon
2. d. Transubstantiate
3. i. Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street

Answer 3

Even sober,I go into the baker's wanting a curd tart,but it always comes out as turd cart.Weird thing is,they never question it

Answer 4

those are great, however, coming from personal exspierence
i have heard myself say while intoxicated:

influence===comes out "unfruence"
"where did that young gentleman go? I fancied his company."
===came out as "hey man! where...who'ddid that ggguy go?
he's hot!"

one time i tried to give a yuppy directions, and instead of saying
"if you go down that street over there and take your 1st right,
Hollow's Ave. is your 1st left." it came out as===
"see dat st-treeded ther? lookfur Hollows, man. is rite ther, can't miss it man. hey man, did--dooo yo got any pot?"

i also can't say seemingly perdantic words like "phenominal"
it comes out like "freenominnial"
also while inebriated, the word "sincerly" come out as
sincerr--...seenerrrrr. ah *** it. SUPERCALAFRAGALISTICEXPIALADOSHUS!"

Answer 5

I'm not the pheasant plucker i'm the pheasant pluckers mate, i'm sitting plucking pheasants cause the pheasant pluckers late.
OR
i'm not even close to being drunk!
OR
or course i can drive!

Answer 6

Good ones!

Personally, I think even when sober people say "judicial system" they sound drunk lol

Answer 7

I think this website is appropriate for this question!

http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf

Thanks for the 2 points and enjoy!

Answer 8

haha i've heard these before still funny though ♥

Answer 9

i never got drunk

Answer 10

How about things that are so nice to say.....like....."Is it in yet, shorty?"