Me and my boyfriend have a child together and we are madly in love with each other. We are looking forward to getting married someday. He doesn't believe in the Bible or God, and I am a preachers daughter that attends church. We are very happy together. We are having the problem of being told by family that we are not allowed to be together in a relationship because we do not have the same religious beliefs. Is it not true that love can conquer all?
2006-08-30 03:57:20 · 23 answers · asked by busyliz 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
If you two love each other then what other people say shouldn't matter. your boyfriend is a very logical thinker and doesn't allow the false teachings of Religion to warp his mind. I think that you should tell ur parents to Mind thier own buisness.
2006-08-30 04:00:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
It might not be a problem now, but sooner or later religion will come up as a problem...particularly when you start living together. It depends on how tolerant the both of you are of your differing beliefs.
That said, to blazes with what your family says. They are not you, and they clearly have their own prejeduces to get around. Only you can know what is best for you...though it will take a great deal of trial and error to make a final determination on it.
As long as neither of you are control freaks or abusive, there shouldn't be a problem. Ignore the family and do what you think is best.
2006-08-30 04:05:55 · answer #2 · answered by Scott M 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Love can conquer many things, but religion can be downright dangerous. A marriage can be very difficult if two people have such completely different beliefs. Listen closely to your boyfriend when he explains why he does not believe in God or the Bible.
I am a happily married atheist. My husband believes in God, but knows that the Bible is a book of myths. If he were to be a strong, practicing Christian, I would have little hope for the success of our marriage or our future together.
2006-08-30 03:59:31 · answer #3 · answered by Kathryn™ 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋
If you are a Christian, then you have a major problem because you clearly are in a state of sin. Christians do NOT have premaritial sex, but you have. You have produced an illegitimate child, and you and your lover persist in remaining outside of wedlock. Finally, if this "man" is to be your husband, then why are you still listening to your parents? When a woman marries, she then cleaves unto her husband, NOT her parents' prejudices.
The condition of your boyfriend's soul is actually NEITHER YOUR BUSINESS NOR YOUR PARENTS. It is between him and his Creator. Given that you are an unwed mother, it would be much more wise for you to consider the state of your own relationship with your Creator. And, your parents definitely should consider their relationship with God as clearly they failed you when you needed them most. If they were among the righteous, how could their daughter have fallen? That your father is a preacher does NOT mean that he is any more righteous or wise in God's eyes than you, your boyfriend, or anyone else. And, given that life is so short, he had better consider inspecting his own spiritual condition much more closely.
As for love: there isn't a single decent reason why you shouldn't be with your boyfriend right now or ever. Jesus said that he came with one commandment that we all should love. Love itself is the commandment. If you believe in Jesus, then you should follow your heart. For God said I will write my laws in your heart. Clearly, love is what was written. Having said that, however, your situation is complicated.
Love does not pay bills; it doesn't make people nice after a hard day at work; and it won't magically make someone who is abusive into sweetness and light. If you and your boyfriend have sufficient income to pay your bills and if, no matter what life throws at you, you always remember to be kind and patient with each other, then you will almost certainly make it. All this assumes, of course, that you are of legal age to consent.
When two choose a life together, they leave their individual families and cleave unto one another. If you choose your boyfriend, you need to set clear and rigid boundaries between your new family and your old family. Your parents and any other self-righteous hypocrites have no right to interfere in your love and happiness. If they can't accept your relationship with him, then you need to make it clear that you are with him and that you will be seeing much less of them in the future.
So, to answer you question: love doesn't always conquer all, but love oftentimes gives us the strength of will to endure the difficult and get through to the sweeter moments that make life livable.
2006-08-30 04:25:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you two are happy and can make it work then the families need to stay out of it. I feel ya though, I'm Pagan who's marrying an agnostic which isn't too bad but my family is Christian. Ugh. We're having our wedding/handfasting the way we want it and if the families can't be happy for us then so be it. I would try to come up with ceremony that accomodates both i.e. keeping the religious overtones to a minimum and focusing on the marriage itself and what it means to you and him and your commitment to each other.
2006-08-30 04:06:03 · answer #5 · answered by PaganPoetess 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you are 18+ you can do whatever the hell you want. You won't be getting married before that anyway, so you truly are free to marry him as soon as you are 18 if you both want to.
I suspect it is YOUR family saying you can't be together rather than his, right? You could make secret plans to move in with him on your 18th birthday.
It's your life, not your parent's. Choose your own happiness over placating the fears of others.
2006-08-30 04:13:52 · answer #6 · answered by lenny 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The fact that you are a preachers daughter and attend church doesn't make you Christian, just someone who is still riding on their parents coat tails. You need to decide what you believe. If you are committed to Christ then you will have a very difficult time in a relationship with someone who doesn't share your convictions. In addition, your child will be torn between your conflicting beliefs. I would suggest before you continue a serious relationship you decide what you believe and then find someone who you can share those beliefs with.
2006-08-30 04:06:24 · answer #7 · answered by hutmikttmuk 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It is not true that love can conquer all. Your support systems, i.e. friends and family, can be critical in helping make your relationship work or in hindering it. Moreover, you two have a markedly different world view which comprises a large part of your lives you will not share. Over time those areas where you are living seperate lives gain more importance than they seem to have when love is in bloom.
2006-08-30 04:01:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Somewhere in the Bible it says something about being equally yoked. At leas that's the answer I always hear about dating/marrying someone of a different religion.
I had a strong christian friend that was dating an atheist that she was very much in love with. It was hard for her however, because she couldn't share her faith with him, and that was a part of her that he would never understand. They eventually ended the relationship. The issue may be more with your parents disapproval--I was in a relationship with a guy and my parents didn't like him. I thought I was so in love, and yadda yadda yadda, only to find 2 1/2 years later that yes, he was the creep my parents always said he was, and he didn't care two shakes about me. I'm not going to tell you to end your relationship, I'm just going to say to proceed with caution, because things aren't always what they seem, and sometimes although we don't want to admit it, our parents are right.
2006-08-30 04:04:51 · answer #9 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It hasn't been my experience.
Different religious beliefs are one of the leading causes of divorce, if not THE leading cause. (It's either that, or money troubles. I forget which)
A difference of religious belief affects every aspect of your life, and the decisions you make, and what you value and/or don't value. It's not just an activity you pursue on Sunday.
Speaking for myself, I was divorced after 6 years. And the biggest reason for said divorce was the fact that I'm an atheist, and she's a Methodist.
2006-08-30 04:13:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love doesn't conquer all.
However, your chances of success are dependent on how militant the both of you are about your beliefs.
While it seems likely that an atheist could stand a relationship with someone who is devout without trying to "convert" them, it seems less likely that someone who is devout could stand a relationship with an atheist without trying to convert THEM.
So your future may be in your hands alone as to this topic. Can you live and let live?
2006-08-30 04:09:37 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋