"If you can cope with the pain of being abused, should you have to tell anyone?" My son told me the other night. He's falling apart and I have no idea what to do. We're away from his father now but I have yet to take a course of legal action. My son (whom I'll call Jason) was abused for fourteen years before he finally told me. What kind of legal action should I take? (He is sixteen)
2006-08-30 03:43:22 · 20 answers · asked by dOnNa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Physical abuse & I caught him in attempted act of sexual abuse
2006-08-30 03:50:54 · update #1
He is now 16 yrs old
2006-08-30 03:57:24 · update #2
we r now seperated at a hotel
2006-08-30 04:07:46 · update #3
Your son has trusted you enough to come to you, now you need to take the appropriate action as his mother. Call the police and make a report (documentation is very important)! Seek legal advice and counseling (for both of you). It's not going to be easy, you will need support from family and friends. Good luck I wish you the best.
2006-08-30 05:30:41 · answer #1 · answered by fox75460 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to get that child into counseling. Now.
Before you worry about legal action. Your first concern, now that you've removed him from the abusive situation, is his well being.
I'm guessing you should probably start with calling the cops, because they'll be the folks that bring charges against his father. They'll also be able to get you in touch with whoever else you need to speak to in your town.
Call his guidance counselor at school, and ask for resources.
Hospitals will help. Check out the link below.
14 years is a long freaking time, you didn't say how old your son is, but that's likely, what, his whole, life, or most of it? Get him healthy and stable, that's your biggest issue right now.
I wish you the best.
2006-08-30 03:53:23 · answer #2 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES, you should tell. Even if you are separated, there is still the possibility of visitation with continued abuse or custody issues. PLEASE contact your version of FAMILY COURT to register a PROTECTION FROM ABUSE ORDER on behalf of your son, since he is a minor. In Delaware, he cannot file for himself, since he is a minor; you must file for him. Contact DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SERVICES and ask for help -- they will be able to tell you what forms you need to fill out and help you. Contact LEGAL AID SOCIETY for free legal consultation if you have little or no money, for legal services. Once you are legally protected, you can consider longer term issues, such as counseling, etc. "Coping" with the pain is not realistic. The scars of this abuse are many, deep, and will not surface for a long, long time and in many, subtle ways. Also, while the police will try to be helpful, you will probably want to have an order already in place before you start any action against the father, just to be on the safe side. Good luck!!
2006-08-30 04:33:01 · answer #3 · answered by Yahzmin ♥♥ 4ever 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the police and file a report...the statue of limitations for child abuse may vary in different states but as long as its reported before he turns 25 legal action can still be taken...the father should not get away with this..if he has done this once he has or will do it again...also the police can give you information about who and where to contact counselors, lawyers and inform you of your legal rights as well as your son's victim rights...i believe this sort of stuff should be prosecuted to the limit..child abuse is not something that just goes away, even if your son never sees his father there are long term side effects that you both will have to learn to cope with..and there is help out there...the police is a perfect place to start...also the context of the abuse dont matter, whether physical, sexual, psychological..in the criminal justice world, child abuse is a very serious crime..stopping this kind of crime is why i chose my career
2006-08-30 04:03:41 · answer #4 · answered by cheshirekitty68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Physical? Sexual? Psychological? What?. It depends on the kind of abuse, but start with a visit to a counselor and go from there. Just stay away from priests !
2006-08-30 03:49:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is very sad and i was abused as a child and now im a grown adult i never had counceling cause i never told anyone and it affects you your whole life and if u caught him why didnt u abusing ur child u should of had him arrested and u should check into it still and if u get your son into counceling it woul help him a great deal cause for me not telling and holding it all in it messes with my head and sometimes when im very mad now i explode
2006-08-30 04:06:06 · answer #6 · answered by mell14716 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It helps to see a "shrink". It helps to get past the hurt and distrust. That is the best thing for this. It took me 25 years to see one for my abuse and it helped so much that I couldn't believe it. I wish my mother had done this for me instead of growing up, being married, having children and then seeing a doctor.
2006-08-30 04:05:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell cause when i was 12 13 14 15 i got abused it hurst i told on them they got in trouble i am 15 turning 16 in nov 23 2006 i can't cope with it cause i still think about it everyday.
2006-08-30 03:49:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't give you advice on what I would do here, in your position my solution would result in me going to jail. Let's just say that no one should get away with hurting a child.
You need to contact child services and a lawyer and the police. He goes to jail and never sees your son again and that is just the begining!
2006-08-30 03:48:16 · answer #9 · answered by Christina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call cps. i was sexually abused by my brother for almost 10 yrs and i waited until i was 16 to tell my mom and she didnt believe me. just because your away as i take it was by the father)dosnt matter he deserves the book thrown at him. also get the child in counsiling. he needs to talk about this. i wish u the best and your son.u must tell someone one and not to tell is againt the law
2006-08-30 04:34:56 · answer #10 · answered by robin w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋