Is it worth being a foster parent?

Question

My wife and I have given it some thought and I thought I would see if there were any foster parents on here...how long do you usually provide for the children before they are taken away again? Is it hard not to get real attached to them? How do you deal with it? Does the agency you go through pay for all medical bills if any with the child? Thanks for the help!!

Answer 1

If you love kids, its a great thing to do. I work in a group home/ residential treatment facility as a counselor currently. The kids I help take care of stay with us for a little over year. Most of them go into foster care or another group home depending on behavioral severity. At the group home, I'm basically like a paid dad. I do EVERYTHING for them that regular parents would do. Getting attached to them and letting them go is very difficult especially when the environment they are going back isnt good for them even though the "system" puts them back there anyways. (Thats the hardest part: Putting your heart into a kid and watch them grow and having to send them back to an environment that isnt even close to what you could provide...sad sad sad.)

There will be a few, if you take care of many kids, that will steal your heart and break it when they leave, however, I've learned that its the hardest the first few times and after that it becomes easier because another kid always comes in to fill their place and your time, emotions and energy is put into that one or ones. After a while it becomes a part of the job. I'd say the first two groups of kids I work with were the hardest in that regards.

Word of advice: If you are wanting to become a foster parent in order to develop bonds with kids, I say keep an opened mind about that. Many kids that come into care have attachment related issues and regardless of what you do, getting through to them wont happen. (Even though that is true, they still deserve the best of care and your best effort at all times) Make sure you understand and accept that before getting into this. With that said there is always hope for every kid. For example there have been a number of kids no one else could get through to however I could.

Well the bottom line is: If you have the heart and drive to do this, DO IT!!! We and the children need you. I wish there were more foster parents out there.

Counselor Dan

Answer 2

In Kentucky, the agency pays all medical bills by way of Medicaid and also pays the foster parents monthly for support. Children here can stay in the same foster home for years and then be returned to their parents. My husband and I did not feel we could deal with that, so we are now emergency foster parents. When a child is taken away from his parents, he stays with us for a few days until a permanent home can be found. Some of these kids come to us in bad shape. We have had 12 kids come in during the past 18 months and everyone had meth head parents. Its really sad.

Answer 3

Worth it, how? Is it important to the children? Definately. Foster parents receive a payment monthly, however, you will most likely need to ask the CPS for a special "allowance" for clothes, etc., as the children usually don't have much. Foster children almost always have medical insurance thru the gov't - Medicaid. Most foster kids need to be taken to counseling appts, etc., so be prepared for that. My husband and I foster parent, and you do get attached. But, just know that you can and will make an impact on their lives, no matter how long or short of a period of time that they are with you. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Hi there, personally, I don't think I could foster. I would probably become to attached to the child, then would have to give him/her up later. I believe that the govt. pays for any medical bills, but I could be wrong. I've looked into adoption before but never fostering. If you are an older couple, maybe you could try applying at one of those camps for kids (usually orphans) who need a live in couple all the time for mentoring. This way you don't have to worry about medical coverage, and you can also get your living expenses paid for. Good luck on whatever you decide! It takes special people to foster!

Answer 5

depends on what state you live in.

Answer 6

I'm a Teacher, and all I can say is PLEASE, PLEASE become a Foster Parent.

Now that I'm working in Public School, I decided that when I'm in my 50's--I will become a Foster Parent.

I want to share something with you. I know this letter is long, but I feel compelled to share this with you--please take the time to read this:

School started the first week of August in my area this year..I'm a Reading Specialist , which means that I tutor children 1 on 1 throughout the day..The first week of school, I was assigned to tutor an 8 year hispanic old girl named "Lina". She's in the 2nd grade, and she is one of the happiest, funniest little girls I have ever met. Every morning she greets with this big bright smile, and a few giggles.

Even though she is 8, I noticed that she plays the "mommy role" to her little brother who's in kindergarten, and her little sister who's in 1st grade. She walks them to class each and every every morning...She is soooo smart--and she is an A student already. They are all in Foster Care.

3 weeks ago, a kindergarten little boy (not Lina's brother) went missing from school property at dismissal--he was no where to be found when his parents came to pick him up at the end of the day. (We have a large school and at dismissal, children are running in all different directions). Panic hit the entire school--Teachers were crying, his father was desperate and afraid, and everyone was looking for the child...Out of nowhere, Lina approached a Teacher and said "I know where he is! I saw him get on the Green Bus!"...Turns out, the little boy had accidentally boarded one of the many school buses--and the driver simply did not notice. It was a miracle that the little boy didnt get nervous and get off the bus in the middle of the city..The Principal radioed the bus, and the father raced across town to pick up the child.

A few days later, I gave Lina a prize for helping us find the missing boy. She was sooo happy and proud of herself. All the other kids oohed and awed.

I work in the After School Program as well, and Lina and I would somtimes play board games, jump rope, or just talk. Aside from maybe 2 times where she got upset with the other students for not wanting to play jump rope with her--she really is just a sweet little kid.

One day, she told me that she was in Foster Care, and that maybe one day her foster mom would be "my forever Mom".

A few days after she helped find the little boy, I saw Lina first thing in the morning at around 7:45 am, as she was walking to class.... I immediately noticed her face. There 2 very large, thick black bruises on her face--1 on her lips and 1 on her nose. Her lips were black & swollen, and they swelled to about 2 times its normal size--to the point where she had trouble talking... Her nose was also black and swollen... It was obvious that an Adult---not a child--had punched her very forcefully 2 times. .

I took her beside me, and very calmly said "what happened to your face"?..at that moment, her little 6 year old sister gasped, and placed her hand over Lina's mouth and said "no!".....Lina then looked down towards the ground, and said "I fell off the bed".

This wasn't case of a "spanking". I was spanked as a child from time to time--and I honestly have no problems with spankings of small children for chronic misbehavior--but this was clearly, clearly very different from that...

I immeditaly told her regular Teacher to please look at Lina's face. When the Teacher questioned her, Lina began giving different stories--from falling off the bed, to falling before school started, to falling at school.

Later on that same day while I was tutoring Lina's little sister, I casually asked her "what happened to Lina's face?"..The sister leaned over, and whispered to me that Lina had "got a whopping for talking too much in class".

Because of the severity of her injuries, I alerted the Principal, and I was instructed to immeditaly call Family Services to report a case of abuse..The social workers came to the school. Lina was taken to a doctors office where photos were taken of her injuries.
A police detetective called me as well.

The next day when I saw Lina, she came up to me in the morning, grabbed my hand, and innocently said "The people came to talk to me--I went the the doctors and they took a picture of my boo-boos"...

To you, I say all this to say: There is a Desperate Need for GOOD, LOVING, PATIENT Foster Parents in America--and maybe you are one of them who has the Higher Calling right now to do so..See, there are some Foster Parents who only see a paycheck written above their foster children's heads...Therefore, Lina is still in custody of her Foster Mother till this day.Because of the shortage of Foster Parents, there is just no where else for them to go, I guess.

As for your question, I don't know how often children have to leave their Foster Parents....but I do know that Lina and many other children--who have no voice--are living right now with mean, angry, hateful Foster Parents, or Biological Parents--and their lives are just so awful..I did meet Lina's Foster Mom before that incident---I saw her the day I gave Lina her prize. The Foster Mom seemed angry, and made a few negative comments, then left.

If you have been thinking about being Foster Parents, then maybe God is placing this on your heart for a Reason.

Trust me, its not easy being a Foster Parent--get ready for occasional temper tantrums, folding of arms and huffing, and burst of tears from time to time. These kids have been abandoned and hurt--its hard for an adult woman to be abandoed by her husband--can you imagine being 7 an abandoned by Mom and Dad and everyone that you ever knew?..But, its called PATIENCE... One day the other children didnt want to play jump rope with Lina, and she folded her arms, stomped away, and shouted to the top of her lungs"They're being mean!"...I calmly asked Lina why she upset and she told me. She calmed down 5 minutes later--and it was like nothing happened--Kids will be kids. Please don't overreact or explode when that occasional tantrum comes on--if you are Patient and Calm--it will fade away, and you all will move on to the next project of the day.

Ask yourself which is best: Would you rather be a Foster Parent and give a child Love, Patience, and Acceptance for the first time in their life--and take the chance that Maybe that child will be re-united with her birth mother 2 years later.... OR, would you rather not be a Foster Parent, and leave a child in a situation that only God Knows What they are going through--with NO guarantee that they will EVER be adopted or re-united, and never have been shown Love?

Even if you have a child only for 6 months, 1 year, or 5 years--you will plant a Seed in that child's Heart that they can carry with them for the Rest of Their Lives--True Love Does Exist!

Peace, and Many, Many Blessings

Answer 7

i dont no probly