because we are already planning to get married this coming december and thinking that before marriage he already afforded to hit me...is being drunk an acceptable excuse for hitting a woman?
2006-08-30 02:47:44 · 57 answers · asked by kristine-ave 1 in Pets ➔ Cats
No, being drunk is NOT an acceptable excuse. There ARE NO acceptable excuses.
2006-08-30 02:51:24 · answer #1 · answered by stormy 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If you are asking this question is this because you are just looking for confirmation to what you already know you are headed for?
If he has lowered himself as far as to hit you now and you aren't even married what do you suppose your life will be in years to come? Physical abuse like hitting when drunk is the very first step to a very difficult life on your part. I don't think he will be giving up the drink so he will probably hit you again. If you stay with him now he knows you will stay with him the next time and the next time after that. Next will probably be mental abuse and who know where that will lead you. Not the life I would want to lead, always in fear of being hurt. Love is not a faucet and you can't just turn it off at will. I think you really need to think about your future, the future of your kids and the environment that would be happy and healthy. Then think about how the whole situation looked as he was hitting you. Are they the same? How did it make you feel? Something you want for the rest of your's and your children's lives? I bet he had the nerve to apology afterwards and I bet he even told you he would never ever do it again. Am I right??? Bet I am....guess what....no matter what he said to you he will do it again. Next time you might not be so lucky as it could be a lot more severe. Trust me on this one as I do know what I am talking about here.
2006-08-30 04:21:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! There is no excuse for hitting the person you are supposed to be in love with. Do not accept drinking as an excuse for any bad behaviour.
I attend a support group for family members of alcoholics once a week. My story & the stories of the others in the group have many common themes. One of those is, "Why, did I marry that person, or stay with that person so long, and take all that abuse for so many years?
If he hits you, and he drinks, then that is an excellent reason to put the marriage plans on hold.
Only you can decide if it is right to end this relationship.
Take care of yourself, & keep safe.
2006-08-30 03:10:28 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no excuse for hitting a woman. Not only is being drunk not an excuse to hit you, but it is yet another reason to call off any wedding plans you have. You seriously should never have contact with this guy again. If you do you will regret it.
2006-08-30 02:56:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
really? i think that you should really evaluate your situation...i wouldnt care what he was there is no excuse in the world that ever allow me to accept a man putting his hands on me thats just crazy...and your marry? not to be a smartassbut think of it like this i dont know if you have kids but would you accept if he got DRUNK and hit your child? and if you dont have kids you probably will and thats the reality of things ive been through something like that and believe me it never gets better and they always promise that they are sorry and it will never happen again pretty soon he wont need to be drunk and any hitting BIG or SMALL isnt right and you need to get away from him and stay away it might be hard and it will hurt but dont you think that you deserve a man that has better things to so with his hands than hit you? i really hope you sit down and think about what your going through and what you could put kids through also...GOOD LUCK
2006-08-30 02:56:05 · answer #5 · answered by glenda d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through the same stuff!! being drunk is not an acceptable excuse, there is no excuse for hitting a woman. If he had done it now, he will do it again, it only gets worse after you marry him. no one can tell you what to do, but in my opionion I wouldnt marry him for this reason!!!!!! good luck
2006-08-30 02:56:37 · answer #6 · answered by feline 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is your choice, but it is showing you a sight of things to come and usually gets worse after you get married as they think, and you may think, you no longer have a choice in leaving.
No, being drunk is not an acceptable excuse and if you accept it, then anytime his drunk you have already given him permission to use you as a punching bag.
You don't have to give up on him just yet though; urge him to get help for his drinking/anger management issues before proceeding to the next step of your relationship, marriage, and put the wedding on hold indefinately until he does. If he refused to acknowledge that he has a real problem then you need to make the choice of whether or not this is how you want to spend the rest of your life, and if you are planning to have children, how they will see their parents.
2006-08-30 02:57:56 · answer #7 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you marry him it wont stop. Even if you don't marry him it wont stop. His being drunk is most likely what he is like when he is sober, he just hasn't done it sober YET but he will! I know I'm living it now. We both need to be strong before we get seriously injured or killed. We need to leave them because once a hitter always a hitter!! I'll pray for us both that we do the right thing.There is no excuse for them hitting us. This should be under the dog category not cats.
2006-08-30 03:37:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE!!! DO NOT marry this guy....if you really love him, then ask him to seek professional help for himself. My mom raised us in a home where we saw her being abused alot by different boyfriends. There is never an acceptable excuse for hitting a woman...for hitting anyone for that matter. Your boyfriend needs some anger management classes to learn how to direct his anger in the right place. Please listen to me, when I say DO NOT MARRY HIM!! Getting married won't make the problem go away...and it usually makes the situation worse actually....Be strong and walk away before you end up getting really hurt or worse...dead. God bless.
2006-08-30 02:53:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation....engaged, only hit once, sincere apology....
Ended up marrying him, and spent a year trying to keep him from killing me.
Yes, he was a drunk, and being drunk is NO excuse for any man to hit you or mistreat you.
Once a man has laid a hand on you , it will only get worse over time. The verbal abuse will be first, then the hitting, or shoving ...from there, use your imagination.
Please take my advice and run while you still have time. Many women who have been in abusive alcoholic relationships are lucky to be alive!
Love is never enough...respect is necessary also.
2006-08-30 02:58:25 · answer #10 · answered by shortfrog 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ok if he hit you once then he is liable to do it again. And what if you do marry him and get pregnant? Will he hit you then too? These are the things you need to consider. You have to think ahead towards the future. My suggestion is to leave him now while you still have a chance. Its better to leave now before wasting your time, love, energy, and money into a wedding and a marraige when you know its not going to last.
2006-08-30 02:55:35 · answer #11 · answered by Shadow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋