My life is outta control, how can I regain it control?

Question

My kids 8,7, and 2 are gettign worse as they get older. My daughter is getting sassy and smart mouth. My seven year old is lazy whines, complains, cries, or falls asleep, and refuses to eat anything. My two y.o keeps unlocking the door and running outside so I can never get my housework done. It is such a struggle to keep him inside the house. My boyfriend is not working to his fullest potiential to earn more money , and addictied to palystation. I took the semester off school to get my life and house turned back around but the battle with housework, kids, bills and work ...make me want to open the door and run away! How did I do so well managing this in the past and now I can't handle this anymore? I only have 2 semesters until I get my bachlors, and I just got a new great job I don't want to sacrafice either of them b/c of a bad home life. (I have already slacked in school and let my other good job slip away) Help!

Answer 1

Smash up the playstation and throw your useless boyfriend out. Concentrate on your kids, dont let them imitate him.

Answer 2

Throw out the PStation and lay down an ultimatum - help out or get out! Put away ALL the kids toys (except one the 2 year old needs for comfort) and make them earn each one back, week by week. Create a chore chart - doesn't need to be fancy just lined paper - for the 7 and 8 year old and make sure they stick to it. Check it every day, several times a day. If you put it up and let them be responsible it will not happen, you NEED to hound them. At least for the first several months.

Every time they talk back, it's another week without toys. Each week, if they've been good and not talked back, done their chores, they get ONE toy back each.

The two older ones should be able to entertain the 2 year old, in a safe area, for a short amount of time - up to an hour, possibly 2, while you check on them every 15 minutes or so. Don't take any guff about how they shouldn't have to watch their little sibling, you are a family and as such everyone has a responsibility to look out for everyone else - that's the way family works. Tell them being any other way is selfish.

Tell your boyfriend you need a break 2-3 times a week. Go for a walk, join a gym, have coffee with a friend. Like I said, he can get out, or help out. And above all else, GO BACK TO SCHOOL! The longer you draw it out, the more you endanger your future job prospects. You can undo the damage you've done by taking one semester off, but two will look very bad on a resumé.

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

Answer 3

For your 2 year old unlocking the door and getting outside, buy a chain lock to put up on the top of your door where he can not reach.

You need to make sure that your 3 kids know you are the boss of the house and not them.

Put them in time outs if they are not listening. They say for how old they are is how long you make them stay in time out.

Give them an award chart for every chore they do around the house and this should get them cleaning. If they do nothing then take stuff away from them.

I would sit down and have a serious talk with your boyfriend about playing PlayStation and not helping out.

I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 4

I think the most negative factor in the equation is your bf! He is lazy and irresponsible and he is dragging you with him.Kids will always be kids and you can treat them as adults. Punishment should be used and even some spanking for the boys but not the girls. Though you only have 2 more semesters I would advise you to take a break for one semester. Take the time do observe everything you and everyone else is doing and think of solutions for problems. Start testing the solutions and see what works. Also, when you feel that you are in despair, pray!

Answer 5

First of all, you can buy special fittings for the door knob that keep little kids in. Tell the sassy one you don't want to talk to her if she's going to act like that, same with the 7-year-old. Also, restrict privileges for boys who don't do their chores (including boyfriend). Relax on the housework. No one cares if your tub's dirty for a day while you relax. Really, of all your problems, the housework is the easiest to deal with. Buy 3 baskets and use them to throw the kids' stuff into. If they won't put it away, just empty it out in their room. "There'll be time for cleaning and cooking. Children grow up while you're not looking." If the bf isn't helping, toss his a**. Focus on the kids, school, job - in that order.

Answer 6

Don't be afraid to ask for help. Mom, Dad, girlfriend whomever you can to assist you when you need some time to get the housework done. Grandparents in my opinion are the best teachers on respect and family values so they may be able to get through to your daughter who has the smart mouth. It's a tough job being a mom and doing things outside of the home. But just remember it takes a village to raise a child

Answer 7

Seriously, go to the doctor and ask him to prescribe you some medicine for dealing with stress. It won't make your problems go away, but you will be able to handle them better. It usually takes about 2 weeks for the medicine to take effect. Then prioritize the things that are the most important in your life. Some things may have to be let go. I was in a similar situation this spring. We suffered the worst winter drought on record. My income from my farm dropped $20,000 from the previous year. Taking the medicine and prioritizing helped me get through it. I will pray for you.

Answer 8

First unplug the playstation (better yet hide it - preferably at another friends home) and demand some help. And you are stressed, tired, and everything is getting on your nerves right now. Time for a "mommy strike". Take one day and revive, and maybe you can look at things in a new light. I do this about once a year. lol.

Answer 9

i volenteered in a day care center so this should work........u should set some rules up maybe if he runs out the door then you should say "if your going to do that then something gets taken away" and he WILL stop.......and dont let ur 8 y.o. talk back to you cuz no one needs that..........and if ur 7 y.o. is lazy then set up an activity for the whole family cuz u, ur hubby, 8,7,2, will all love it!.........i hope this helps..............good luck with your search for help

Answer 10

You need some ground rules in your household to reduce the chaos. And be strict about enforcing. Use a reward system. If they don't follow the rules, there aren't any benefits.