Willys cynical thought for the fugging day,
If you'll come to my funeral I'll freaking go to yours!
MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."
STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."
BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?
SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."
Dian (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"
MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"
CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"
JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"
TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for awhile and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"
The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) Leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
2006-08-30 01:24:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
From; Willys Jokes archives!
2006-08-30 01:25:30 · update #1
Willy..you always make my day with your collection of funny stories and humorous observations. Don't tell myhusband, but I love you.
2006-08-31 06:36:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty good....try this one...
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his
employees about an urgent problem with one of the main
computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number
and was greeted with a child's whisper.
"Hello."
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes" whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the boss asked.
"No." the child whispered.
Suprised, and wanting to talk with an adult the boss
asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes" the child whispered.
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a
message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "A Policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's
home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the
Policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?" the boss asked.
"Talking to Mommy and Daddy and the Fireman," came the
whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what
sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the
phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A Hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"What's going on there?" asked the boss, now truely
alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered. "The
search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned and even more than just a little
frustrated, the boss asked. "What are they searching
for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a
muffled giggle:
"ME."
2006-08-30 08:33:09 · answer #2 · answered by rahkokwee 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When my daughter was 3, I started dating the man that is my current husband (19 years in November!!). After we had been dating for almost a year we were in the grocery store picking up a few items for a cookout. As we were standing at the register, my daughter loudly announces to one and all..."See this man? His name is "John"...He sleeps with my mom!" I nearly died and "John" left to go get the car.
I guess she found that fascinating since she was too young to remember my sleeping with her father...
2006-08-30 21:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by midge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the words from the mouth of the babes are enjoyable and also, some times, guide to us, the elders.
But, Don't you think, the list is bit lengthy?
2006-08-30 08:30:45 · answer #4 · answered by Electric 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've seen this one before but still hillarious. Here one to add that no one has heard, just happened yesterday!
Luke(age3) When told to put away Daddy's back scratcher said, "oh no, I have to give to Daddy, he scratches his butt with it".
2006-08-30 08:30:44 · answer #5 · answered by trouble421muah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahaha arent children hilarious?! The things that come out of their little mouths and the way they perceive what we say. Its too funny!
2006-08-30 08:30:54 · answer #6 · answered by kjpierce08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thank u 4 bringing the smile upon my face again.
2006-08-30 09:26:12 · answer #7 · answered by hi there 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. I love the things Babies say! They are precious.
2006-08-31 04:44:49 · answer #8 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha innocence of children awww lol â¥
2006-08-30 09:14:45 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very nice n innocent ....right abt right outa z mouth of babes
sooooooo cute!!
2006-08-30 08:33:56 · answer #10 · answered by ky11 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋