my 3yr old son cries all the time and it drves me mad 2?

Question

i used to spank him when he c.ried but i noticed it makes him cry more and makes me feel like an abusive and bad mother. i have started giving him time outs in his room and it works.however how many time outs can i give him in a day before they get ineffective coz i cant exactly give him 20 time outs a day.
thank you all for your advice and encouragement in the first part of the question.
i also try to always tell him what to say instaed of screaming but i think it takes time for him to get over the screaming and i will try ignore him at times

Answer 1

This may seem wacky, but your child may have a blood sugar imbalance, leading him to feel bad and unbalanced (physically - not mentally). A child that young can only express himself by crying, as he has no words or concepts for that yet.

If your parents or his father's parents have diabetes, low blood sugar, heart problems then he may have inherited them - and they could be showing up even this early. Have his doctor check him for diabetes and find out if the doctor is willing to do a fasting blood insulin test (rules out low blood sugar and pre-diabetes syndromes).

www.hufa.org has some basic information about low blood sugar, and what to do to test your toddler at home. Going on a diet that stresses eating low glycemic foods (foods low in sugar or natural sugar), as a family, might lower your stress level, too.

Answer 2

A couple of things. Is he an only child? Does he have any friends / relatives around? I think it is a bit harder if he is the only child with no other interaction with kids his own age. At that age, they tend naturally to want to play with someone and if you are the only one around - that would be you.

Time outs can work - trust me I use them. But I tend to use them only when something is done that is wrong not just for crying. I usually ignore them if they are crying for no particular need or cause. It is tough but after 20, 30 or even 40 minutes - my kids anyway will go off and play with a toy or something else.

I always try to encourage my kids to use their imagination. Drawing, legos, etc.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Spanking doesn't help when the child is young like this. They only know you are hitting them, they can't reason out why.
My kids used to whine just for attention. When they did this, I sat down with them for a few minutes and did coloring or a story and then they were fine. They ususally just want a hug or two and some eye contact.

Answer 4

You should be kind of used to continuous crying by now! :)
But seriously, when they are 3, they are seriously frustrated because they want to say stuff but don't know the words.
So, when my kids were little, i would tell them, "Listen, I don't understand cry-talk. If you want something you need to use your words". That usually shut them up, because they had to figure out how to ask for what they wanted. Don't spank him, it'll only make the situation worse.

Answer 5

You should go to your library and check out some books on parenting. It seems like your son just wants a lot of attention. Read the Nanny 911 book. It pretty much says that 'brats' (and your son probably isn't a brat) are made, not born that way. I don't have any kids, but I work with kids, and I liked that book a lot. They give some pretty great advice! :-)

Answer 6

if your son is crying all the time, take him to the doctor, its his way of telling you something is wrong, giving him time outs or spanking him is definitly a form of abuse, he'll remember it for life.....dont ever ignore him, hes communicating something is wrong, he may not feel good, i know i sound harsh, but kids scream for a reason, you can reason with a 3 year old if you just try.

Answer 7

When he starts crying, instead of getting mad, which will only make both of you more upset, get his attention focused on something else. Some ideas:

Did you see that kitty cat/puppy dog/butterfly (or something else to distract him)
Would you like to go for a walk?
Hey, can you show me how that new toy works?
Are you hungry/thirsty/tired?-at this age, they are not able to tell you themselves, but they will respond when asked
Can you hand me (anything that comes to mind)
Try whistling, gently clapping your hands, or making a funny face
Show him in little ways that you love him, without giving him negative attention, meaning do not reward him for his bad attention.

Good luck!!

Answer 8

You need to feed the child lots of protein. If he can't chew very well then cut the meat up into very small pieces. The child is either hungry or tired. Should have better nutrition. I raised my grandkids on barley formula and they cried when they were tired, so then they got a nap. The child probably doesn't know how to tell you what's wrong so feed him. Not junk food either. If you want more direction, write to me.

Answer 9

at 3 he should be able to tell you what he is crying about, instead of yelling at him or punishing him for needing something, sit down on the floor so you are at his level, give him a hug, and calmly keep asking him to use his words so you can help him, just keep repeating, that you want to helpl him, but he needs to calm down and use his words so that you know what he needs, its possible that he is over reacting when he needs something because he thinks he is coming to get ignored instead of helped and its overwhelming him, now the two of you are in a downward spiral,

Answer 10

When my son starts to cry for no reason I tell him to go to his room b/c I don't want to hear it and he can come out as soon as he's done whinning... He's usually in there only for 2 or 3 mins. at the most.