A guy asked me to go out with some of his coworkers. All night he asked me personal questions about my life, my likes etc....I was told he was interested and his coworker said he always talks about me. Anyway he asked me directly about if I had a lot of boyfriends and I said no I just got out of a long term relationship. Right after that he told me he thought I was controlling, he didn't go out with controlling girls and started talking about being a free spirit....A week later he called me, we talked for several hours and he told me about his life and then told me that if the right girl came around he would like to settle down. I asked him why he told me I was controlling that night and he said, I don't know it was just something I said. I told him it sort of hurt and he still wouldn't tell me why. Why do guys act like they are interested and then say something like that and then when asked not even explain what they mean?
2006-08-29 23:49:44 · 13 answers · asked by shar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't generalize, not all guys do this. People often say stupid things in situations where they feel uncomfortable. Being with a new Boy/girl-friend for the first time is stressful for anyone. Guys are no exception even though they like to pretend that nothing bothers them. Some handle it well others do not.
Don't judge a book by the first page. If you like him otherwise give him an opportunity to get to know you a little better. If he continues to act in this manner, I would back off. He may have more problems than you will want to deal with. It could be just a stupid comment, or he could be projecting presumptions that he has about women on to you. The former you can live with. We all do dumb thing occasionally. The later is a far bigger problem and it would be a lot harder to change, and far harder to live with.
Take care of yourself.
Love and blessings
don
2006-08-30 00:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its called neg theroy honey.Guys sendmixed signals and also neg girls so tht they go into the mindset tht they have to get validation from this guy.
When this heppens girls start livin in the reality of the guy ,and guy controls the relationship and the gal.
Wht he did is actually stole ur frame ,he neged u made u belive tht u really wanna be with him and if u wanna be with him u have to make some real efforts to make him yours.
So change ur mindset toward this guy take the control back if he negs u neg him if he says ur very controlling u shud say "thn u must consider not haging out with me cos im very influntial and contollin".Neg him back critisize him for something.STOP CARING BOUT WHT HE SAYS .AND ULL GET UR FRAME BACK .COS HE WILL REALISE THT HIS GAMES ARE NOT GONNA WORK ON U.
AND THE SIT BACK AND REALAX SAY "YEAH"
COS NOW U HAVE ALL THE CONTROL
2006-08-30 07:05:09 · answer #2 · answered by i_know_style 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea why, But he sounds like a head case anyway i wouldn't worry about it. To much drama already for the first date move on and find someone a little more open and straight forward and forget about him before you get to hooked on him..
2006-08-30 07:10:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they're interested and they expect you to change for him. try to get him to clarify with you about being controlling, and how important it is to you, which from the way i see it i think he would. and if he has good reasons why, maybe u can start considering if there's a need to change urself upon his comments. he's definitely interested in you i can see, but he has this expectation and he's only letting you know. now u've got a decision to make... whether if you'd change yourself for this guy?
2006-08-30 06:59:35 · answer #4 · answered by Miss_Perfect 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well as i guy i beleive we have a disease called foot in mouth its qiut common among the younger males but in time we find the right medication that helps us to controll it or in some cases get rid of it its called maturity not many men find it and they are headed for a life of uncertianties but to those of us who find it we find bliss and love . some guys are just like that
2006-08-30 06:59:44 · answer #5 · answered by gasmanrolle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The female's are always good in describing their thoughts, liking, and even about others they know, but men cant describe their thought, they don't have arrenged ideas to express, so they say anything without thinking.
2006-08-30 07:00:24 · answer #6 · answered by Ashok 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to make it seem like they are not really interested. This way they don't look like fools if we shoot them down. It's all about the male ego. But he is obviously interested if he called you again..looks like its your move
2006-08-30 06:53:48 · answer #7 · answered by shelshe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At first date everyone is confused , you and him , so if you like him , don't stop at every word he says , try to relax and make him relax .
I wish you all the best .
2006-08-30 07:16:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is confused & unsure with a shopping list. labelling you to a category & checking his options. man at peace & sure of himself & respect others (you) would act different. peace, lady
2006-08-30 06:57:26 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably the fact you said "long term"
some of us guys don't really like the words: long term, marriage, forever together....etc
2006-08-30 06:54:52 · answer #10 · answered by mr.m 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋