2006-08-29 23:13:49 · 13 answers · asked by Karma 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Tarzan and the animals went to the river to have a bath. When Tarzan took his clothes off, all the animals laughed. Tarzan asked why. The animals said : ur tail is in front!!
2006-08-29 23:36:08 · answer #1 · answered by shoosh_b 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
An indian a cowboy and a blonde man are lost in the woods. They need some food so the indian leaves and comes back with a deer. The other two ask where did he get it. He says "Me see tracks, me follow tracks, me catch deer." The cowboy then goes and catches a deer also. The other two ask where did he get it. He says "Me see tracks me follow tracks me catch deer." So then the blonde goes and the next day he comes back all bloodied and bruised. The other two asked what happened. He says "Me see tracks me follow tracks, me get hit by train.
2006-08-30 11:55:42 · answer #2 · answered by Paradox3883 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there were two aples on a counter one aplee said hello then the other aplle says oh mi gosh its a talking apple and withered away(no apples were hurt in the following joke)
2006-08-30 07:36:31 · answer #3 · answered by samy b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The shortest joke that i remember is that two sirdarjis playing chess
2006-08-30 06:16:36 · answer #4 · answered by Practical 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's the difference between a peeping tom and a pic-pocket? Answer: One snatches watches while the other watches snatches
2006-08-30 06:22:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shortly after President Bush took office, an old man approached the White House from the park across Pennsylvania Ave where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton."
The marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here."
The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton."
The marine again told the man, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here."
The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton."
The marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Clinton. I've told you already that Mr. Clinton is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"
The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir!"
OR
LORENA BOBBITT'S SISTER ARRESTED
API - Clearwater Florida - Lorena Bobbitt's sister Luella was arrested yesterday for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena. She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition.
Luella has been charged with one count of a misdewiener.
OR
At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction!
OR
For those of you who watch what you eat... Here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
OR
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red spot on their foreheads. We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their religion. The true story has recently been revealed by the Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C.
When one of these women gets married, she brings with her, a dowry. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the red spot to see if he has won either a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in the United States.
Just thought you would like to know.
OR
What with all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went un-noticed last week.
Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey," died peacefully aged 83. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.
They put his left leg in - and things just started to go downhill from there
just a few to be going on with...........
2006-08-30 07:10:10 · answer #6 · answered by a_shy_spirit 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Q When do the Chinese say GOOD MORNING
A When they learn English
2006-08-30 06:38:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: What has 2 legs and bleeds alot?
A: Half a cat!
2006-08-30 06:16:54 · answer #8 · answered by eyesinthedarkness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, but i thought the custom here was to tell your own joke, and ask everyone to rate it, then leave their own.
2006-08-30 06:17:07 · answer #9 · answered by bakbiter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Cause he's a chicken.
2006-08-30 06:16:26 · answer #10 · answered by Windseeker_1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋