How do I get my bf to really make a commitment?

Question

We have a great relationship enjoy doing things together and spend almost everyday together. But he's afraid that things will change if we live together. How do I show him things will only get better? I love him so much and know he's the only man that I want in my life forever.

Answer 1

Give him time and let him see your love for him is true.Always reminds him the best thing that couples have when they stay together.Dont rushed him so much that will make him turn u down.At the moment just njoys the relationship first.GoodLuck!~

Answer 2

First, you don't say how long you've dated. Anything less than a year is too short to even consider living with someone. Then ask yourself what your motivations are for wanting to live together. If they aren't financial, or based on insecurity and you're really tired of wating for him to make up his mind, tell him you either expect the relationship to progress toward living together and marriage, or you're going to look for someone who will.

Give him a time frame that's reasonable (like 6 months) and stick to what you say.

Answer 3

Living together isn't the answer. Trust me, I've been there. I felt the same way and lived with my ex-guy for 5 years, and he still didn't make a commitement to me. I felt used and un-loved. Maybe you should take a step back, stop bugging him about this situation and see what happens. You'll soon see what his real feelings are about the relationship.

Answer 4

Why don't you just try it for once, if you have that kind of relationship with each other then everything will be OK. You convince him to try it. Tell him that it is time for you to take the next step. Love is strong , it can front every difficulty, things may change around you, but if that feeling remains the same, then theres nothing to be afraid of , no change outside will affect your relationship.

Answer 5

Dont give ultimatum, just ask the simplest question while you both relaxing and talking about past events. Say hey

Answer 6

Only live with him if you want to ruin your relationship.since he seems reluctant its possible that he may have a deep seated beleif that living together is wrong.I can guarantee if you live with him your chances of getting married decrease.Living together is not a commitment.If he dies you have no rights and Its just a bad idea.Try spending some time apart get really busy see if he misses you and take it slow its going to take some time.dont smother him.Why not date a year or more and just see how things go/

Answer 7

talk less about it. then once a while, like in a week or 2, try spending a day or two living with him and see how it works. then later on, talk about it and remind him that things were good when you were around. just try this, cos i'm out of ideas for now!

Answer 8

Obvioulsy he doesn't feel the same and there is a big difference between living with someone and spending ever WAKING min. with them. It really doesn't always work and if he's not ready hes not ready respect him enough to except that!

Answer 9

If you're really intent on making this happen, I suppose you could use the horse trainer approach.

- Your boyfriend is the wild horse
- You're the horse trainer
- Living in the apartment is the saddle

Wild horses don't like saddles. Your boyfriend, like a wild horse, doesn't like the idea of living together because he fears that it will come with some unforeseen negative side effects.

Wild horses don't want saddles on them because it's a foreign object being placed on them, and they don't understand why it's going to be on their back and what it means.

Technically, you're the same thing trying to tame a wild horse. Whether the wild horse once tamed will enjoy being ridden and having a bit in his mouth is another story. It runs parallel to you finally getting that "bit" in your boyfriend's mouth.

Just like a Horse Trainer, the key is to get your boyfriend used to the idea. It starts with little things where you leave some of your personal belongings at his place when you sleep over. Get used to wearing his shirts or borrowing his clothes so that you start mingling your things with his.

If you do it right and where you're subtle, your boyfriend won't "spook" like a wild horse would. He's not stupid and will probably be watching you carefully and be skittish. However, just like trainers approaching horses, you move very slow and don't make any sudden or rash moves.

The same thing goes with you where you have to go really slow and make this a gradual thing. If you get overly anxious and try to rush it, you'll spook your boyfriend and he'll start backpedaling and it will backfire.

If you watched the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," there's the scene where Ben is washing his face in the bathroom when he notices the Pink Towels and then all the feminine hygeine products that Andie had slipped into his medicine cabinet causing him to freak out.

You don't want that to happen between you and your boyfriend when you're slowly easing him into it.

This process is where you start doing things around his living space such as cooking or preparing meals for him. Getting him his bottled water, etc.

It sounds subservient and where it's making you like a Domestic House Slave, but since he's the one who stated he doesn't want to have you two living together, that's the risk you have to take if you want to move in that direction.

Just be careful that you're not bending over backward too much where you put yourself in a bad position later on in the relationship where he's going to expect you to do all these things for him in the way that you pampered him and did things for him during this "training process" of getting him used to the two of you living together.

If you watched the movie "Fantastic Four," you see how Susan Storm and Reed Richards broke up because Susan wanted to move in with him, but Reed didn't. So Susan left him.

Do all kinds of things to slowly move into his turf and where you have reasons to sleep over or just hang out at his place. Leaving your clothes, some shampoo bottles and conditioner, etc. is one way to go about it.

You could try the direct approach and ask him what he's afraid of, but some men don't like being cornered and made to ask questions like that.

If you're skilled in the art of communication, you could probably get that information out of him if you ask the right questions in order to diagnose why he feels living with the significant other feels it will jinx the relationship.

Does it stem from his parents? Was there someone close to him whom he had a relationship with in the past whom he cared about and where he got burned? Is your BF suffering from Post Traumatic Syndrome from watching "Wedding Crashers" with that Psycho Chick that Vince Vaughn met at the wedding that latches onto him with your BF thinking it could happen to him as well?

If you can pinpoint why he feels that way, you can try allaying his fears and showing him that it won't be that way and his fears are either non-existent or blown out of proportion.

Answer 10

Maybe he's got insecurities in his life, try to find out what they really are.or maybe he does not share the same feelings as you.he might be holding out for something else.