Why is sex for me so painful?

Question

I've tried to have sex like five times, and when he gets in, it feels like i'm dying. I don't bleed or anything, it just feels like i'm being stabbed "there". He's been in all the way almost, and it still hurts no matter if its a centimeter or a few inches. We've used lube before to see if it was just not enough lubrication, and that didn't really help. I went to the doctor and she found nothing and just sent me off. I took pills to fix anything thats wrong down there, and it worked for two weeks and its back. It hurts when ANYTHING goes inside me. I don't know what to do anymore. How do I fix this?

Um, okay, response to those who gave me a response just now. He goes slow, and as slow as I want, and I love him and I know he loves me, so it's not that. No, I'm not giving up, wtf. And I don't want people giving me stupid answers like "have sex with me" thanks.

Thank you for the answers. Um, well, one time I was completely wasted, and that was the first time I tried, and it still hurt extremely bad lol. Um, I went to the doctor and she took a sample from inside and took it to a lab and said nothing was wrong with it. The doctor said I can't keep taking pills for the rest of my life, even though they helped, and I saw my primary doctor, not a gyn. But if they can't find anything, how am I supposed to find the problem? :\ Some days I have symptoms of some infections and such, and then a week later for days and days, they're all gone. So, I have no idea.

Answer 1

seek another doctor---the first one didnt listen to you

Answer 2

To me it almost sounds as if your to tense and you may just need more foreplay to help you relax enough so that it won't be painful. Or see if he could give you a nice long and sensuous massage that'll help you to also relax a bit. If you've only had sex 5 times with the same person, the problem could be that your just not quite used to having sex and it takes a while after losing your virginity till it doesn't hurt anymore. It's nothing to do with enough lube or anything around that time it just means your body has to adjust and learn to relax so that you can enjoy the ride so to speak. If after you've tried to have sex a total I'd say of maybe 10 - 12 times and it's still too painful for you I'd seek advise from a sex therapist or another OB/GYN. For now just try to relax as much as possible and encourage him to engage in more foreplay so as to try to get muscles relaxed enough for penetration and then there may be less pain. As you've had sex for more times it get easier and the pain lessens. I personaly have experinaced pain for the first 5 or more times I had sex after I lost my virginity and of course there was no blood and the doctors couldn't find anything wrong either. So hopefully you'll find some relife as yeah I can remember how painful it was those first few times. *hugs*

Answer 3

There are lots of reasons why sex may become painful - even when the problem has been sorted out it can take a long time before sex becomes enjoyable again. You definitely need help from your doctor for this symptom - it's not something you can sort out on your own.

Before you see your doctor, try to be clear in your mind whether the pain occurs:

when your partner attempts to put his penis into your vagina (superficial pain)
when the erect penis is fully inserted and during thrusting (deep pain)
in the hours after sex.

Infections, such as thrush or herpes, make the vulva (lips round the opening of the vagina) sore. Vaginal discharge causes chaffing of the skin, which makes the problem worse.

Blocked Bartholin's glands. Bartholin's glands are just inside the opening of the vagina, one on each side. They help produce lubrication for sex. If the opening of a Bartholin's gland becomes blocked, it swells up into a cyst. Bacteria may enter the cyst, turning it into a painful abscess.

Skin irritants such as perfumed soaps, bubble baths, biological (which means that they contain enzymes) washing powders, 'intimate' deodorants and spermicides can all make the vulva sore.

When sex causes pain deep inside

Pelvic inflammatory disease is an infection of the Fallopian tubes (the tubes, one each side, that carry the egg from the ovaries to the uterus). These tubes lie close to the top of the vagina, so sex causes a deep pain.

Endometriosis is a peculiar condition, in which some of the tissue that normally lines the uterus (sometimes called the womb) lies outside the uterus, in the pelvic cavity. No one knows why it occurs, though it seems to be quite common. Many women have no symptoms from it, but if the tissue is lying behind the uterus it can cause painful sex, especially on deep thrusting. A sign of endometriosis is bad period pains - especially if they last throughout the period.

Pelvic pain syndrome. For two out of every three women with deep pain during sex, no cause can be found; you may have to accept that you have pelvic pain syndrome. This syndrome is not fully understood, but it is related to stress. One possible, but not proven, explanation is that, in some women, chronic stress alters the flow of blood in the veins of the pelvis, so that the pelvis becomes congested. If you are easily aroused during sex, but have difficulty reaching orgasm, the problem becomes worse because the pelvic congestion is not relieved. You may then experience a pain that persists after sex for some hours.

Lack of arousal. Intercourse will be uncomfortable if penetration occurs before you are aroused. This is partly because of lack of lubrication, but also because with sexual arousal the upper part of the vagina balloons open. This helps to lift the womb up and away from the thrusts of the penis. If penetration occurs too early, there may be a pain or discomfort felt deep in the middle of the pelvis with each thrust.

Other causes include irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and cystitis - the bladder and bowel both lie close to the vagina.

Answer 4

Did the doctor do any tests? Lube is a start, certainly, but do you have foreplay? You said you took pills to fix and it's back so maybe there is an infection that needs another round of medicine. Go see another doctor, and tell them what medicine you were given, and ask them to do a few tests for STDs.

Answer 5

Hey Girl the reason it hurts alot is your not use to having sex it hurt me for the first week or so.
and the Infections you might be allergic to the condom I allergic to the Purple Trojans I don't Know why but I am I really Hope this helps and if you want anymore Info Write ME k

Answer 6

You may be experiencing pain due to the stress you are under. There is a clinical name for it--but it's long and complicated, and it means that you are reacting to the pain of the past and keep feeling it now. Sometimes, the vagina seizes (vaginitus? I think it's called?) and it is somewhat like your vagina having a fit over the experience. Most sex therapists suggest that you use a tiny vibrator and gradually increase sizes until you are relaxed and comfortable with having something inside.

Don't rush yourself or beat yourself up over this. Be patient, try and relax.

Answer 7

Did you see your primary care physician or an OB/GYN specialist? There are rare conditions where women regularly feel pain during intercourse, but there are also treatment plans for it. I would definitely follow up with an OB doc and get a second opinion... it's supposed to feel GOOD!!

Answer 8

need to relax, spend more time on foreplay (absolute minimum of 40 mins), get real wet, take control, your guy'll love it but importantly it'll give you control over whats happening which will relax you more too, it does get easier.
my missus has a tough hymen which can make it a little uncomfortable.
try a different position too, you may not like the idea of doggie but it opens you up and is alot more comfortable, my wench's fav pos
might be something as simple as thrush

Answer 9

hi, I had the same problem, then i went to hospoital and had a laproscopy, ended up having endemetriosis, have a look on the net about this...keep going to the docters, the only reason they send you away is because lots of girls moan about this and theres nothing wrong, but if its this painful all the time, keep going and complaining or go to the hospital to a and e.just be persistant in going until they sort it for you...good luck

Answer 10

The problem I can see here is that you did not have complete arousal or foreplay.That may result to u not enjoying it!!! Help to guide your partner well to show him that you needed more pleasure from him.If you had used other items to help out..mayb you should try to stop and focus on making yourself enjoy it rather than straight letting him into you.Take care.

Answer 11

I used to have that problem many years ago... until I had started going to the chiropractor for another issue, and discovered that the pain had cleared up, along with many other things I never related to my spine.

Now sex couldn't be better!