my aunt died and i feel guilty?

Question

the last ime i saw my aunt was on january 1st 2006
on the 9th of january the police called my house and said my aunt got into a bad bad car accidant and was dead ..and know i feel really bad because the morning before she died she called and i didnt pick up the phone because i figured she was just gonna ask for my mom and she wasnt home....another thing is the last day i ever saw her i was mad at her because she shut my phone off for good ...now i just dont feel at peace because of all of that and plus i never got to see her in the coffin because her face was really bad and i loved my aunt more then anything in the world and ill never forget her...But did anyone go threw somthing like this???and how did you handle it?? thank you so much

Answer 1

You have to remember that it's not your fault. People get into small quarrels and trivial things like that on a day to day basis. It is horrible that you lost your aunt, but I guarentee if you think about how she remembers and thinks of you whereve you believe she has gone to, you'll know that she remembers all the good between you two. Don't focus on the last, focus on the entire relationship you had with her!

Just celebrate her life and how wonderful it was to know her... from the way you speak of her, I could probably guarentee she wouldn't want you to feel any guilt.

Good luck and I hope you feel better. Feel how she would want you to.

Answer 2

My dad called me the day before he died, (he never did) but i couldnt hear him cause hes jaw was swollen from a toothache, and i had an ear infection, i kept saying I couldnt hear him, and so he put my mom on the phone. The next night my bro called me to say that he'd passes away at the dentist. The last time I saw him was at my uncles funeral the day before.

The point is its never too late to say goodbye. Im sure your aunts in heaven looking down on you. Just tell her how you feel. Im sure she doesnt like seeing you in pain, and im sure she knowsd how much you love her. Sometimes it helps to go somewhere special to you two. Also theres a ceremony ive heard that might help you. You get a ballon, and go out somewhere just you, and say the things you have to say, and promise both of you and her to let go of your pain, and to focous on the goodtimes you had. And then release the ballon.

And know that if you had picked up the phone, that she was prob just calling for your mom, and you would have just said hi, no shes not here, ill tell her you called love you bye. Or something along those lines. And for not seeing her in her coffin, be gratefull. Even open caskets, they never look the same as they did. Sometimes its even more painfull, cause it doesnt look like them. I think its just a way for people to see that the person is really gone.

If you cant release your pain, consider a support group, or grief counselor. Your pain is normal Good Luck

Answer 3

When I was 12 years old I lived with my grandmother and her boyfriend. She was my best friend in the whole world, the greatest woman in the world...and unfortunately he was a jerk. He was mean to me alot and didn't really like the relationship me and my grandmother had. He just wasn't a kid person. On the night of January 30, 1990 I went to bed and prayed to God to make him die. I was tired of his meanness. The next afternoon i came home from school to only have 2 officers come to the door an hour later and tell me they had been crossing a set of railroad tracks and were struck by a train. They were both gone. I have continued to hold the guilt of this for 16 years now. I believe that God granted my wish and taught me a lesson also by taking her away too. After the fact at his funeral, I will never forget realizing that even though we totally didn't like each other...I still truly loved the man. Becareful what you wish for!!! But anyway...in all honesty if you talk to anyone who has lost a loved one, most of them will carry some form of guilt for something they did or did not do.

Answer 4

It's hard to lose someone you care about, and you shouldn't feel guilty....I am sure there are alot of people who have had an arguement with someone, or didn't call, or pick up the phone, and something bad happened to them. It was just an unfortunate event that caused your aunt to pass away, and everyone has had a moment,"if I just would have........" Everyone!! you didn't get to say good-bye, and that hurts I know, I didn't get to with my mother. It will take some time to get over, don't be so hard on yourself, your aunt wouldn't want you to do that I'm sure. Take Care

Answer 5

The last time I saw my Fatther alive I was so embarassed by the way he acted that I could hardly wait until he left. He died at his mother's house two weeks later. The year before, my Dad was in a horrible car accident. He had a heart attack at the wheel of his car just as he started across a busy highway. He was injured very badly, and he never fully recovered. One of the things that was wrong with him was a blood clot on the brain, which caused him not to be able to distinguish between reality and unreality. This made being with him difficult, because we never knew when he would be lucid. Most of the time he rambled on about crazy stuff. I had just gotten married, and was embarassed for my in-laws to see my Dad that way. When I found out he died, I was devestated, especially because of the way I had just treated him. But I found out that all he remembered and told everyone about his visit with me was the news that I was pregnant with his first grandchild. They all said he was so happy about it. I hung on to that memory every time I started accusing myself. He didn't remeber me dissing him; he only remembered that I had made him happy. It was probably something like that with your aunt. Sure, you had disagreements, and got mad at one another, but she always knew you loved her, just as I am sure you know she loved you. Hang onto the love. The rest just isn't that important.

Answer 6

You didn't do anything that wrong to be beating yourself up about.....It wasn't anything major..maybe to you but not to your aunt. So quit kicking your self about it..Everything will be fine..Your aunt still loves you and you love her..Nothing can take that away from either of you.Not even a shut off cell phone..Lighten up and remember the good memories ok?

Answer 7

Your aunt loved you to I'm sure so the best thing you can do to honor her is to become someone she would be proud of, I know it's hard but don't dwell on the negative replace those thoughts with memory's of the good times you shared. and most of all learn from this and always do your best to treat the ones you love as well.

Answer 8

dont feel guilty about it It does not sound like its your fault u didnt cause the accident by you not answering the phone has nothing to do with her getting getting in a car accident good luck and take care

Answer 9

the night before my mother died in a car crash i had a dream about it, but i never told her, and it has haunted me since that day, i was never allowed to see her because my family knew it would destroy me, i dont know how i got over it, i just managed some how, after i tried to hang myself with a belt, but dont do that its not worth it, you will work it out in your head, and you prolly will never forget the guilt, but there is nothing you can do

Answer 10

Sorry about your lost. Stop feeling guilty, it was really her time to leave earth. Just sad that something like that had to happen between you & her. You've to move on and learn to appreciate people more coz we'll never know if it's already our last time to talk to them again. :)