Why are today's parents so weak with their kids?

Question

So many question come to this site with whining parents about drug addicted, sexually active, defiant children. I am only in my 30's, but I think that today's parents have become snivelling weaklings. I do not let my children walk over over me...they do not talk back, curse, have sex, do drugs, or disrespect anyone in any way. Have parents lost control in today's societies? What are YOU doing as a parent to gain this lost control? Or are you all in fear of being condoned as a child abuser?

Answer 1

I agree with you 100%. I am a child of your generation too, and seeing the paradigm shift in just a decade is crazy. I mean, back when I was small, teachers, neighbors, relatives and even my mother's friends would reprimand me if I was caught doing something mischevious. Nowadays, kids have no respect for adults, and they think everything in this world is supposed to be handed to them on a platinum platter. Then, when I'm out in public, and I'm firm with my son, you should see the looks I get. It's like people are looking is disbeleif that I tell him NO he cannot have something out of the market. What the hell? When did kids become adults, and decision makers of a household? Hello??? That's why WE are the parents. WE are supposed to be guiding them and giving them instruction so that when they do come to maintain their own household and are out on their own, they will make good decisions and have a good foundation. In my humble opinion, being a big kid instead of their parent is only detrimental to a child. See, these are the people that end up with 11 year olds slapping them in the face and throwing knives at them because they instructed the child to clean her room. It's just a sad, sad world. I totally agree with you.

Answer 2

If you want an honest answer, it's the system. CYF [Children Youth & Family] and CPS [Child Protective Services] are to blame for a lot of this. When a kid can say, "Hit me and I'll call CPS", that does give them a certain power. My retort, if I were to ever hear those words would be simple.

"Make the call and see where you end up. No bedroom of your own, no computer, no DirectTV, no peanut butter sandwiches at ten o'clock at night ..."

Parents are scared to tell their kids no. If they never hear that word when they are young then they will never having the coping skills to get through life. Most are spoiled, some are deprived of attention. If you don't have the time to raise a kid then invest in some good birth control.

But that's just my take on things LOL

Answer 3

I am the boss in my house and the kids know it. They have respect, well mannered(most of the time) and never ever talk back hit or swear at me or others. My kids are happy confident kids. I always make sure I am consistent. If I say a punishment will happen for misbehaviour they Know I will do it. You do not need to beat a child (an occasional smack can do wonders ...A smack not 2 or 3) to make them well behaved. I think too many parents feel guilt for working and want to be their kids friend first parent second. Always be the parent first friend second

Answer 4

i think most parents are more afraid of having CPS called on them for disciplining their children. society as a whole is allowing this fear to manifest by using the term "child abuse" about anything! it's gotten to the point where it is ridiculous. now yes, the parents still need to make sure their own children behave... but in this day and age it is getting harder and harder to do that without the fear of CPS.
my child will be turning 1 in a few days, so behavior isn't so much of an issue right now (that, and i'm really lucky so far with a good child). i helped out a lot with my niece (who is now 11) though. it's sad (but funny to me since it's basically just biting my sister), but she will listen to me the 1st time i tell her something without raising my voice at her or anything. her mother can yell and yell and my niece will just ignore her. i know part of that is that you are not the parent, but another thing i see lacking in parents which leads to undisciplined kids is inconsistant discipline. one day it's bad to do something, the next day the parent doesn't really care. it's confusing to the child.

now here is something that you may not agree with, but my family is living proof of it. IT IS NOT ALWAYS THE PARENTS FAULT! my mom had 3 girls. the oldest was standard rebellion of drinking in high school, but nothing too bad. the middle child was full scale - drugs, sex, drinking, running away, pregnant at 16, (which is why i kinda chuckle when her daughter won't listen... the mother's curse you know.). and then there was me... i did one major party where everyone got drunk, but semi-responsibly (i was key master and everyone was afraid of pissing me off, but no parents - obviously). besides that, i didn't really do anything bad until i was 18. so sometimes it's just the kid. my husband's family is very similar, with him as the really bad one... so it may normally be the parents, but not always. just keep that in mind.

Answer 5

I agree. I am in my twenties but my parents were strict with my sister and I and the children I went to school with and played with their parents were also very strict also. If we did not say ma'am or sir, or thank you , or your welcome we were in VERY big trouble. If we slammed a door in the house we had to open and close it at least 50 times until we learned how to properly close a door, if we ever back talked a parent I would not want to know what would of happened. Kids now days are BAD (not all) maybe with inflation(prices up parents have to work more) and the rise of single parents, etc. parents do not have the time to reprimand and also since they do not have the time maybe they make up for it by being overly sweet. If that makes any sense. Also this society is based on INSTANT GRATIFICATION! With all this technology people want things NOW.

I do find children now to be extremely rude and obnoxious, now I have met some very well behaved, mannered children also.

In New Orleans (where I live) they have kindergardeners hopping fences and skipping out of school. CRAZY!!

Answer 6

Well the government and the states have ruined the parent's rights to be parents. Now days if you spank your children or speak to them in harsh manner or correct them in public you have to deal with society and the department of human services. Been there and done that it is not fun to have your family life scattered over town and gone throught for a small correction of your child. Talk to your government about it !!!!

Answer 7

way to tell it like it is. Its nice to read a comment that asked why as parents do we allow such behavior. I have a son who is going through changes of life, but we all do at 19. While raising him we got along very good, he respected people, didn't have a drug problem, bad mouth me, swear at me, sure he was a kid and would push everything as far as he could but he always knew were the line was. Great question, and comments. Thank you :)

Answer 8

I totally agree on you with this.It pisses me off.I was raised- respect and be respected. But todays youth and the parents who do nothing are numbered to many. I waited till now to have my first child (I am 27) and will teach my son the same values I was taught. For what is the point to have a child and not actually raise him or her to be a productive member if society?

Answer 9

The problem is in today society child abuse can be literaly translated in displining your child, so you spanking your child could land you in jail. Children need to be taught to behave but you look at all the violence on tv, drug use on tv and movies, who are the children going to emulate, what they see, so its not the parents fault really but our how society in the values we are showing now.

Answer 10

I blame the shrinks. In the 80's, they told everyone to do what feels good to you. "if you are not happy in that marriage, then you should leave it" People are so used to giving in to easy choices that they fold when tough choices are to be made.
I don't reason with my children. I set the boundaries. I explain why the boundaries are there. And I enforce the punishment when the boundaries are crossed. Then. we discuss it to find out why they did it. And to make sure it doesn't happen again.