Poorly Translated Hong Kong Movie Subtitles, Anyone?

Question

This is supposedly a list of actual English subtitles used on films made in Hong Kong:

1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

3. Gun wounds again?

4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.

8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.

11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

12. You daring lousy guy.

13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!

14. I have been scared s-h-i-tless too much lately.

15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!

16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?

19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat.

20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination.

21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some a-s-s of the giant lizard person.

Answer 1

those are funny!
Today in French we were talking about wrong translations! Some sounded a lot like those.

Answer 2

I don't know about them, but...here's some Jewish movies you may have missed

1. GONIF WITH THE WIND
A thief tries to acquire ownership of Tara through a forged deed.
2. THE PUTZMAN RINGS TWICE
A Mohel murder mystery.
3. THE GOOD, THE CHABAD, AND THE UGLY
A kosher noodle western.
4. MOBY DRECK
Captain Ahab harpoons the wrong end of the whale.
5. THE CINCINNATI YID
Steve McQueen uses some of his poker winnings to start a reform congregation.
6. THE SEDER HOUSE RULES
Bubbie lays down the law on Pesach.
7. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KIBBITZER
Paul Newman and Robert Redford do standup shtick while they rob their victims.
8. BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER KVETCH
The extras complain that whistling the theme song dries out their mouths and hurts their lips.
9. THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LATKE
An overdone potato pancake turns into a monster.
10. THE MATZO CANDIDATE
Frank Sinatra is brainwashed into thinking that it's always Passover.
11. DRIEDELS OF THE LOST ARK
Harrison Ford plays Chanukah games.
12. ALEPH DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE
Neither the waitress nor the old Hebrew school can be found.
13. THE SIX CENTS
Three Jews each put in their two-cents worth.
14 . DREYDEL WILL ROCK
Chanukah toy comes alive.
15. GOYS DON'T CRY
Rabbi explains why only Jews observe Yom Kippur.
16. STUART LADLE
Mouse makes chicken soup for Shabbos.
17. THE GREEN MOYEL
Young man performs first circumcision.
18. GOY STORY II
Jewish man divorces shiksa, marries another.

No trees were killed in the sending of this message.
However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

Answer 3

Lol. You have to laugh on how they translate it into English. I got a kick out of it. I needed a good laugh.

Answer 4

Yeah, no offense but in a way, it does kind of sound messed up but then again funny in a way.

Answer 5

Hahaha... bad, bad translation. Funny though.

Answer 6

ha!ha! in fact they did a bad translation for my favourite detective conan series too under XCHKS

Answer 7

lost in the translation

Answer 8

lost in translation

Answer 9

haha priceless ♥

Answer 10

Your kidding me right???