How do I deal with a bratty 12 year old girl?

Question

This girl is only nice to someone when she benefits somehow, has very little respect for adults, and has to have her way all the time. Is this normal or is there something I can do. A book, website.

Answer 1

If she is your daughter, then you need to draw a firm line. Chart out a list of rules that she WILL NOT BREAK, have a talk with her so she understands you mean business. If she crosses that line spank her, she is not to old, better do it now then in a few years when it's to late.

Answer 2

She learned her behavior from her parents and friends. There isn't much that can "reprogram" her to behave properly.

What you can do is slowly teach her about what is and is not acceptable. Each time she acts out, punish her and make it stick. Take away toys, phone privileges, going out with friends, or whatever you think is right. Make sure the crime fits the punishment. Every time she acts nicely, do something nice for her. Don't EVER buy anything except for birthdays and holidays. Make the rewards something like having a friend sleep over, staying up past her bedtime on weekends, or something. The good behavior will start to come all the time because she knows that otherwise she get punished.
Make sure she speaks to you with respect "yes sir, no sir, please, thank you, excuse me...." Good manners are a start to respect. Correct her when she is rude. If she is unwilling (and she probably will be) then make her stand in front of you until she responds. Every time she says "yes" respond with "yes sir" until she repeats it. She'll learn quickly how boring it is to stand when she could be doing other things. You can't force respect, but you can encourage the behavior.
It's normal for pre-teens to try to express their independence. It's a natural part of life. However, she should have been taught properly from the start about what is good behavior and what is bad. There is no changing the past or going back, but you can go forward on a positive note.
It's up to the parents to set rules and make them stick. If you aren't the parent here, then talk to the girls mom or dad about how she acts. Tell them that you will not tolerate her disrespect and selfish behavior. They need to either get with the program and start taking responsiblity for her, or they can count you out at the next party or get together.

Answer 3

This is normal, as she has begun to differientiate herself from her family. She wants independence, and probably thinks she knows more than she actually does. When she realizes she still needs parental/ adult support, it is a reminder of her dependency on you or other adults. If she wants something, make her earn it- she wants to be independent right? Do not spoil her or reward bad behavior. When she is showing respect, find a way to show her the benefits of mutual respect. You must always give her respect, but you are the parent, and you must have consistent rules that you consistently enforce. Leave no room for misunderstanding them. After that, let her find herself. Don't try to control her because she is/ and will become her unique self.

Answer 4

Is she yours? Girls are girls, she's practicing her hormones at 12. You've got a long way to go. Yes NORMAL and it gets worse!

As for respect for adults... you have to draw a line somewhere. Mine is respect for adults, an absolute MUST. Don't give in there. You'll have to find what works in terms of discipline. I take my daughter's music away, that usually does the trick.

In the meantime, you could just try talking to her and telling her what hurts your feelings. Honesty is best and it may not sink in for awhile. My daughter is 14 and I've had the same issue since 11; she's just starting to consider other people's feelings before herself (SOMETIMES).

At 12, she's still a little girl, be patient.

Answer 5

Talk to her. Get on her level. Find that level. Read a parenting book. When she was little and being bratty, you would crouch down so you were face to face. You know what I mean. My daugher is 2, I'm not quite there yet. Just get where she is. You've been an adult for a long time...try to remember what it's like to be 12. You don't know how to communicate like an adult, you are angry, your hormones are going nuts and you don't think your parents ever knew what you are going through now. Remember? Love her, she loves you. Don't ever slap her. Don't listen to people like that. You slap your kids and you are just teaching them that communication and compromise are not needed. People that slap and hit their children for any reason are not good parents. They are doing their best and yet they still failed and resorted to violence.

Answer 6

you recognize that the reason he made up that lie is using the fact it truly is a penitentiary at your place! Granted, asserting you touch him inappropriately is uncalled for, yet you're treating him like he's two years previous! a million. very properly, WHAT confirm supplies THEIR 12 12 months previous a bathtub?!? he's going to be dealing with puberty and that's the day that it will make it very awkward for the the two one among you. 2. No ladies in his room is comprehensible. 3. He won't be in a position to ask every person over? thank you to kill is social existence. 4. "each" confirm consents with you? C'mon now... 5. No privateness...ok, how might you like your privateness taken removed from you? youngsters pick their area as much as adults. 6. No woman acquaintances? ok, how approximately no guy acquaintances for you? 7. No acquaintances till authorized by using you...ok, returned...thank you to KILL HIS SOCIAL existence! Oh, and he probable has many acquaintances you do no longer recognize approximately. 8. Getting raped or killed while going out is a stretch. 9. No cellular telephone till he's 30? ok, while he's eighteen he could make that determination on his very own... 10. basically 15 minutes pc time? ok, how approximately 15 minutes for you? Now, in the journey that your mom grew to become into like this to you, you does no longer like it now, might you? heavily, the reason he's rebelling is considering you're a administration freak lunatic who desires a severe certainty verify! Oh, an a mattress time of 8 p.m.? Wow, visit mattress at 8 and notice the style you like it. Sorry mommy, yet while he enters his youngster years it is going to get plenty worse for you.

Answer 7

YOu are the adult.. set some ground rules. Usually girls act like brats when they have been given toooo much. If you are the parent make her earn her things. Nowadays much of our youth thinks that they are the boss, because their parents have given them everything and have never placed any limits. Then they grow up, become innfluenced and start taking advantage. Dont be afraid to tell her a thing or two. And also tell her that you as a parent has rights. You can always call local authorities to take her away. This would scare her away.

What kinds of things is she doing? And is she yours??

Answer 8

when she is respective give her something, when she is being bratty take stuff away. When she is being bratty make her work. She will learn very quickly that life does not always fall to her way. Show her the way life is!! She will change quick. and when she throws a fit dont give in

Answer 9

I think that it is common for children around the age 11, 12 and teens to be bratty. They are trying to test the waters and see exactly what they can get away with. If you keep her in line and don't let her get away with things then she will know where she stands. And even though you may think you have it under control she is going to try it over and over again, but you need to stand your ground. Don't be overly strict but let her know her limits.

Answer 10

Be strict!
If she does something she knows isnt good, make sure she knows what the consequences will be and stick to them! Thats the only way for sure. Some kids can have ADD which makes them loose sight od sense. If you think it might be more than just being a brat, you should ask your physician.

Answer 11

Well...it has to be a necessary adjustment made...she'll just have to stop benefiting...stop giving her what she wants and only give what's necessary...no more gifts or presents until she appreciates having the most important things like...LIFE....having a family, a roof over her head, running water, how about food to eat and clothes to wear...she's a child...and you are in control not her...and once you remain consistant...she will begin to act differently ..I guarantee...of course continuing to be as loving as you can...and do it all with a smile...and if she ask why...tell her it's for her own good...lol...Good luck.