Who's wrong here?

Question

My GF and I planned to go on a trip last week for this weekend. She calls me today to tell me that her parents may be coming this weekend and if they do, our plans are cancelled. She didn't tell her parents we had plans this weekend. I told her I wasn't comfortable with that because we had planned this trip a week in advance and we were really looking forward to it. Now she's saying I'm insensitive since her parents don't visit often. Who's in the wrong here?

Answer 1

So her parents don't visit often.. Is this a trip that the two of you could just as well take next week or the week after that? If so I really think that 'you' should alter the plans to go around what's going on with her parents. She probably really wants to see her parents and they more than likely started talking about coming down on such and such date and that was that. Sure, she could have made you happy by telling them not to come and then wait another long while to see them, or you could just bend a little to help her out..

Answer 2

It doesn't mean either one of you are "wrong". Successful relationships involve compromise. You need to weigh the circumstances.

You've only spent a week planning (in my experience, plans always fall through anyway, so I don't even bother making them any more). Have you spent any money on airline tickets? You've got plenty of time to notify the hotel so as not to get charged.

How far away do her parents live? If they're traveling any great distance, this weekend MAY have been chosen within a difficult schedule. They're blood relatives, and only around for so long.

Were your plans for a specific event that only happens periodically, i.e., once a year? Or were they just a mini get-away for the fun of it?

Assuming it's nothing that can't be changed, you're much better off to compromise and go with the flow.

Enjoy your time together, as that what really counts!

Answer 3

Honestly, I don't see that either one of you are wrong. Yes you are disappointed that plans were cancled of a trip you were looking forward too. Your girlfriend as well was probably looking forward to it also and eger to go. However, a womans parents are special to her. I can understand her reasoning for wanting to spend time with them. I'm sure you can relate and not be so "insensitive" about the issue.

Put it this a way. Your girlfriend goes with you on the trip, she disregards her parents visit because she wants to keep you happy. What if something happens to her parents? How would you feel about yourself? Also can you just imagine what she would feel towards you and towards herself for choosing to keep you happy because you two had made plans in advance? I'm sure you can understand the position she is taking. You two can make plans for a get a way some other time, but her parents only come from time to time, please give her some time with her parents and I'm sure you and her will have all the time when they leave to be together.

Answer 4

Let it go and act like it doesn't bother you all that much. But at the same time, (if she doesn't already know) tell her it pisses you off a little, but just because you can't be with her. Don't tell her her parents are a pain in the butt. Be like: what happened? Why do they have to come this weekend?

Go with it, only because it's her parents. Next time, they better write you a memo. Tell Dad all about it, he'll understand.

This is how it goes. When Dad & Mom get there, and you've been hanging out for a couple days, grab dad and be like: dude, I was gonna take her on a vacation this weekend. Where does she like to go?

And he'll be like, sheeuut. But then he's Dad. So he doesn't give a f***. And he'll yabber on some meaningless--maybe cool--stuff about what his girl likes. Then he'll give you his blessing, kinda. He too knows this is a *****. Dads are cool like that. He understands.

Next year he'll call you and ask if it's cool to come down. You, then give him the schedule. He/they need to know they can trust you.

Don't go all out. Just be cool. Offer to pay for stuff but let him do so with some argument. Let him know that his daughter will do what she wants and you'll be there to take her to the beach, fix the deck and stuff, or whatever you do.

You gotta admit, as mush as it's a pain, if you move a little around the parents, they'll give you (and their daughter) free reign. Just let them know, and your girl, that you respect them. It's a very important thing for her.

Answer 5

I think you are being selfish, you can plan the trip some other time. If she has not seen her parents in a while I think blood is more important. Sorry, I agree with her. She is not going to put her parents on the back burner for you, would you put your parents on hold for someone else. I do not think so.. You stop being a big baby. Love is not demanding your own way.. Wish her a nice time with her parents she will respect you more for your kindness to her. Do not put a damper on her visit with her parents. That day should be happy for her, join them, have fun,, Zella

Answer 6

I can tell you the real problem on a deeper level here.

You are actually a nice guy.. a wuss bag that she can push around. Oh she knows that! and she is taking advantage of you already.

And guess what? She know you'll eat it up and not leave her.

How do you know if she is trying to own you? when you get this gut feeling of.. "ohh no, not this again."

This technique is the same sh*t as girl do in the beginning..
"Hey, what get together friday, I want to take you to this great place."
"How about you call me friday and lets see?"
At that moment in time, what you should say is.. "How about I hang up the phone right now and you call me sometimes when you are ready."

These b*tches play these stupid games.. its just another way they test you. to see how much of a man you are.

I don't know the details of your relationship but if she does this alot.. I say DTB.... Dump That B*itch.



A little about me:
============
Ken / Taiwanese, Chinese / 24 / Los Angeles / Pickup Artist
"premarital sex creates broken families, broken families creates broken society - a vicious cycle only you can stop."

Answer 7

If you spent a lot of money booking in advance, she is. If it is just an inconvience, you are. Parents are only with you so long and then they are gone. Besides, you may want them to babysit some day dor a whole weekend. Be nice. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Answer 8

Your girl should have been more considerate of you. If you have something planned, then at least she should have told them you guys were busy, unless the parents went out of their way a lot to organise a trip over. Its not so much who is wrong, as who is put out. If her folks live just around the corner, then she doesn't think much of you. If they live a long way away, then this is more important. She should have told you at least, and told her parents etc... breakdown of communication.

Answer 9

Know one thing first, you are the man, and you are wrong. I think you both are right and have good issues, but men never win this game. This is your chance right here and now to do a selfless thing for her, in regards to her parents. Plus, if it doesn't happen, you get mad points. Try not to be the wedge between her and her parents. Show them you deserve her heart, and will sacrifice everything for her happiness. I know it sucks, you guys away together verse the kinda in-laws. Suck it up brother. Take one for the team!

Answer 10

Depends how the talk went.

Ringgggggg
Hello,(your wife)
Hi this is mom,how is everybody?
Just fine,everyone is fine
I was wondering if you had any plans for the weekend
your dad and I were thinking about coming for a visit
No we don't have any plans,it would be great to see you!

If this is how the conversation went,then who is insensitive?