my dad is a nerd, an i don't love him?

Question

everynite when my dad comes home i wanna puke. He always comes home at the exact same time. my dads a chemistry prof at the university, total nerd and genius. He wants me to get a doctorate one day like him. i wanna play sports and hang out. i wish he would disappear. my parents are both nerds. my mom teaches violin at the university.
my dad looks like a geek. plus hes jewish, which i am also but my dad has a big nose and glasses. my main goal is to not be like him. today he was in my face about being home late from school. so i went so far as to ask him why with all the people that die in car wrecks everyday on the freeway, why isnt he one of them. he rushed off upstairs and i think he might have went in the bathroom and puked. when he came down about 45 mins later he was all smiling and flirting with my mom like nothing happened. but his eyes were red and still he wont look at me. so as of now im kind of depressed. if i go to sleep i'll probly have nightmares. any advice???

Answer 1

It is okay for you to tell your parents that you appreciate that they want the best for you, but it is your life and you your own dreams and ambitions that you want to pursue. Tell them that you are still young and have plenty of time to pursue a getting a doctorate degree some day if you so choose but right now there are other things you would like to try. It usually works best to do this in a letter because you will be able to say what you wish without being interrupted and without everyone getting emotional.
If you speak to your parents in a respectful manner, they should return the favor. Also, I know that you won't believe this, but some day when you are married and have kids of your own, you will appreciate your parents and will actually ask for their advice; I know from experience: I thought my parents were stupid and didn't understand me at all but when I was older I found out that they knew what they were talking about all along!

Answer 2

Well I have an awful father and I don't believe that just because someone is a father they deserve respect. My dad may not be like your dad but I completely understand your feelings. I made a vow when I was little to not be anything like my father and I have kept that promise to myself as I am now a mother. Not perfect but a heck of a lot closer than my dad could ever dream of being. People may not agree with me but that is my choice. I don't talk to my father and I only see him twice a year for holidays and that is it. My children are not close to him as I don't want him to hurt them the way he hurt me, my sister and my mom.

Answer 3

Its normal to be annoyed by your parents. But you definitely should not hate them unless they have given you a real reason to hate them, like molestation or abuse. Your father is just trying to be the best roll model for you, he only has his best interests for you. You should respect your parents because they are the ones who gave you life and brought you into this world. If you don't want to get a doctorate in whatever, they should respect that, you are your own person with your own identity. But don't disrespect your father and basically tell him you wish he was dead and gone, because what if that happened one day? One day you're really going to need him and what if he was gone? His eyes were probably all red because he was crying because your hurt him and was in shock at what you said to him. Try not to let yourself get all annoyed and pissed off, just take a deep breath whenever you feel irritation coming on. Good Luck. And be nice to your parents! They're the only ones you'll ever have.

Answer 4

You have said a horrible thing to your father. You have let him know in no uncertain terms how you feel about him. an you wonder why he was crying upstairs? How would you feel if your dad said he wishes Thai you'd be one of the dead car victims? Have you any idea what it took for your father to get to where he is? Being nerdy has nothing to do with it, little boy.You're obviously a teenager (and a very ungrateful one, too) and it's normal for that age group to rebel against everything that our parents stand for. But you don't need to be so vicious about it. You're feeling depressed because you KNOW you were WRONG and Heartless to say that to your father. He won't look at you because you really hurt.Go apologize to him NOW> Later on, when you have grown up quite a bit, you will come to appreciate your dad, especially when his time on earth has ended..

Answer 5

first of all at least you have two parents who try to excel in their life, if you don't want to be what your father is thats fine,when you are old enough and don't live under their roof,then your on your own.How dare you be so cruel to your dad,if u don't like him because u feel hes a nerd, you have alot of growing up to do.what if he would die and then how u would feel, my dad died 6 yrs ago from colon cancer, i might not have gotten along with him but at least i respected him.You should be ashamed of yourself,i suggest you apolozie to your dad while your able to,u just never know when your parents won't be there anymore, u take them for granted.

Answer 6

i understand ur frustration a little and you may feel like you are being presured to be a perfect person. just tell your parents how you feel and what you would want to accomplish in your own life as you grow older and they should respect that. if you talk to them with respect im positive that it will be given to you. and i wish that i had educated parents and still lived at home at least untill i graduate from college and medical school. ur life may not be as you want right now but what if you became homeless and had no one to turn to for help , had no food no way to travel and no one to consider how you feel? just think of all the what if's that can go wrong in your life. and just add death of one of your parents and hatred by the other, that is what i went through for a long time, try 10 years of homelessness and see what i mean. go easy on them and give urself a good oportunity at least to earn a decent living.they just want to know that when there gone, you will be ok. education first and everything will follow.

Answer 7

You sound very ungrateful and spoiled. There are MANY people out there who don't have a mother & father that are still together. You should feel blessed to have a COMPLETE family. ALSO, your parents are what we call gifted intellectually. Instead of being prowd of this, you are embarrassed! You disrespected your father and probably hurt his feelings and now you wonder why he wont look at you? How would you feel if he said he wished you were killed in a car accident? THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK! Would you be prowd of your mother was a crack whore and your father was an inmate? What is wrong with you? Get help please.

Answer 8

Yeah, Talk it out with him... on his terms. You already tried on your own terms - it didn't work out well. I assume you are using the word "nerd" pejoratively (insultingly), but if your Dad is also a nerd because he is smart or intellectual, then you are going to have to be intellectual in your approach to him. Be Honest, not brutal! Do you really wish he was dead?? Really??? Get a grip on your gut emotions. Your intellect must control them, not ignore them, but direct them reasonably. You can't let your emotions control you. Use your emotions to give you energy and drive, but use your intellect to give direction and purpose to that emotional energy.

Sit down and think about how you really feel, long and hard. Then just be honest with your Dad - he's sure to appreciate any reasonable thought you've put into the situation. If you can make the first move to deal with him, reasonably, then he is much more likely to let his hair down, so to speak, and begin to relate to you more on Your terms. To wit: If ya can't beat him, then join him.... and then use your savvy to make him think it was his idea to make peace all along. :-)

Answer 9

Most fathers have ideas as to how or what they would like their sons to progress into. First off you should be ashamed of yourself for treating your father as you did and without hesitation own up to your ignorance and apologize for your ignorance. He's already shown that he doesn't hate you and you hurt him deeply. Sit down with your father and explain that you have no interest in his field of knowledge and that you would prefer choosing your own field. He will understand and help you in any way he can. Many years ago a friend of mine told me something that holds true in my heart even today. He said you never realize that you wish you had spent more time with your parents but not until after they have passed on. No truer words were ever spoken. I believe in the bible teaching that "God" said.... "Honor thy Father and thy Mother that they're days may be long upon the earth which the Lord thy God has giveth to them". Don't you think it's about time you woke up? Depressed???? You should be for what you did.

Answer 10

Count your blessings!! Many kids are in foster care, because they don't have parents or they have parents that are so bad that they had their kids taken away from them. NEVER allow other people to embarrass you. YOU can't control how other people are. Your parents want the best for you, that's the bottom line!! And even though you think you hate your parents for who they are, you'll realize one day that they really aren't so bad!!