My parents and family want me to be perfect... I am scared of letting them down, what do I do?

Answer 1

As a proud parent of three, I can understand your family's concern. When they were younger, things were much easier. Crime was less rampant, education was cheaper, and descicions were less complicated. Nowadays, parents don't want their children to repeat the mistakes they have made in life, or to regret choices they did/did not make.

Honestly, do not let fear conquer you. YOU should have faith in YOUR abilities. YOU will do what YOU deem is right. Nothing is more frightening than the stern "disappointment" from one's parents. If YOU feel as if you did the absulute best that YOU could do, then walk proudly.

Remember, "once man ceases to make mistakes, he also ceases to learn".

Answer 2

When I called my father on this same thing, he said he didn't even realize he was doing it...he just thought he was doing the best job (being a parent) that he knew how.......Case in point !!!!NO ONE IS PERFECT......aaah haaa !

Moral of story : Have open lines of communication...it will be hard and maybe uncomfortable for everyone at first....but the more you practice this with your family...the easier it gets !!!

Then, there is more understanding , more compassion for eachother, more love, and the feeling that you're all on the same team, and your family will surely cut you some slack.

Take Care, Be Kind to Yourself xoxo

Answer 3

Are they perfect - I don't think so. What is their definition of perfect ? Parents love for their children should be unconditional, please don't allow them to control you. You need to learn to be happy with yourself and to know what you want out of life. Parents often pressurise their children into being the type of people they wish they were. You must follow your heart, do the job you are happy with, choose the sexual orientation you are happy with, being a nice, caring person is far more important than having the " perfect " job or best grades.
Your parents really need to realise that making mistakes is a part of the learning curve and without making mistakes you cannot progress.
It is not your duty to be scared of letting them down, however it is their duty to support you in all you decisions and mistakes. I wish you joy and please try to be strong and do not allow your parents to bully you in any way.

Answer 4

I'm going through the exact same thing. I feel so much pressure to always make the right choice or to not screw up.

It was bugging me so much infact that I actually had to sit down and talk with my mom about it. And it made me feel alot better!

We can't learn much about life without making mistakes. They only make us stronger. Your parents were your age once too, and I guarantee that they were not always "perfect". There is no such thing as perfect. You just need to relax and always follow your heart. If you're happy they'll be happy. If you fall down and need help, I'm sure they'd jump right in to pick you back up...

Answer 5

All parents want the best for their children. If you always do your best and live your life with integrity and honor, I can almost guarantee that your family will be proud. But most importantly, when YOU know these things of YOURSELF, you will always be able to walk with your head high. Just don't be to hard on yourself. Quite often, the pressure from within ourselves is much greater than that which comes from anyone else. We ALL stumble from time to time but if you lighten the load it won't happen as often. Walk straight and tall my friend and have a joyful journey.

Answer 6

I have just gone through counselling for this exact problem! Most of the time it is own expections of perfection, rather than our parents. We set our bar higher than our parents in order to over achieve and thus get better recognition. When we feel we are going to "just" achieve we worry, but our parents are still estatically happy with us.

I had be issues with my Dad in particularly, but as soon as I started to talk to him the issues that I thought were real issues, disappeared.

It's all in our heads unfortunately!

Good luck, and if you need help give me an email!

Answer 7

No one is perfect, neither is your parents or else they wouldn't be putting so much pressure on you! Everyone lets their parents down at one point or another, you just have to deal with it. Good luck!

Answer 8

Learn to love and accept yourself. Do the right things for the right reasons and you've got no worries.

I can't remember exactly how he said it, but Michael J. Fox said something along the lines of, "Excellence, I can strive for. Perfection is G-d's business."

You can walk in faith or in fear...but not in both. Have faith that everything will be OK...because it will be. No matter what. :)

Answer 9

Make a major mistake, something huge. Like come home drunk. Let them down majorly. After a while they will be so proud that you have straightened back up and the pressure will be off of you.

Answer 10

Tell your parents that they are putting to much pressure on you and that no one is perfect. That you need there love and support and with that you will do your best!