Guys - How damaging is sex on the first date?

Question

I had a date with a man who just got divorced. I'm doing the same. We really hit it off on our first date and one thing led to another and we had sex. He's called me afterward and said he doesn't think less of me and we will be going out again. Is this just a myth that guys won't respect you if you do this? I don't know if age matters but I am 35 and he is 46.

Answer 1

Well, I don't see any issues with 35 and 46.

As far as the original question goes, if it were me, and the sex were good, I wouldn't think any less of her either. I'd want to keep the door open in case I want to hook up with her and get some more. I wouldn't want to burn any bridges-especially being recently divorced.

Okay, did he first talk about how much he enjoyed your company or mention your interests or the color of your eyes or empathize about what you're going through with your divorce? Or maybe how awesome you looked in that beautiful dress? Or anything else that's important to YOU? If he did, I wouldn't worry about it so much.

Answer 2

Don`t let this smooth beginning fool you, (now you asked, so I hope you won`t be offended with truthful answers), First be sure he is divorced, second, it is definitely not a myth, about men not respecting women who give in easily, they`ll tell a woman all kinds of nice things just to ride again, then they`ll find someone else that won`t give in as easily, and treat her with respect, but keep holding on and using the easy ride, whenever he needs to ride.Oh it happens more often than not, and too, most divorced men aged at 46 likes to start a new relationship with ladies ages 19 up to 25 years, 35 is ok, but I lie not, so just be careful. don`t push it. don`t live in adultery. no man or woman is worth it.

Answer 3

Most of the people on here are pretty young..

It is not a myth. It is a fact.

Just the fact that he brought it up to you is a red flag already! He is trying to play his cards right and try to eliminate your buyer's remorse. Deep down, we all know what is going on.

He sees you more as a sperm depository than anything else. He just got over a divorce, who doesn't want a new vagina to hit.

Just remember, anyone divorced is baggage. There is a reason he divorced and atleast 50% of it is his fault no matter what they say. If he doesn't spend some time single and correct his mistakes.. those baggage will become your problem.

Good luck


A little about me:
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Ken / Taiwanese, Chinese / 24 / Los Angeles / Pickup Artist
"premarital sex creates broken families, broken families creates broken society - a vicious cycle only you can stop."

Answer 4

Hun, it's not a risk worth taking. I mean, you can run the risk of falling in love with him after the sex, but he won't love you back because men generally don't feel more emotionally once they had sex, but women do. You could find yourself wanting more than he's willing to give, and your heart could break as a result. Or you could find yourself falling for the wrong guy as a result of having sex early on.

Just be careful, and not have sex for a LONG time. If he really cares about you, he'll view you worth the wait. You know why? There are more important things than sex, and a guy who won't wait means he's only using you for sex.

I once was nursing pain over a break-up with an ex. I done something I normally wouldn't do, and slept with a guy the first night I met him. He only wanted it as a one-night stand, or for it to be casual. I was not a one-night stand person, so I kept pursuing him, and eventually got him, but got pregnant by him only 4 months later. He stood by me, but he turned out to be an abusive jerk. I should've never slept with him in the first place, but I also should've let things go after that first night.

Please think this through, as I don't want you to make the same mistake as me.

And for future reference, pull the breaks on things leading to sex until you had "the talk". Be open and honest about your sexual history, and keep testing yourself as some people are not honest about their past. You might even be able to get a free testing from your local courthouse.

Answer 5

Sure I will go out with someone after we sleep together on the first date. Why sleep with her and then lose her......I will keep sleeping with her. It's all about the nookie.

BUT....if you tell him you think things went too fast, and you want to not have sex for a few months until you get to know each other better....THEN you'll find out what he is really like and how he really feels.

If not, have fun and just have sex....because it won't last.

Answer 6

I think by that age, men are less hypocritical about it. Generally, a man that mature will not have sex on the first date if he thinks it is wrong. Most will not be that mature, though.

Still, it's a bad idea, and it can make you look loose. There's nothing wrong with waiting.

Answer 7

It's a individual thing some guy seem to think bad of a woman that does some guys don't . think of it like this do u respect him for sleeping with you on the first date.

Answer 8

I have NO RESPECT for a woman who sleeps with me on the first date

Answer 9

In the long run, you'll see the effects of the night's happenings. Men lose respect even if they keep seeing the woman... Don't do it for a while longer...and see if he still wants to keep seeing you...

Answer 10

IT NOT DAMAGING BUT IT COULD BE A START OF SOMETHING THAT MAY BE MORE OF SEX THEN REALLY
GETTING TO KNOW YOU AS A PERSON. AND I DONT'
THINK AGE MATTER AT ALL. BUT SEE HOW IT GOES
BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE
SO I WOULD KEEP A OPEN MIND ABOUT HIM.