what do i do about my mother?

Question

4 months ago my son and i came from las vegas
and my mother had not seen her grandson for 3years i know she missed us.So about 3months ago i took him to her house for a while, she lives about 2hours away.i cant go there cause i dont have a car neither dose she.and i miss my son so so so much,now she wants him to go to school there.want do i do?

Answer 1

Your son needs you! And you need him too. Find a way to get him back to you if you can't live closer to your mother. Really it sounds like your mother is being controlling. If she loved you both she'd want him to be with his mother!

You didn't mention if your mother lives alone. It sounds to me like she is lonely. If that's the case, then she needs to find some activities to participate in.

The bottom line is that you and your son belong together. He is YOUR son, not hers. She is his grandmother. She had her opportunity to raise her kids, now it's your turn. Of course, she should remain an active grandparent in his life, but you are his mom. I guess I don't quite understand why there would even be a question about what you should do.

By the way, if you let him stay with your mom he may end up feeling like you've abondoned him and be resentful later in life. Please don't let this happen. Go get your son - you'll be glad you did. I think you know that it's what you have to do but you just needed confirmation from other people.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

The question here is what is best for your son, not what is best for you or your mother. Where would your son be better off? Who is the closest to the better school? Given the fact that you are both on foot (and that is real hard to be with kids) who is closest to medical care God forbid he should need it. Who is in the better shape to provide for his daily needs?

I know that you miss your boy, but 2 hours away is nothing. You could more than likely catch a bus or have a friend take you every weekend or every other weekend.Or she could do the same as far as that goes.

I realize if you do not have the funds for a car, you more than likely are not in the shape to move, and who are we kidding when does living with ones mother ever work out for extended periods of time after you have moved out and had a child. She will have her idea how he should be raised and you have yours.

If you keep his best interest at heart, you can never go wrong.

Answer 3

Yes, it does seem that there is more to this story. But regardless of the situation, the boys welfare comes first . If he is old enough, talk to him and find out how he feels. Even though children don't always know what is best for themselves, you should take his wants and needs into consideration before making any decision. It's true that it is not always easy to do the right thing but when you became his mother you also became responsible to do what is best for him. Isn't there a way you can move closer to your mom and accept the help she sounds so willing to give. I may be way off base but it is my guess that if you and your mom have a real heart to heart you can figure something out that you will all benefit from. But my best advice is to pray for guidance.

Answer 4

How old is your son? Why did you leave your son with your mother for three months? It doesn't make sense that you left him for three months with someone he really didn't know, even if she is his grandmother. It seems as if there must be a little more to this situation than you have told us, because from the perspective of a mother and a grandmother this just doesn't make sense.

What do you do? You do what is best for your son. What is he saying about all of this? Your mom lives only two hours away ... that doesn't sound impossible to arrange for her to visit from time to time. Take charge of this situation and sit with your mom and plan what is best for your son. You can find a way to get there, and to get her to you for a visit. You can sort this out - you must sort this out. Isn't your son confused about you leaving him for so long? Time to get it sorted.

Answer 5

sounds like there's more to this story that we're not hearing. Are you working, have income, have a husband, having a tough time, can't pay your rent, etc? You didn't say how old the child is. Maybe she wants you and your child to move closer. Maybe she feels if you and your son are closer to her she can help you out more, or help pay for some things to help you out.

Answer 6

If you want your child with you go get him...You do and know what's best for YOUR child...Like you said she hasn't seen you or your son in the past three years..You were doing fine w/o her then..so why start depending on her now....Apparently she not doing that well herself and you must of had your reasons as to why you weren't around her..People tend to forget and then end up remembering why again..So think about it, in your heart you'll know what's best....

Answer 7

Your mother seems lonely but he is your son. Say that you are more than happy for him to visit with her but she must understand that you miss him very much and need him with you. Maybe suggest that she think about moving a bit closer (but not too close).

Answer 8

He's your son. She has no right to get involved in this. Your son is supposed to be with you. Get on a bus and bring him home. It's very touching that your mother cares so much about her grandchild but ultimately it's not her child to raise. Have him visit whenever possible, but he should be with you. Don't give in.

Good luck :)

Answer 9

Hmmm...., I don't know your mom, but I know she loves your son. My mom lives about 24 hours away, in Europe, and she would love to have my son and me and my husband there, close to her. It's not a bad thing. I wish I could move closer to her, because she can't see us either for years. So, if you think it's OK to move closer so she can be with him, and he can see his grandmother more often, than you can try to move closer. I don't know your relationship with your mom, so this is just an advice.
Good luck to you!

Answer 10

Get your son.Your son need his father.Nothing against mom but she raise you.It your turn to shine and do right by your son.If you let mom make decision for your son.You will have big problems with her interfering in your business concerning your son.Don't start nothing that you wil regret later.Go get your son.Find a way to get him back.Tell mom she will get a chance to see him more often.