I TRY TO BE A GOOD PARENT BY GIVING HIM EVERYTHING HE WANTS AND NEEDS BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL HE MAY BE A LITTLE DEPRESSED HE ALWAYS ASKING WHY DONT HE HAVE ANY BROTHERS OR SISTERS WHAT SHOULD I DO?
2006-08-29 16:43:12 · 20 answers · asked by GREEN EYEZ 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
MY SON IS 9 HE HASNT SEEN HIS FATHER SINCE HE WAS 2 HIS DAD IS NOT IN HIS LIFE, SO BASICALLY I DO IT ON MY OWN I'M 23 IF THAT HELPS
2006-08-30 15:13:31 · update #1
Buy him one!
2006-08-29 16:49:19 · answer #1 · answered by a41xblj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say where the father is - is he involved? How old is your son? (perhaps you can go back into your question and provide some details)
Answer his questions honestly. You don't have any brothers or sisters at this time because....... Or, Mommy can't have anymore children, we were so lucky to be able to have just one and it was you... Or, Uncle Joe and Aunt Jane have a bunch of kids and maybe we can consider them like a brother or sister....
Also, he may be spoiled and whiny because you "give him everything." If he's older than five he needs to work for anything extra. You may be raising a kid who has his mother's number, the "oh, I am so sorry that your dad...." Be sure you are being a mother and not his best friend. If you picked a bad dad then explain it to him that not all men can pull off the dad thing but it's not the kids fault....etc.
Most communities have a ton of services for kids without fathers or siblings. There are groups of mothers or parents with similar problems. Go on computer and Google words in the area of parenting. Tons of really good books out there. You might try Dr. Laura's website. She has a list of about 50 books on parenting and marriage, relationships, etc. You cannot be both mother and father to him. At any rate, this is a common problem and other parents in your area have the same dilemma. Good luck.
2006-08-29 17:57:01 · answer #2 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am an only child and at the age of 35 I don't have even one close girl friend.
You should take him to the local park or, if he is in school, arrange a birthday party (giving him something to look forward to) or, what I did with my son, I signed him up for six months in Taekwondo (Karate) and he LOVES IT!! Your son needs companionship with male role models (karate) or other team sport like soccor. Soccor is not a lot of money and will give your son the feeling of accomplishment and a challenge to show his skills. You should also look into the Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America if you need help (link provided below). My son is engaged at school and with karate. Being an only child, I told my husband I wanted another child and now we have a 16-month-old girl, because I remember how tough is was being an only child. My stuffed animals and music were my friends most of the time.
Unfortunately as well, you need to play board games or do art and crafts with your son if he's that bored. I know it's a lot of effort on your part, but think of your son. Go on a bike ride or walk to see if your son will open up as to how he is feeling. Ask him questions to see who he is playing with at school or how he is being treated by peers at school. Also, you might ask him if he has any "secrets" he needs to let you know about. I was molested at age 5 and I didn't tell anybody. Now that I'm a parent, it's my worst fear. Try to spend time with your son so he'll open up to you and then maybe you'll find out what exactly he needs (mother's instinct).
Good luck.
2006-08-29 16:58:38 · answer #3 · answered by whatzerface 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, don't give him everything he wants. Children need to learn that they can't have everything. I made my son save for things he wanted. It has made him more responsible with money now that he is an adult.
My son is also an only child. I involved him in activites that had other children like swim lessons, pre-school, etc.
Are there other children in the neighborhood he can play with? If so take turns making play dates with other parents. It can be good for him and for you when it's not your day to host.
Answer honestly, if you can as to why he doesn't have brothers and sisters.
Children don't have to be happy all the time.
2006-08-29 16:54:51 · answer #4 · answered by Wiscdance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a good parent isn't giving your child everything that he WANTS and needs. He wants your time and LOVE.
He needs boundaries.
He probably wants a brother or a sister so he can have someone to love and be loved by. Not just give him things.
He might just be going through a phase, don't get too down on yourself.
2006-08-29 16:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by Melody 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop giving him everything he wants!! kids need basics , they need love, and roots and wings... not stuff... roots means that takes your time to show him where he is from and what he is made of and the wings show him where he can go and how well he can soar in life. Go to a play ground and let him play with other kids.. if you want more kids its because you are an adult and you chose to have more.. not because a child told you to!!
2006-08-29 16:50:00 · answer #6 · answered by 13 ths LINDA S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe single children need to have more things at home to keep him busy however, it sounds as if he is lonely and needs someone to be with. Why not you? Start arranging to do more things with him. Then sign up for groups, after school programs, sporting teams, boy scouts, etc. so that he can make some new friends. Invite them over so that he can spend time with kids his age.
2006-08-29 17:11:30 · answer #7 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's typical for kids to want a sibling--he wants someone to play with. If you aren't ready to have anohter child--you need to let him know that. He will be disappointed, but you should make sure he has friends to play with and activities to keep him busy and give him opportunities to make friends. Good luck!!
2006-08-29 17:51:03 · answer #8 · answered by sidnee_marie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he wants playmates! Start him a couple hours a week in a preschool that you feel comfortable with. He will enjoy the company of other children, and will feel more complete and happy.
2006-08-29 16:48:34 · answer #9 · answered by Amy J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old is he? i know when i was around 6 i used to be sad that i didn't have any brothers or sisters. (and i still don't) it passed though. try putting him in team sports or classes where he can get interaction with kids his own age.
2006-08-29 16:50:21 · answer #10 · answered by chishru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm the only child and majority of us "only child"s" are spoil. So I say he may not like it now but I learned to live with it and he may too. Oh yeah, make sure to tell him the thruth. Don't sugar-coat it to him either.
2006-08-29 17:31:41 · answer #11 · answered by Re15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋