Must a strong willed woman become submissive in order to find a good man?

Question

Background: Married at a young age and took too many responsibilities in order to accomplish goals. Dealt with irrisponsibility, emotional abuse for too long. I'm now a single independent mom, looking to meet a good carreer/family oriented man without them being controlling or dominating? Are men intimidated by attractive women with brains?

Answer 1

No, a strong-willed woman doesn't have to become submissive, but she does need to learn how to stroke a man's ego. By the way, men are intimidated by attractive women period and if you add brains to that....yes, it can be intimidating.

But REAL men are not intimidated by beauty and brains. I personally LOVE those qualities about women. It's when a woman takes the whole being "independent" thing too far. In this year of 2006, more men are dating and marrying overseas women in increasing numbers because too many women here in the states have scared them away with their materialism, over-the-top independence, as well as not knowing how to make a man feel like a man. Granted, men have many faults also and these are only GENERAL statements.

The problem is that men are discovering if they don't have the right set of social skills, the right relationships skills that going overseas is NOT the solution; they end up picking the wrong person anyway. "You attract what you are" I always say and have learned this to be more true.

A real man is not controlling nor dominanting, so if you ever date someone like that you already know they are not LTR material. A real man will give you your space and will not try and dominate you; however he also won't take any bad behavior from you such as flaking for no good reason (just an example, btw) or not letting him open the door for you (it's a pet peeve of mine when women don't allow me the opportunity to be a gentleman).

The reality is that a good portion of men will be intimidated by you, some of them won't like the fact that you are a single mother, but you know what? It's their loss. The fact is if you want to meet quality men you have to go to places that attract them. Such as your local church (if you're active), new restaurant openings, joining social clubs, and I'm a huge believer in online dating. However, most people go about it the wrong way. You may have to date 10, 25, or even 50 men to finally find the one that qualifies as your match. A lot of people aren't willing to go throught that work, but one constant in life is this:

Anything worth having takes some work. While most men are intimidated by women with brains, there are still real men that are out there that aren't.......and you've got to let your man be a man...without the whole "controlling" or "dominating", unless it's in the bedroom and the mood strikes.....:P

Rod Cortez

Answer 2

Strong Willed Woman

Answer 3

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RE:
Must a strong willed woman become submissive in order to find a good man?
Background: Married at a young age and took too many responsibilities in order to accomplish goals. Dealt with irrisponsibility, emotional abuse for too long. I'm now a single independent mom, looking to meet a good carreer/family oriented man without them being controlling or dominating? Are...

Answer 4

YES, and thank god for that (if men weren't intimidated by attractive women with brains and strong will, where would we be now? Still way back when women couldn't even get the same jobs as men or even vote, I think. All thanks to Susan B. A.!!!) anyway, just be yourself and the right guy will come to you; in order to find a truly right guy for you in life, you must BE YOURSELF; don't drape a veil of submissiveness and humbleness over your strong will; I like people with strong will, who think independently and for themselves and not others ALL the time (although it's good to think about others, of course). As I say, never suppress your personality; your personality is a gift you've recieved, and by suppressing it, you're hiding it in the closet in shame. Don't be shameful of your personality; be yourself, and I'm sure that the right man will find you (or you'll find each other). ^_^

Answer 5

I don't understand what you mean about being strong willed as it can mean many things! Do you mean stubborn? Or do you mean you know what you want? I would think that being confident and loving, being thoughtful to oneself as well as a potential mate and finding a man who is secure with himself do`able.
However, you may being chasing men away if you come off hard. Men as well as women want to feel needed and treasured. Not all men are abusive or easily intimidated.
I would be the women you are and don't forget to want a man and allow him to be a man. Sometimes we carry so much hurt that we tend to come off as having to much baggage and when we do this it's like we are making someone else pay for debts owed to us.
I don't know if this applies to you? I just hope you will find someone who makes you happy to be a woman and I think the trick may be finding a man who is family oriented first with a career a big heart and proud of the women he is with. I believe when someone really loves us and we are loving to them we delight in each others accomplishments and the security comes from being loved so well.
Good luck!

Answer 6

A woman doesn't need to be submissive, and not all men are intimidated by attractive women with brains.

I found a great man who is both willing to be my strength, and laid back enough to let me hold the reigns. The trick is, my husband is ten years older than me, and it took me pursuing him for us to get together.

In his case, he just never thought of approaching women, so had never had a serious relationship. My strength and independence was needed to pursue him, and his laid back nature (along with his brains and strength) were needed to support my paradoxical nature.

One caveat is that there was a little tension for the first six months on me being "better than him" in some areas which society seemed to say he should be the head, but it quickly faded, and now he is my biggest cheerleader and greatest supporter.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Men are not intimidated by intelligent women. If anything, guys would prefer women with brains. I never have that problem considering my education level. The problem with "independent" women is that they attempt to run the relationship. They think they can do anything they want because that's what equality is about. However, that's not what a relationship is about. It's about assuming roles and responsiblities. Women are just better than men at some things and vice versa. You obviously have some taming issues. You're trying to be wild and free while wanting a husband who's under your control or will allow you to do what you want. The problem with women is that you give them slack and it back fires right in your face. You're the type who's not committed to one man who will let you run free.

Answer 8

i don't know.

i think what makes submission special is that it is exclusive. If you carry yourself that way, it is no longer exclusive.

Some man like women who carry themself like that to show off but do you want a show off??!

My dad told me that some man take pride in having a strong willed woman because it shows that he is very powerful and other man wonder how he does it. so..

just be yourself. you are beautiful and complete. Be happy and love will find you.

Answer 9

no... some aren't but, there is a world of difference between "strong willed" and "attitude". a lot of women who say they are just "strong willed" are really acting like "divas" and are rude, rude rude!! you can have your own mind and be firm without acting like your better than everybody else! it's a big turn off for men when a women is too bossy or treats him like he is of no consequence, and just there to serve her. You don't have to be a door mat either! I hope you find a man who respects you for who you are, and you respect him for who he is and not for what they have or what he can take.. remember... he can only take from you what you are willing to give! if a red flag goes off in your head LISTEN TO IT! good luck.

Answer 10

Intimidated by brains and beauty....you betcha baby. We just have to deal with it.......there will come a day when each of us will find a person who isn't intimidated by us.....until then, get a sitter every other weekend and go out with the girls.......when that 23 yr old wants to take ya home, go for it.......You'll have the time of your life!