Crybaby Son?

Question

So today my son who is 10 came home from school crying. He was whining about how some other boy was mean to him. I called him a little girl and told him that if he wants to be a real man he shouldnt cry, I then sent him to his room and am not letting him out til school tomorrow. This was what anyone would do in that situation right?

Answer 1

Man that's just sad. No wonder he cries, his father squashes whatever self respect, or self worth he has left in him.

For shame, man, for shame.

Answer 2

Actually, and it may surprise you, but that wasnt the way to handle it. The best way would to have been by telling your son to go to school the next day and ignore the person, if it's verbal abuse that is going on. Stuff like this can be ignored to the point that picking on the child isn't fun anymore. Just be sure to let him know that if they see that it bothers him, then they will keep on doing it.

Now, if your son is being beat up, that is a different story. Then you take it to the teacher first. If the problem escalates, then follow the chain of command. (i.e. teacher, counselor, V. principal, Principal, Superintendant; fit the bullying childs parents in there in some way at the correct time and in the correct way).

All in all, your way of handling the problem wasn't right.

(I do know where you are coming from, however, with not wanting to raise a wuss of a son. Understandable but there are other ways to handle things like this then to do what you did.)

I hope I could be of service to you.

Answer 3

WRONG!!! U need some lessons on how 2 b a real man! How could u b so insensitive?! U should've talked 2 him about what was bothering him instead u hurt him more by not caring. Teaching him 2 hold back his feelings letting them build up inside will only lead 2 problems. Do u want him 2 go 2 school & get in a fight w/ this mean boy & end up getting expelled, never have a healthy relationship, become a psycopath???

Answer 4

If you honestly think your response to your son's situation and emotion was appropriate...you wouldn't be asking us is we would do the same thing. Real men do cry and have sensitivity towards others. If you want your son to grow up and be a "real man" like you...help us all. We certainly don't need anymore name calling bullies around. Do you realize you did the exact same thing to him the boy at school did?? Only yours was worse because you are supposed to be his safe place and parent to come to. I hope you look back on this when your son hates you and probably gets mixed up in drugs and alcohol to hide from his own self loathing you are helping to instill.

Get some help and call child welfare on yourself. You are an unfit parent.

Answer 5

I think that maybe you should consider trying to enroll him into some kind of martial arts classes or self-defense classes to help him to build his self esteem & his confidence so that he will not feel worried when confronted by a bully. Perhaps it would be even better if you could attend the classes with him, that would give the two of you something very positive to do together and give strength to your relationship with him as well. Sometimes it's hard to know what the right thing is to do with our children, especially if you really don't have a role model to follow or perhaps the one you do have is not very good. All we can do is try to be better parents than what ours were...and please consider appologizing to your son, telling him that you love him, & that you will both find a way to make a change! Good Luck!

Answer 6

no...just bc he is a boy doesn't mean he shouldn't be allowed to show his emotion...especially at his age. When he is older he will learn what society says is acceptable about emotions...if you make him suppress his feeling and he doesn't learn to talk through them or at least identify them he may lash out other ways...let him know you are an approachable father. You are comfortaable enough in your man hood to be able to show emotion to your young son, aren't you?

Also ask him why the other boy was being mean - help him to learn to deal with conflict in a positive way at this age...also make sure that there isn't something that you need to be correcting -( is the other kid a bully, is your son being mean, is it about a girl already?) I totally understand you dont want your boy to turn out to be a sissy...but you gotta balance that while he is young ~ good luck~

Answer 7

Go talk to the school counselor because I think you made the situation worst. The counselor should give you some ideas about ideal ways to deal with this. I am an educator, and if I was your son's teacher, I would listen to his reasons for feeling picked on. I would then give him solutions to those situations.

Answer 8

Mike unless you are a troll, I think you seriously need to re-evaluate this response to your son. This is the type of parental response that can cause a lot of problems later on. Why would you call him a little girl and send him to his room. How about next time giving him some pointers on how to handle the situation when it occurs at school so he learns a positive way of dealing with bullys.

Answer 9

You know its sad that parents raise their sons to believe that its not o.k. for a boy/man to cry, but contrary to belief it is ok to cry, think about when you were young you cried when someone hurt or bothered you, and you are not a cry baby now are you?....So why would you tell your 10 year old he was being a little girl, and then you made matters worse by punishing him for expressing his feelings to the one person he probably felt cared about him and he trusted, now he is really confused. Talk to your son and let him know its ok to cry sometimes, and sometimes you have to overlook peoples ignorance, whoever the boy was that was picking on your son, tell your son to laugh at him next time and move on! Your son probably held those tears until he got to what he thought was his comfort zone...His Father!.....marinate on that! God bless!

Answer 10

First of all, you don't call a ten year old boy a little girl and gang up on him when he's already in that kind of a mood. Talk to him about it, and while your doing that, toughen him up to resist that kind of a situation and to fight back. (not literally!) Maybe you should be a real parent and help him! That's what my father did in those type of situations when I was younger and it worked.

Answer 11

I can't believe u were so mean to your poor child! If u keep on making him feel ashamed of his feelings (and therefore ashamed of himself), you'll just end up creating serious self-esteem problems in your son and pushing him away from u. Put yourself in his shoes:he's only 10, he doesn't know how to manage sadness, anger, frustration or whatever, you can't just punish him for crying! Oyu must TALK to him and help him build a stronger attitude. Plus, it's so retrograd of you to call him "little girl" for doing so...