PLEASE HELP!! I don't feel like I have adjusted to motherhood the way that I should have. My son is 1 1/12 yr

Question

PLEASE HELP! I don't feel like I have adjusted to motherhood the way that I should have. My son is 1 1/12 yrs old and I take care of him and I am a pretty good mom I think but I never planned on having kids and I still don't feel like I was meant to have children. I love being a mom but I used to be wild before I got married and had my son. Does anyone else feel the same way...like you can't adjust to motherhood completely?

I'm 24 years old.

Answer 1

I felt that way. It isn't easy being a mother especially when they are that young. What you need (and I know it's hard to find) is time for yourself. Try to find someone to relieve you for one night a week or 30 minutes a day. Just find something that works in your situation and you'll end up being a better Mom for having done so.

Answer 2

I know what you mean. My kids are finally grown. My baby is 20 now. He's my only son. I was wild too but let me tell you...When you start missing those "wild" nights on the town just look at your son's sweet little face. Hold his foot in your hand while he's sleeping because really, before you know it he will be a man. You will be in competition with his girlfriends for his attention. I know it seems like it takes forever but all the parties and men in the world won't bring back this time while he is a little boy. Just try not to stress out over everything. If he does something that won't matter 10 years from now then shrug it off. Your job as his mom is to just keep him out of danger and trouble, feed and clothe him and be there for him when he needs you. Guide him as best you can. We all make mistakes but children really do forgive you. I have a long story about my children and I but there's not enough room to tell you about it. All I'll say is go easy on yourself. It's okay to get a sitter once in awhile so you can go out and have fun but don't make it a habit. Your son needs you. Try to have fun with being a mother. That should be easy since you seem like a fun type of person. Motherhood is an adjustment but it's a way of life so get used to it. You had him and you love him. Your only other option would be to give up and let someone adopt him but you don't want to do that and I don't think you're a quitter. Good luck to you and your precious son.

Answer 3

I thought I would have trouble adjusting to motherhood too. If you feel that way, then you may want to think hard before having any more kids.

I'm sure you love your son very much, but motherhood can take its toll. Just hang in there and watch other moms. Maybe join a playgroup, and talk to other moms who may have the same type of feelings. You'll probably be surprised at how many moms have had the same situation as you.

Answer 4

Honey, you are a mother. That is a fact now. You can't go back. The thing to do now is handle that responsibility the best way you know how, hopefully with help from friends and family. If you don't have any support from anyone, call on a higher power. Ask and you shall receive. Enjoy your child, because children are a gift, no matter how burdensome it may seem at times, and they are the only ones to love you unconditionally. They deserve the same love. Indulge yourself whenever possible and enjoy your wild times, mothers deserve to have a good time to. Life doesn't stop because a toddler is tagging behind you...it just slows down a bit. But most of all, accept your situation... that is the only way to find a positive change!

Answer 5

it is okay, you're commonly used. you're in simple terms no longer a soccer mom type! no longer something incorrect with that! you will possibly be in simple terms as stable a mom or greater useful than an "adjusted mom"! save your job and raise your son, you will do advantageous. BTW - in view which you purely have one, you will have slightly activities motor vehicle! I surely have 3 and decide for a minivan! LOL! each and every so often I long to be back at artwork and putting out with buddies, yet I surely have 3 and can't. My time is often tied up. It wasn't like that when I in simple terms had my daughter. yet it is what I chosen, so i'm on the different area of the fence. The grass isn't greener for the two individuals. We do exactly issues in a various way!

Answer 6

I feel this way sometimes too. While I love my children and do my best, I miss my past sometimes. Those care free days were fun weren't they. But look at the beautiful child you created. Give it time. He is still very young and needs your constant attention, but soon he will become more independent and you will start to feel a bit more like the person you were before. Get a babysitter and go get wild again for a night in the mean time, you'll be surprised at how much you miss him at the end of the evening.

Answer 7

First I just want to say there is some erroneous assumption going on about being a young mother- its a myth. I am much much younger than you and i am 100% adjusted to my role as a mother. Dont let anyone convince you that 24 year old is too young to be happy in the role of mother. I spend every waking moment from morning to night on my son but he does have special needs which sort of neccessitates this. I love everything about him including his special needs.
GET HELP. Get help right now. Soon what seems like a moment will pass, and your childs childhood will be over. He will grow up so fast you wont even believe it, and then your problems with your feelings will be worse. My mother had this and trust me, you need to seek help and get into your role as a mother. You will need to love and enjoy it now because it is so short - it will be over too soon. I really think there is a innate need in all mothers to devote themselves to their children. I have seen many older wemon who went through your situation and are now craving being a mother and it is too late and sometimes they get neurotically involved with strangers or grandchildren trying to recapture their lost motherhood. i lost some of my childs early months because I was so busy with other things, and i got very upset and wanted those baby days back. I still wish every day I could start all over from day 1 of his life because I missed those first few months so much. But all us mothers can do is start from today. Be everything you want yourself to be today and at least you will have the rest of his childhood to enjoy and look back on proudly.

Answer 8

I have a 3 year old and it seems everyday there is something else I am to change about my personality just to be a better mom. For example I have a potty mouth and now I am working hard to curb that, I quit smoking, I work on my temper ect....I do have days that I feel I am losing myself and it frustrates me. I miss being able to run around and be ME or atleast what I thought me was. I think every mom feels this way, the good news is you are a great mom.

Answer 9

It's okay to feel that you've missed out on something or you're missing out on something by having a child. Because truthfully, you are missing out on things but that doesn't mean your life only has to be about being a mother. You're still your own person and you always will be. Yes, you do have a child to look after but if you can find someone to watch him, you can still go out and have a good time, but keep in mind that you do have responsibilities to return to. That's the biggest difference, the responsibility. You now have someone other than yourself to think about and that's hard to deal with but it's not something you have to go at alone. I'm sure there's other people in your circle of friends who are already mothers and are going through something similar to what you're going through. Plan a girls night out or something and have a good time.

Answer 10

I think this is normal. I have 18 month old twins. Some days I feel so overwhelmed and wonder what I am doing with 2 children.
Do you have help? Can you get away and have a day (or afternoon) to yourself? That is really important to do. Some will disagree, but I really believe that if I take care of myself, I can take care of my sons better.