What's wrong here?! This is the DUMBEST problem! Why don't my karate classmates like me? Three women in

Question

particular have always acted like they don't want to be bothered with me. They usually stand at the far left at the front of class. I just find a spot wherever. The last couple days I've been standing near the far left up front. Now they've moved to the far RIGHT - even when there's space near me and we're the same belt rank! Also, I usually practice my forms etc after class in the next room. I've asked them if they'd like to join. Now they've started practicing after class too but totally ignore me and won't ask if I want to join. I don't need to be asked. But they'll all ask each other, "Wanna practice our katas?" It's like they're ignoring me! I don't know why. I'm nice to them. Could it be a race thing? I'm black/they're white. Are people still THIS petty?

Thanks, all, for your encouragement! I got up the courage to talk to one of the women and she seemed shocked. She said there was not a thing wrong and, in fact, she liked me. Honestly, I'm a tad skeptical because they all seemed so blatantly trying to get away from me. But whatever. Whoever said life's too short was soooo right. I WON'T stress it anymore.

TLJAGUAR-

We actually line up by rank also. But they don't freak out if we're out of order.

Thanks, again!

Answer 1

Maybe you could practice at another studio, with people who aren't quite so immature as the ones you're stuck with now.

Answer 2

So you have no doubt that they are ignoring you? Maybe they are intimidated by you. Are you in the same age group as they are? I took Karate for 3 years and I found that most of the glass kept to their own age group. A good Sensi would notice this and make great effort to work with you or to find you a mate to practice with. You seem really bothered by this, I guess if I were you, I would come right out and ask them. Preferrably one at a time. Don't be nasty about it though. You could say something like. "Hey, I think you are really good and I'd love the opportunity to practice with you; Is there any reason why we couldn't spend some time working on our Katas together?" (You gave a compliment which everyone likes to hear and you asked an open ended question) She has to reply and so in return you will receive your answer.

Answer 3

There are still rude idiots in the world. It could be a race thing but more than likely they were already friends and are hanging onto eachother in class for support. Kids that take Karate will line up on the floor and nearly stand on top of one another. They crowd each other for support and don't know they are doing it. Adults will start class with a friend and use them as support. It makes it seem that they are only there with their friend to others. It's a (lack of) confidence thing.
You've made a good attempt to start conversation and they don't want to talk. Try one more time to befriend them and if it doesn't work them write them off. Ask them to help you with a part of you're kata that you are having problems with.
Good luck and Have Fun!

Answer 4

It could be that they have a problem with racism (you were very nice to call it petty). Or, it could be that they were friends before they started class, one of those cliques, where they do everything together, and don't let anyone else in.
I wouldn't worry too much about them, would you really want to hang out with them? Make friends with other people in the class. You will find someone there who is interested in getting to know you.
If what they are doing gets worse, blatant, talk privately to your Sensei. It will stop after that, I can guarantee it.

Answer 5

Karate click alert! I bet they are friends that are scared to show there flaws to others. Many of our beginners come in groups. usually only one stays. But when several stay and come up through the ranks together they tend to bond. Perhaps this is bad as others can feel excluded and they limit their workouts to each other with whom they are already familiar. They are really limiting themselves. I feel this is the most likely reason.
the next most likely reason seems to be racism. This is a real shame. I would say treat them with respect try to be friendly. If they continue to be unresponsive, try to ignore them. If they are racist you don't really need that sort of negativity anyway. If the racism becomes very evident please tell the head instructor about it privately, I am sure he/she does not want that sort of atmosphere in the dojo.

And to the gentleman with the "why did karate allow this,we do it this way in TKD" comment, the last TKD school that invited us to visit ( yes! in inter-style friendship between an Okinawan and Korean style does exist) had a kid there that stuck his hands down his gi to scratch his rear-end. How is that possible from an art as disciplined as TKD?
I will tell you how, there are no bad styles, just bad teachers. Please learn to drop your prejudgment of styles, you may actually learn something.

Answer 6

Have you considered the fact that you may be too good for them, in the sense, you may be a fast learner and they may be worried that you will get ahead of them over time if they let you practice with them. Most of the time, making a lone person feel bad is a very good way of screwing up their life, so don't worry about such issues and try finding someone else to practice your katas, i am sure they will try to be friends with you once you prove yourself superior to them in your class. Good Luck

Krishna
Research Associate
Aerospace Engineering

Answer 7

I don't know what to tell you b/c you did make an attempt to...shall I say, socialize? Anyway, I am going thru a situation myself. I am a black female and I work w/ a majority of foreigners whom I believe are trying to get rid of me. If I make a mistake, they join in a group and make fun of me. I am not the only human there, therefore others have made mistakes as well, but they just keep it on the down low and keep it moving. I have tried so hard to ignore these idiots. But when I see an opportunity, I take advantage. For example, one of the trouble-makers placed a note on a computer and he misspelled wafer (his spelling-waffer). So I simply took the sign down, marked out one of the f's and placed it back on the comp. But he is soooo perfect! Just try to smile, say hello and good-bye.

Answer 8

It may have to do with race, but not the way you are thinking. Unfortunately, there are many places where there is not alot of racial diversity. I was raised in such a place. My parents went out of their way to make sure I was exposed to "different" people, but most of my childhood friends were not. They find it uncomfortable to talk to someone that they view as totally different. They grew up thinking of black people in the context of the evening news, Micheal Jackson, or Snoop Dog! They think all black people hate them and are racist, are just strange, or are gang bangers.

We really have a long way to go as far as accepting others for who they are, and not based on color. Think of it this way, you may be changing their views, but it will take some time. Don't let it bother you too much, though, it is their loss, not yours!!

Answer 9

It's a shame that people would act so immature. Personally, I think you should just go your own way. Find some people in your class that you can practice with, or concentrate on solo practice. If you simply decide that it doesn't matter what their problem is and just focus on learning and having a good time, it's their loss for being concerned who they stand by. Enjoy your class, whatever is bothering them is their problem.

Answer 10

Yes people are still that petty. That is prevalent behavior in all sports groups. Get used to it or get out. It's just that simple. Sports isn't about actual sportsmanship at all; it's about politics. I am a 2 time world champion martial artist and I'm being very honest with you. Either learn to play the political games at the school you study from or stop studying.