My husband and I have been unable to conceive for over 10 years. We finally saved enough for IVF, but as soon as we gave the deposit and were set to start in Oct., we were asked if we would be interested in adopting a baby from a 16 year old girl who was not ready to raise the baby on own. The father has consented also and they are the same nationality as us. Now we are posed with the question of not doing IVF, or at least postponing it, or to not do the adoption. Does anyone have experience with this or any advice???
2006-08-29 14:52:02 · 6 answers · asked by Amy P 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I am 30 years old and my husband is 33.
2006-08-29 16:01:39 · update #1
My advice is to adopt the baby *and* go ahead with your IVF plans, if it's at all financially feasible. There's no telling how long it could take for a pregnancy to occur with IVF (I've heard stories of it happening with the first round, and stories of it taking years). Even if it takes a few months to a year, your adopted child would be old enough for a little sister/brother by then (some people tell you not to have two children very close together, but if their ages are within a year or two, it often helps them relate to each other instead of being constantly feuding siblings).
If you were approached and asked to adopt this baby, it seems like fate is dropping it into your lap. Whatever you do, I think you should adopt the baby, without a doubt. To me, it sounds as if this baby is meant for your family. :)
2006-08-29 15:43:07 · answer #1 · answered by ChiChi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you could do both, IVF does not guarantee you will get pregnant, no matter how many times you do it. But here is a baby that needs a loving home and parents and is pretty much guaranteed.
You could always adopt this baby and try the IVF in 2 or 3 years. Heck if you’re able you could adopt this baby and still do the IVF. It would be no different then a woman having a baby and getting pregnant again right a way.
2006-08-29 18:22:25 · answer #2 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Overall, the answers to this question are excellent. I would adopt for several reasons.
1. Certainty: You know you will have the child.
2. You have some control over the number of children. With IVF, you often get multiples and can at times be faced with the issue of selective reduction (which is very hard).
3. There is a child who needs you. While infants are normally placed with ease, it is nice to think of a child going to a loving family that knows how to save money for the future.
4. Tax breaks and work assistance: I do not for a second want to imply that this should be your primary consideration, but many states have a 5 - 10k adoption tax credit. Also, many employers will contribute money to an adoption (sometimes several thousand dollars). By contrast, IVF is not the same.
Good luck!
2006-08-31 07:21:32 · answer #3 · answered by Spork 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would go with the adoption. Why would you want to bring a baby into the world now when there is a baby waiting for you. Whatever choice you make, good luck with the baby!
2006-08-29 14:56:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me the only thing stoping you from the adoption is that you want to be "pregnant"......you will love the adopted baby just as much.....also what if you spend all that money on Ivf and it doesnt work? then both options are gone.......go with the baby he/she needs a loving home
2006-08-29 15:05:53 · answer #5 · answered by Do I know you? ya right LoL 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
try IVF if not work then go for adoption,
2006-09-01 13:51:17 · answer #6 · answered by mari-mar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋