i am 22 , financially stable, but my parents won't let me live on my own?

Question

i can afford to live on my own.
i am the only child and my parents don't wont me go
i grew up without them, and i feel guilty for leaving or whanting to leave.
they always include me in their future plans
i tried talking to them but they don't understand...all they say is that living alone is tough and borring.
i don't have a serious boyfriend (actually no bf at all) and i don't wanna live wtih a roommate....
are they right?
or should i just pack my bags and quiting asking their permission
i feel so guilty

Answer 1

Everyone needs to be independent of their parents and it is always hard on them when a child has grown up. If you feel you are ready and can stand on your own two feet then you should move out. They will have to understand that you have your own life. That being said it is quite different living alone and you may find it hard at times. Maybe you can come up with an agreement with your family that you will come by their place on a regular basis and have them over as well. That way you can still be a part of each others lives but you can have your own space. Good luck.

Answer 2

You should be out on your own. It will make falling in love with someone a whole lot easier. You won't have to think about what are mom & dad gonna say. You don't have to move far away, unless you really want too. Invite them to look at a couple of places with you. They will get the idea that you are grown up and need to live your life. I'm sure they will understand in time. You can still do things as a family but you should have your own life also. Good Luck.

Answer 3

There are several things going on here:
1) Your folks are concerned for your welfare.
2) They are afraid of having an empty nest.
3) As a young adult, you feel ready to leave the nest and want to be responsible for yourself including having your own place - you want to try out your wings.

Do you and your folks get along okay while you are living with them? It's understandable to want to be on your own - you are an adult now - but your folks are right, living alone is tough and lonely. If things are good at home you don't have to rush out and have your own place just to say you have your own place.

Try looking at a few apartments or rental houses and take your time until you find one you really like and want and not just to get out on your own. Find one close enough that you can visit with your parents or they can come and see you once in awhile. Keep in touch by phone.

It's up to you so don't feel guilty if you do decide to move out on your own as long as you don't neglect your parents once you do.

Buy the first season of "That Girl" starring Marlo Thomas on DVD and watch it with your folks. This lucyesque comedy from the 70s about a young woman moving to the city (long before Murphy Brown) on her own against the wishes of her sympathetic mother and over protective father and doing just fine will get the message across subtly, along with many shared laughs.

Remember two things: Most parents have only the best interest of their children at heart and having may not always be as good as wanting but having your own place is wonderful.

Answer 4

Look at the phrasing of your question.

What do you mean they wont LET you go?

You are 22 years old and you're an adult. You said yourself that you can afford to live on your own. You can go if you want to...you dont need a permission slip.

I can only assume they're making you feel bad for wanting to leave. Once again, you said it yourself...you feel guilty. This stems from your not growing up with them. They probably feel guilty too. They love you and in a way they're trying to make up for lost times. And you love them too, and you know how much they need you, so you end up feeling guilty for wanting your own things in life.

You shouldnt!

Part of being a good parent is knowing when to let go. You obviously want to go so they shouldnt be afraid of that. Just because you're not living in the same house does not mean that your bond of love changes! And as good parents they should encourage your independence...and be supportive enough to catch you when you need catching.

You have to reassure them that location does not change love. It doesnt sound like you want to move across the country, so you'll probably be close enough and will be visiting enough anyway. Remind them that you're a woman and you need to learn to be independent. They wont be around all your life! Tell them that your bonds wont change when you leave, and at this point in your life you really need their support.

To be honest, and sad as it may sound, it really shouldnt matter what they say. It sounds like this is something you have to do, so you just have to do it...and dont let others stop you. Dont get mad if they tell you they dont support your decision and you shouldnt (or cant) leave.

Tell them you understand how they feel and you still love them and you'll keep in close contact even though you're gone. They'll come around.

Your guilt might still override you, so you might not do anything. But you'd only be prolonging the inevitable. They're not going to "let" you go until you decide to leave on your own. Be as loving to them as possible to ease their worries, but be brave enough to make your move.

Answer 5

What do you mean you grew up without them?

Well, you are techinically an adult and can leave without their permission. In this situation, I'd weigh the pluses/minuses. Only you can decide this. Because you're an only child, they are having trouble letting you go. They can't predict whether you'll be bored on your own, and who's to say living alone is tough? It's different for everyone.

If you really want to live alone, then go for it. Your parents will eventually have to accept your decision...good luck.

Answer 6

The reason they're like this, if you don't already know, is the fact that your parents are so attached to you. You are their only child. You'll be leaving them, and they won't have anyone at home. After having someone home for 22 years, it's hard to just let them go.

Talk to them about it. Explain why you want to move out. If they don't agree, then yes. If you really want to live separate than your parents, just buy/rent an apartment, then let them know.

Answer 7

Be loving but firm. If you are ready to move out on your own, by all means, do it! Sometimes it is just hard for parents to let go. You are past the age when most people have left home. Go for it, just try to let Mom and Dad know you have made up your mind in a nonhostile way. They will get used to it after awhile.
Good luck

Answer 8

First things first.You are 22 and I know you love your parents but they need to understand that you will always be their baby regardless. Now you need to sit them down reassure them that you're not leaving them, you are a grown woman now and need to go face the world sometime.You don't need a boyfriend to make you complete but you do need friends and family for support especially family okay. I feel your pain and trust me you're going to be fine.You seem like a fine young lady,so I would give it time and maybe they will come around. You're 22 and that does not mean you need to wait until you are 30 until they come around okay.You are an adult so make your own decisions without having them kicking you out of their will or future plans.I can be your friend too so feel free to contact me because I can lend an ear if you need it. Goodluck on this matter and let me know how it's going.

Answer 9

You're 22. Your life was in your own hands the minute you turned 18.

Don't feel quilty. Every child HAS to move out at some point and sweetie, you're way overdue. Stop asking for their permission. You are an adult and don't need your parents permission anymore.

Answer 10

I really find this question a puzzle, simply because I understand both sides, since I am a Mom...........Most parents, deepending on the relationship with the child, don't want them to leave the nest too soon............However, you did state that you grew up without them...which tells me that your parents must be rich, and were busy while you were growing up, kinda on your own(w/a nanny).Anyway it could be guilt on their part and they want to get to know the real you now......On the other hand I can understand your wanting to be on your own........Why not agree on your renting a place on a 6 months lease close to home and see how it goes?..You want to leave on a good note..You will always need them and they you................Good luck, Luck!.