My friend and I go to the same college together but, we are taking separate classes. Classes started last week so, I had to buy books. My friend's best friend offered my a ride home. I'm taking a lot of classes so, I was carrying four bags of books with me. I was supposed to meet my freind and her best friend near their class when it finished. So, I did that when struggling to hold four bags full of heavy books. My friend had to go to the Admissions and Records office to do something. So, we walked there. Then, we walked to the car. Neither my friend or her best friend offered to help me with the bags. They saw I was struggling with them and it was about 90 degrees outside. I know it is partially my fault not to assert my needs and say something. But, do you think what they did was rude?
2006-08-29 12:51:55 · 39 answers · asked by brooke992002 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I have a trick for situations like this and it has worked quite well. DON'T assert yourself - and see what the person does. That's when you know their TRUE NATURE and what to expect from them in the future. It also gives hints on what's worth it to DO FOR THEM.
People never figure out about this because I don't let on. I don't say ANYTHING. It simply comes out in terms of how much energy and interest I put into a specific relationship or friendship.
2006-08-29 12:59:40 · answer #1 · answered by moondogy 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes it was a rude for your friends to see you struggling with four heavy bags and not offer to help. It seems like they only cared about themselves. Since they didn't have to carry the bags the didn't stop and think about how that makes you feel. Take it as a lesson learned not all "friends" are true and caring. A true friend would have stopped and taken a bag.
2006-08-29 13:03:52 · answer #2 · answered by Shadow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If one or both are "really good" friends, then help should have been at the very least offered, if not acted upon, unless they too,were over-burdened. If they had empty hands, you know the old saying-"with friends like that.......". Maybe you could add a new friend that wouldn't mind helping sometimes. Just wondering if these friends asked you for something similar,or if the "quiet " shoe was on the other foot at any time...hmmm.(just read felix' ans. BOY- did he wake up on the wrong side of the airplane, or whattt!!!!)
2006-08-29 13:09:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think so. I have to learn to assert my needs as well but even still, if someone sees you in need, they should offer to help.
I would do it if I saw someone struggling like that and I'm sure that you probably would too.
I try to help out even when I see someone that I'm not with or don't know struggling like that.
By the way, good luck with your classes. It seems like you are going to have quite a time of it.
2006-08-29 13:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by Friend 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it was rude. If each person had helped you with just one bag, it would not have been such a struggle. I imagine you felt a bit resentful, but I think it was a good lesson for you. Now you know what kind of support, kindness and friendship to expect from these people.
2006-08-29 12:59:45 · answer #5 · answered by Zelda Hunter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not to take this to a different subject, but why, why, would you buy books at the bookstore..thats just asking to get ripped off. But since you did, I don't really think it was their place to have to carry your crap. Sure, it would have been nice if they had offered (and probably should have) but you're the one that chose to catch a ride with them, and if you had driven yourself you could have not had to walk all over campus.
2006-08-29 14:49:48 · answer #6 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've learned that if you need something, you should ask for it. You can't expect people to read your mind and know what you need. Perhaps they were thinking about others things and didn't notice. Maybe they just didn't feel like carrying your books so they pretended to ignore your dilema. Regardless, you should have asked. I'm sure they would have said yes.
2006-08-29 13:40:06 · answer #7 · answered by shybusch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
indeed friend sometimes react weirdly, as some pays attention to this point and some don't ...and may be they just don't. but in my point of view I can consider whether they were confused with certain subject and they even couldn't see the light of the day or they weren't deeply inside them wanting to give a hand...and maybe u can just tell them in some way...u had a tough day in having these books in ur arms all day long...
2006-08-29 13:40:08 · answer #8 · answered by lolo m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was a little rude they didn't offer to help, but sadly now a days most people don't even think about helping others. Hope your school year gets better!
2006-08-29 12:56:01 · answer #9 · answered by maglitejenn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not necessarily rude. A bit inconsiderate, but not rude. I think that it would be rude if they didnt help you intentionaly for reasons of entamosity or what have you. But technacaly, they arent obligated to help you. I would have helped you though. It just seems like the right thing to do.
2006-08-29 13:10:23 · answer #10 · answered by Bobby the WOOD Heenan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋