the bride and groom don't want gifts or money?

Question

My best friend is getting married and she and her fiance don't want people to give them gifts or money because they think it's greedy. So how do they people know not to bring anything? Should they write something on the invitation? Should they spread it by word of mouth?
How would everyone know that this is what they wanted?

Answer 1

I would warn the couple that many people will still give them gifts. Its not greedy for the couple to want them or accept them either. One solution is to tell them to set up a website with the I Do Foundation. That way people can still give a gift for the couple, which many guests feel obligated or want to do, but the gift will go to a charity. The couple can start a charity registry where guests give money that way.

Information about guests is normally not given on the invitation. It's normally included on the bridal shower invitations. However, in this case I think it would be appropriate if on the wedding invitation it states "Your Presence is enough for us. Please, no gifts!"

Answer 2

some human beings imagine registries are cheesy, so that they don't sign up everywhere. Others, like those human beings, do not choose something, so that they received't anticipate presents in any respect. yet others, like probably the bride, ought to come from cultures the position bridal showers are literally not custom, and she or he's in simple terms having one because her American acquaintances are throwing it. And with different cultures funds IS the classic present, yet that's oftentimes for the marriage present. For this bride, in basic terms get something she'd like. And even as uncertain, bypass with food/consumables... operating example, an collection of teas from some unique area, or some soaps produced from a plant that grows domestically.

Answer 3

It is difficult to meld two households together sometimes and it works out for the best to request no gifts. Don't put it directly on the invitation but if they are sending out RSVP cards before hand, a note tucked in there is always handy, or in with directions to the wedding location. Go ahead and set up a card/gift table because there is always a few folks who like to get something for the occasion - to them that's the tradition and they would feel strange if they came empty handed. My fiance and I plan to mention no gifts at our wedding next year, simply because we have joined 2 homes and have anything we ever would need.

Answer 4

My husband and I received gifts and money for our wedding, but this was not something we were after when we were preparing our wedding. It was the mother's wish that we be given gifts (my mother-in-law informed me that she was getting back all that she had given by our receiving gifts). The tradition of giving gifts at a wedding is so that the new couple have some things to start their life together. Gifts used to be more like quilts made to cover their beds and there were dowry's given to the happy couple and the woman used to keep a hope chest, filled with bed clothes that she made (some with the help of mother, grandmother, etc), quilts, towels. If they don't want gifts given, don't register for gifts. Let the word spread that they wish that monies be given to their favorite charity. But they should not put a note in their invitations, to make mention of a gift is to invite gifts.

Answer 5

I agree it is not normally considered in good taste to mention gifts in the invitation. However, when I sent invitations to a few friends to join me for a birthday lunch, I was worried they would think I was hoping for gifts from them, and I wrote on the invitation "No gifts please, I just want your company". They took me at my word and we all had a very nice lunch together.

Many people are likely to ask the bride's mother for example what gift the couple would like, and so it would be appropriate for her to say that they don't want any gifts, and perhaps suggest a charity instead (or choice of two or three, say one children, one animal, one environmental or something).

Answer 6

I recently had the same trouble with sending out invitations. I had a peice of great advice that I hope you extend to your friend. Some people like to give gifts, so it is rude to ask them not to. It is also quite presumptuous to assume that people are planning to give gifts. Just don't say anything about gifts in the invitation (the actual proper way to do things anyway) and let people do what they want to do.

Answer 7

Word of mouth - never mention gift/no gifts in the invitations, save-the-dates, or in writing in general. See www.etiquettehell.com - check in the forums (it's free to sign up). They should resign themselves to the fact that they'll still get gifts - some people just feel awkward showing up with nothing.

Just want to repeat this - never, ever, is any mention of gifts or lack of gifts, or contributions, or any reference to money, money trees, wishing wells or dollar dances, to appear in the invitation. Not in the invite, not in the directions, not written down anywhere. Ever. Unless you don't give a crap about proper etiquette. Then you can do whatever the hell you want.

Answer 8

Regardless of what the bride & groom want, people still want to commemorate their wedding with some sort of symbolic gift. They'll be ending up with a bunch of useless stuff unless they come to accept this fact. So here's a suggestion: Why don't they pick a charity (Habitat for Humanity seems appropriate), a local family in need (might have lost everything in recent fire/struggle due to catastrophic illness), a local school (looking to the future), or the global community (donate a sheep at Heifer International). But, rest assured, people want to give, so by golly, let them. There's enough need in the world.

Answer 9

It is VERY RUDE to mention gifts AT ALL in the invitation, even if it is to indicate that they prefer not to receive any!

It should be spread by word of mouth.

If they receive some gifts anyways (which they will), they must be gracious about it and write thank you notes.

It is also POOR ETIQUETTE to have any kind of "redirect to charity" message, or charity registry. (Well-intentioned, but still wrong!)

Answer 10

putting it on the ivites is tackyy and still considered bad etiquette.Some people will believe that your friend thinks whatever the person coming would buy is not good enough.Tell your friend that part of having a wedding is getting free gifts and she does not look greedy because most people know that you have to bring giftts if you go.Id say word of mouth is best.