Online Romance?

Question

I was wondering how most people felt about finding a significant other online (boyfriend or girlfriend)...Is it unsafe and looked down on or are there some success stories?

Answer 1

People with bad experiences tend to be a lot louder than those who found exactly what they were looking for. Online Romance? I know of several stories in both extremes. The actual "success rate" does tend to be a little higher than just random meetings in public.

I would advise that you limit you connections to locations where the possibility of meeting in person is good. It does little good to fall in love with someone 9 time zones away. Until you meet, you are really just words to each other.

In terms of meeting: don't do anything stupid. Meet in a public place and both should bring a friend or two for the initial meeting. Openness and honesty are a must.

Just a few words in parting: Most physical abuse is still done by people who know you and whom you trust. Most bad blind dates are usually nothing more than disappointments. The Web is a tool, no different than any tool. It can be a great help if used correctly or a weapon if abused.

Answer 2

There are some sucess stories, but I wouldn't count on it, for finding the love of my life.
Matchmakers have been working for centuries, trying to bring people together. I'm sure the cavemen, and women, did the same thing, but I'm sure their prices were much lower. lol.
I think it's not how you meet that counts. but who you meet.
If you are a bit shy, and aren't all that social, and have a limited list of friends, then the Internet could help.
But always use it with caution too. If you do that, then, it might just work for you.

Answer 3

I met a man online and he moved 800 miles to date me. It has been a year and we love the time we have together. Our relationship continually grows.

They key to a successfull online relationship is honesty. Meeting someone online who is honest is like finding a needle in the haystack. But yes there are some needles in the haystack.

Answer 4

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/uE3vQ

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 5

there are a lot of scam artists looking for lonely folks to take advantage of. if you go for an OL relationship, be careful and take your time. i think OL relationships are better because you'll connect on a mental level. looks fade with time, but the mind rarely does.

Answer 6

Potentially dangerous.

Answer 7

I BELIEVE IN ON LINE LOVE, I BEEN SO MADLY IN LOVE WITH A GUY FROM EGYPT,AND FINELY WE GOING TO MEET IN DECEMBER AFTER 4 YEAR ALMOST. WHY IS IT NOT SAFE, YOU WILL KNOW HIM ALOT BETTER BEFOR YOU MEET HIM OR HER.AND YOU CAN TELL IF THEY ARE LIEING TO YOU, AT LEASE I CAN. I SAY GO FOR IT, FOLLOW YOUR DREAM

Answer 8

I've heard of a few success stories (a few, for example, are listed on Warner Brothers' web site for "You've Got Mail"), but sadly, not every online relationship ends up working out. What tends to happen, more often than not, is that two people who meet online and get into a relationship live a fair distance apart, and then there eventually arise all sorts of issues related to the nature of long-distance relationships.

For those who want to find someone online, I'd recommend the online matchmaker sites such as Yahoo Personals, UDate, True.com and so forth, because there you can tailor your search to your specific geographical area. Evan Marc Katz wrote a book called "I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating" (ISBN 1-58008-571-7), which I highly recommend.

One major pitfall to avoid with this approach, though, is that it's all too easy to fall for someone quickly, only to have it turn out that the person you meet is not what you expect. I once had a trial account on a Toronto-based matchmaking site, and someone sent me an e-mail saying her name was Wendy and that she'd seen my profile. When I responded, the girl said her name was in fact Tracy and that she hadn't sent me any message, going on to indicate that she'd received several other e-mails from people who had been similarly suckered. Well, I was hurt like you wouldn't believe--whoever had sent me that initial message had been playing not only with *my* feelings, but Tracy's as well.

Another form of matchmaker site spam comes from people whose profiles say they're from one place, but who send you a message saying they're from some other place. I once received several messages on cupid.com in which the person said in their profile that they were from somewhere in the States, but said in their e-mails that they were from Russia. Not only did I report the message to the cupid.com administrators, but I responded to the messages...in *German!*--and blocked the senders. Apparently the senders eventually got the message, because I haven't seen any e-mails from them since.

There are several things that those who want to go the long-distance relationship (LDR) route need to decide first. How far apart do they live from their partner? Do they have the budget to travel back and forth that distance? How many times a year? They might eventually be allowed to stay at their significant other's place once a level of mutual trust has been established, but I'd recommend they stay at a local hotel on at least their first visit--and can they afford that? For how many nights? And in the process, how many nights of work can they afford to take off? What about long distance phone bills?

Secondly, in an LDR there's a set of hazards that need to be addressed. In her book "Are You the One for Me?", Barbara De Angelis calls LDRs a "compatibility time bomb", i.e. an obstacle in a person's outer world that makes it difficult to have a lasting relationship with a particular person. She spends about four pages talking about the potential pitfalls of LDRs, but I'll give you a few highlights:

* A long-distance relationship makes it easy for you to think the relationship is much better than it is, because you don't spend consistent quality time together.

* The goal of two lovers in a "normal" relationship should be to become more loving and intimate with one another. The goal of two long-distance lovers becomes to see each other again.

A few of the ways in which this compatibility time bomb can affect you:

* You don't get to see what your partner is really like because you have a tendency to put your best self forward. It's easy to hide the difficult parts of your personality for seventy-two hours, but the problem is that you never really get to know one another. How does your mate react in a pressure situation? Under stress? In a crisis? All these situations, and more, reveal something of that person's character, and it's only when you're with that person on a consistent basis that you can experience such dimensions of that person.

* You avoid dealing with problem areas. What if you fly in to be with your significant other for a weekend and he/she says something that upsets you? Do you confront him/her with it and risk spoiling your weekend, or do you forget about it? Most people choose to avoid the confrontation. The problem with this approach is that two people in an LDR never learn to solve problems together.

* You have an unrealistic view of your compatibility. If you only have three days with your partner, you will treat it like a mini-vacation. But this will give you a very unrealistic picture of your relationship. You might actually enjoy the excitement of the fun weekend more than you do your partner and not even know it.

These won't necessarily destroy the relationship unless you're unprepared for them or are unwilling to deal with them.

For an LDR to evolve into a healthy relationship, both partners will eventually have to live in the same place--that's the only way you can know if you're compatible. The most successful LDRs are those in which the couple treats the relationship like it is a full-time romance.

I had a few online flings myself before I met my ex-girlfriend online. Of the flings, the one that taught me the most regarding the pitfalls involved was that if you're going to look for an LDR, your potential mate shouldn't live so far away from you that you live in incompatible time zones. I live in Ottawa and the girl lived in the Seattle area (a three-hour difference), and I usually stayed up to chat with her until *she* went to bed--6 AM my time.

My LDR with my ex lasted a little over two years, and over time we experienced firsthand a lot of the pitfalls De Angelis mentions. Even though we talked on the phone or via text chat almost every night, Internet conditions and our respective schedules permitting (I was still on dialup in those days), we still saw each other face-to-face a grand total of only about ninety days, which I don't think is really enough to get to know your partner's character.

Would I go for another LDR at some point? Probably not. I'd rather go with someone much closer to home. I'm trying out some of the online matchmaking sites I mentioned above, although I haven't had any success so far. That's not to say the online *approach* won't work. Basically, all I'm saying is, be careful, both in the searching process and once you've met your potential partner. An online relationship *can* work if you both do everything it takes to make it work.

And while my breakup from my ex was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, I have no regrets about what I learned from and through her. In anything in life, every little bit of experience stacks up on the experience you've gained before, so that you become better at it. If you try something and it doesn't work, then you now know what doesn't work, and you can then change your approach again and again until you find one that does work.

Answer 9

don't know of any