I have a lot of cousins, aunts, uncles etc. here in the same city. When I was a kid we were close but as time went by, they distanced themselves from my immediate family. I plan on going to law school next year, but for some reason they think I am already in law school. Lately, I get all these calls from family that I have not even heard from in years. Of course, they want my legal advice (they dont' know that I'm not allowed to since I don't have a license yet). I don't help them - I hold a grudge against them. When my dad needed a job, my cousin didn't want to hire him - he hired a stranger instead. I invited them to both my high school and college graduations, and they didn't show up. I invited them to my wedding, and again, most didn't show. When they have family gatherings, they don't invite us. Suddenly they want to talk to me? Is it wrong to hold a grudge?The only people that have always been there are my immediate family and my in-laws.
2006-08-29 11:45:36 · 13 answers · asked by missy81 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
that's perfectly fine. they chose to push you away, not the other way around. Be happy with your immediate family, they are only seeking your help to benfit their needs, they really don't care about you, why should you care about them. When you are successfull they will be there to kiss your a.ss
2006-08-29 11:52:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not good @ holding grudges. WHY? You are using energy that could be put to a good cause.
Be Honest tell them you can't give legal advice until you have completed Law School.
On each of those occasions above you were suppose to receive a gift--If they are asking for FREE Consultation maybe the are did not have the money for a gift for your HS, college and Wedding.
To hold a grudge--you need energy. I refuse to hold grudges...I can use my energy for doing something constructive....
Family is family...be polite, but keep @ a distant without holding a grudge--
Good Luck @ Law School.
2006-08-29 11:58:39 · answer #2 · answered by Joy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't hold a grudge, you are only internalizing your feelings which can affect your health in a negative way. You are still a young adult and have not realized that this type of thing goes on in all families. The important thing is that you have your husband and your immediate family and your husbands family to support you, and you can be there for each other. There are always going to be people in all of our lives who are basically users and only want us to be in their lives when they want something, free legal advise, money, housing; what ever the case may be. This is an unfortunate occurrence, but it definitely does happen. I have watched it time and time again, in my own family and in the families of my friends. It is a difficult lesson to learn, and a lot to swallow, but holding a grudge will only bring bad things back on you, bad Karma; if you will. Don't help them, be gracious but do not fall for the crap or you will never get out. You obviously cannot depend on any of them for anything, so you do not owe them anything but graciousness. You hang on to the family you have built with your husband, his parents and your immediate family, and leave the rest of them "to stew in their own juice," as the old saying goes. Good luck to you and yours, have a good evening!
2006-08-29 12:02:02 · answer #3 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not hold a grudge, it is not worth it, as far as legal advice, all you have to say is, I am not in law school yet? And when you do graduate, they can call your law firm, it is a fee of course.
Leave all that family stuff alone, someone has to be the bigger person.
2006-08-29 11:58:50 · answer #4 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Their desire to talk with you is your chance to repair your family relationships with them. If you respond the same way as they have treated you in the past, then you will break your relationship with them permanently.
It's not just a matter of holding a grudge or not. It's whether you are going to have any kind of relationship with them in the future or not.
2006-08-29 12:04:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, in fact I think you should tell them how you feel. I think that the quality of people you have around you sets an example for your children. If you allow yourself to be used by people like that you are showing them and yourself that you are impotent when it comes to saying no.
You could talk to them and see what they want if they honestly are extending a hand of friendship, then decide for yourself if you can forgive. But if they are trying to use you then just walk away.
2006-08-29 12:00:45 · answer #6 · answered by jadeaaustin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nah dont hold a grudge . Its a waste of your energy. Just be wise and keep saying you just cant help them. They will get the picture pretty soon and fade back out of your life. m
2006-08-29 12:05:38 · answer #7 · answered by Mache 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best revenge is to completely forgive him..Tell him that you forgive him and (here's the kicker) you are a better man because of him..Sounds like a rough thing to do..doesn't it?...In the ladder of life, it sure puts you a few rungs above him..Think about it...let go of your hate...:)
2016-03-27 00:33:57 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like they are trying to use you hold that grudge because that was worng for what they did to you dad thats family
2006-08-29 12:03:15 · answer #9 · answered by ginger p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to them only if you have to, stay close to thoe who care.
2006-08-29 11:53:42 · answer #10 · answered by Sharon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋