What can I do to stop mothers from dumping their kids on me?

Question

I am so glad Summer is over and I don't have these 2 mothers dumping their kids on me during the day. Now they want them to come over after school and come home for bed or dinner. These mothers would go shopping and never tell me. There kids would ask for food and lunch. I would have to take off during the day with my daughter to get away from them. The one mother use to not answer her cell phone to get her kid. Another mother would have her daughter and 2 year old over my house at 7:30 in the morning. Don't these Mother's realize that when the kids don't come for lunch, they are burdening me. Its not just me, but a couple of my friends have to be unwitting babysitters for these useless Mom's. I don't blame the kids, I blame the useless Mom's. What can we do to stop this?

Answer 1

Be unavailable. If the parent stops by in the morning, say, "Oh, I was just on my way out." (even if you weren't). They send the kids over after school- you are heading to an errand. Refuse to feed them other than a snack... you aren't being compensated, so you have no obligation to provide lunch or dinner for someone else's child. I also am betting that these same parents would be the first to sue you if their child ate something they were allergic to or got hurt at your house while playing. It is too much of a liability these days. How sad, isn't it? Anyway, flat out say that now that summer is over, you are going to change things. If you want to, you could offer to watch a child- for a FEE. You shouldn't be dumped on just because you are home with your child. The occasional watching, say in an emergency, is ok... but when people start using you for babysitting without an agreement, then it has gone too far. Set the boundaries. I had a hard time with this since I am a preschool teacher and a generally non-confrontational person. I had to learn that people will take and take until you stop them from taking. It is not fair that you have to practically hide out in your house in order to avoid you neighbors, but unless you take a stand, that is exactly what you will be doing. Tell the parents (politely) that you would love to have their children over, but that money is tight. You'd be willing to watch them for a little while (make up a contract of the terms you both agree to) in exchange for money. This will either send the parent looking for another sucker, or you'll start getting paid. Good luck!

Answer 2

Reality will hit them eventually when DCF gets involed.

To be honest mothers who leave their kids off at a babysitter's are just lazy and rude, but there are some things you can do to fix some things:

#1: On certain days of the week, tell the mothers that you are being burdened by supplying their children with lunch and tell them to give their kids lunch to take with them and eat at lunch time. On some days you could do something small for them like sandwiches or something similar.

#2: You could get another job duing the summer incase your income is lower than you would like it. If you get a job it may make you unavailble for some times forcing the mothers to take their kids wherever they do go.

#3: You could become an entrepreneur and open your own business year-round. With the help of some friends or a few employees you could definitely work something out. I actually went to a family's house who ran a daycare center out of their house. Very nice re-borns, they did a lot. Although they didn't employee anyone else it was quite something. If you can organize something and would like to do it it could be beneficial in the long run for you.

But now that I think about it from reading other answers, you aren't being paid as dolphin moma said. With that in mind you have exactly 0 obligation to them. NOTHING. Zip. Nada. If you don't want to have the kids over just say "Sorry, this is not a business as recognized by the town and state and therefore I can't babysit for you considering the circumstances I watch them under. And besides, it is probably not good that you are doing this. Babysitting places have to be monitored by the state (at least where I'm from) and be registered of course. And since you are not running an established, organized, registered business you don't have to do anything for them. If you wish to discontinue service to the kids just give the parents one week's notice as that should be good time for them to at least do something in their state of dismay.

Answer 3

For one, don't answer the door when they knock.

For another, simply address this issue with the adults. Say something like, "Gosh it's fun for Billy to be here during the day, but I have other plans, so I he won't be able to come over tomorrow". Also, if they do send their kids over, ask the mothers very specifically where they will be reachable during the day, in case of emergency.

If that doesn't work, start sending them invoices...Even young babysitters make $5 an hour, and I don't think that these other parents would be prepared to pay that!

Answer 4

You just have to say NO. Say I've chosen not to babysit anymore. That's what I did, I had a couple of people dumping their kids off on me all the time. I just mentioned in casual conversation that I was done watching other people's kids, they got the hint and stopped calling me to see if they could drop off the kids. If they don't get the hint from you mentioning it and ask anyway, just say, "Sorry, but I can't." And leave it at that.

Answer 5

Grow some balls & say NO! Don't let them guilt you into saying yes. Tell them to hire a babysitter or pay you $10 an hour per child. Maybe you will either get some extra money or they will start taking care of their own kids!

Answer 6

Just don't answer the door, and if the mom doesn't answer the phone leave a message and tell her if she doesn't call you within 5 minutes or whatever you are going to call the police and say she abandoned her kids with you. I would say just Don't answer the door, or if they come over send them home and tell them that you have plans today.

Answer 7

Sounds like somone is being used, and you need to tell them something. And I would not hold back. Do these mother's pay you, or not pay enough. Even if they paid good, I still wouldn't put up with that sh**. You need to drop them, and fast. Your kids come first, and you need to focus on them, not the others.

Answer 8

Walk up to their door (stop calling) let them know you've had your fill & you will no longer watch these children. Tell them you are not a day care & don't appreciate being treated like one. Even at that day cares wouldn't allow such behavior tp continue they expect to be paid!
Tell them as you told us!!
Go get em!

Answer 9

What you can do is learn how to say no. You're in charge of your life and have every right to put your foot down. You're allowing them to take advantage of you by making yourself available to them as a sitter and they probably don't give a darn about how you feel about it.

Answer 10

i think you are being taken advantage of i would just tell them that you have a life and your not a free daycare i wouldnt be concern about te friendship because once they may you the dumping ground they didnt consider the friendship and that you have a life of your own.so just tell them you feel taken advantage of and mopve on they either see it your way are you see your way for your self good luck