My daughter is pregnant what can i do?

Question

My daughter she is 15 and she is pregnant she just turned 15 yestturday i dont know what to do and it was a forced sex and i really dont know what to do i am 38 and i want to help my daughter as much as i can but i dont know what to do with the baby when its born . Please someone answer

I am also pregnant

i filed a report but since she didnt push him off right away the was no charge exept he cant be near her or the baby at any giving time and abortion is off our minds, i have also a 13 year old daughter 5 year old daughter and a 17 year old son and my husband Luke. So it is hard on all of us

Answer 1

I think adoption would be an excellent option for your daughter. If she was assaulted sexually, trying to care for an infant and finish school will only be more traumatizing on her. You should support her and get her couseling. It could even be an Open adoption, where she could keep in contact with the adoptive parents, and they could send her pictures and updates. At least she could continue with school and go on to college without disrupting the entire family. Also, I would contact your District Attorney and continue to push the police to make an arrest! If at ANY point she told him No, Stop, Don't, Get off of me! It was RAPE. You need to legally get this guy's paternal rights revoked! You don't want him trying to show up later wanting visitation or custody.
***I don't know if you're a Christian or not, but I strongly recommend that you take it to God in prayer! (He will bless you no matter what you decide.) Good luck to you all.

Answer 2

Firstly, if it was forceed sex take her to the police station & doctor and report the rape. Even if it happened a while ago, it needs to be reported. Then, get a restraining order against the creep who did that to her.

Then, talk to her. Honestly and openly. She's probably terrified and doesn't know what to do. While abortion was never the right choice for me, it may be something to consider. It's a choice she needs to make and she needs to have all the answers to make the choice that is right for her. Her future is on the line right now in so many ways.

I was just a little older when I got pregnant the first time due to my own choices. I was terrified. I thought my entire life was ruined and that I would never get to do anything...including graduate. I was an honor student so that scared me to death. My mom kept saying she would support whatever decision I made, no matter what. Even if she disagreed she would support me. I can't tell you how much that helped. She found a counselor (I think via Luthuren Family Services) who could talk to me about abortion, adoption and parenting. I got a "Baby Think It Over" to take home and see what I was in for, if I kept the baby.

Before I ever had that appointment with the counselor I'd been to Planned Parenthood. My local PP was crappy. That's all I'll say on that.

Make sure she knows what all her options are!!! Do not force her into any decision, or it will haunt her for the rest of her life.

If she decides to keep it, you will have to help her. A lot. Help her stay in school. Seek an alternative school that has daycare on site AND provides a real education, not just parenting classes. She needs strong math, english & computer skills. She needs to graduate with skills that can help her get a real job, not something that is a dead end road.

There is tons of assistance out there for teen parents and she should take advantage of every last program and take every last dime she can. Anything that gives her a real chance at a real future AND a future for her baby.

If she chooses adoption, being active in picking her child's adoptive parents will help her feel good about her decision. Keeping contact via letters (and maybe visits) is great and helps reaffirm her decision.

If she chooses abortion, help her talk about her feelings. She could become depressed, even years later. Keep the lines of communication open with her always.

I wish I could give you both a hug. It's a hard road, but if she decides to raise her child let her know it's not a dead end like I thought it was. There is a bright light and a real future if you keep working hard (and work harder) to get there. It's not easy, but eventually you look back and can say, "Yea, I did that."

Answer 3

The first thing that you should do is find out how your daughter feels about the pregnancy. Once you have established that, you need to take into consideration her decision... One thing that I do not understand is that if it was forced sex and no protection was used, why did she not use the after morning pill to prevent getting pregnant? Maybe she does not know about it but it is pretty advertised out there... Second, if she is only a few weeks, under 9 weeks, maybe she could take the abortion pill and not need to actually visit a clinic to abort (of course, if that is an option that you are considering) - second, adoption is another way of not having to abort the child and instead providing him/her with a family... Or your only choice would be staying with the baby and raising the baby but making sure that if she wanted to keep, you cut her no slack in the sense of raising your grandchild, but you making her raise her "own" child and teaching her and you being a grandmother only, not the child's parent... that is what many parents do as a mistake that they take these grandchildren and raise them and take away any responsibility to the actual teenage parent., I mean, she can go to school and get a part time job and something is better than nothing, but you have to teach her that being a parent is not easy and if you make it easy for her, then she will never learn that.... You cannot babysit just because she wants to "hang out" and/or be with friends, that is over, you need to show her that - - - if she wants this baby, she needs to realize that she will have another life to take care of and that she will be turning, overnight, from a teenager to a woman/parent and that her teenage life will be gone because now, she will have to grow up..... Her good parenting, will depend on YOU - - -

Answer 4

Start with the education of the baby ( how she got pregnant even if you think she knows )she is just a child and just as nervous as you .
I I have worked with so many young girls that by just asking the question shows you have started to talk you are by far ahead of the MOM who runs away.
Next get a Dr. that works with single pregnant girls they understand more than anyone the emotional needs of her and your family.
Don't judge her she has already done that and will do it over and over.
Next keep talking and be open with her and she will open with you
Don't be afraid to tell your friends they will support you both the way you want. Be negative they will be that for you so choose your mood wisely.
As the months pass you find many new feelings. Keep, adopt
get a counselor to discuss this with you and your daughter.
It is a decision that needs to be brought up .
If you have more family member at home get them involved the more support the better.
If you keep the baby then get her parenting classes for the single MOM if not in your town try to get one started it will pay off .
As for the force part it's called rape or date rape think about getting help for this also. If she knows the boy then tell his parents you get junk for it but he needs to own up also. If he is over 18 turn him in he will say not me more than one guy knew her just offer a DNA he will back down or proof will be there.
whatever do not try to do this alone or the two of you get as much help possible help is out there in hospitals, churches, schools,
you are by far not the only ones or will you be last ones.
If you are in a small town adoption is a wonderful idea, open adoption is nice you know the parents they go to. Hundreds and hundreds of people want a child you may be one that needs one also. But this is her child her decision please help her decide not decide for her
Keep open to change and do not be afraid and you will be alright.
good luck I wish you the best.
Your other info tellyour OB so they can take care of you and your family may become tight the 17 year old may feel the most confused if a boy . Your OB is really the one that cn be the saving source so call him or her today
I wish I could help more so ask more questions so I will knwo you are doing well

Answer 5

More than anything, be there for her. She needs her mother more than ever.

Please don't pressure her into getting an abortion. Go to your phone book or on the net; there are agencies that can help. I would suggest a Catholic charities org. because they are so much against abortion that they really do help every way they can.

If I were 14 and some guy raped me, I guarantee that my 17-yr-old brother would pay the b*st*rd a visit to discuss the situation. I guess times have changed.

Do they have statutory rape laws where you live? Your daughter is underage and there could be no argument about that..It's much simpler than forcible rape charges. He belongs in prison, at least.

Above all, love your daughter and never breathe a word of blame toward her. If you believe in God, prayer can also be a big help.

You'll be in my prayers.

Answer 6

If abortion is out of the question, I salute you on that. All you can do know is go to a government agency so that she can get her check ups and vitamins. Love your daughter always. As far as when the baby is born the government gives young mother or any new mother something called Wick, which is help with the baby's food, (milk, cheese, bread...etc). If you are in the United States this help is available to your daughter. Advise her to stay in school also. God will not give you anything that you cannot handle. Have faith that everything will come out OK. God Bless you all.

Answer 7

If your daughter wants to raise the baby, then help her and support her in that. If she doesn't, then help her find some adoptive parents. It might be too hard for her to raise a child that might always remind her of what was essentially a rape. Go to an agency, like Catholic Family Services (no, you don't have to be Caholic), or any family services organization. They have people who have been dealing with cases like this for years and they can offer you information and support. If your daughter chooses to put the baby up for adoption, just be supportive. Help her look over potential parent profiles and help her if she chooses to interview prospective parents. Help her decide if she wants an open or closed adoption. She will have so many feelings and might lash out at you at times, try not to lash back at her. Be prepared in case she asks you to raise her baby, you don't have to say yes to that if you don't think that will be what's best for everyone, but be prepared to tell her why you can or cannot raise her baby. Good Luck to your whole family during this tough time.

Answer 8

First of all be very supportive. Your daughter needs you whether she admits it or not. Pray for her. Pray for the situation. Talk over with your daughter what she wants to do. Is adoption the right choice? Will she keep the child and raise him/her? What ever she decides to do, be supportive the best you can. You are right not to let the father in the childs life. Begin preparing now if she decides to keep the baby. Seek help through churches, neighbors, friends, family. Also take your daughter to a councelor perhaps. Victims of rape need someone to professionally help them through things like this as well. Rape is hard on every member of the family. Stay strong. These situations can and do have silver linings. I will pray for you, your daughter and your family. You can get through this.

Answer 9

Well, Your daughter is going to have to give birth to the baby. I don't think abortion would be a smart choice but she is very young and that is an option. Maybe when the child is born you could give it up for adoption or maybe even you take care of it until she is done with school. That'd be a smart thing to do if you're not willing to give it away.

Answer 10

I'm sorry you have to go through that....who was the bastard that raped her? You should file charges. Are you sure she was forced? She needs to go see a doctor and they will have some options for you. Does your daughter want to raise the baby and love it with all her heart? if she will, she can abort it :( or even give it up for adoption Good luck and try to be supportive of er. She must be super scared right now.