My ex-girlfriend's little sister was ill since birth with a very rare syndrome, and she died yesterday. I was very fond of her, and she liked me a lot as well. She always swore she'd steal me from her older sister and marry me; I suppose I was her first crush. It's very important to me that I pay my respects.
However, I'm not certain her older sister ever wants to see me again, especially at this difficult time in her life, and I'm fairly sure her parents hold a grudge against me as well. It's been a few years since our breakup, though, and I never did anything exactly disrespectful or disrespectable to my ex; I just left her without much of an explanation, which I know she resented.
Please help me decide what to do-- I'd love to be supportive, but I absolutely don't want to cause anyone pain.
2006-08-29 10:45:34 · 23 answers · asked by ? 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You should call your ex and let her decide how to proceed. If she wants nothing to do with you, mourn from a distance.
Either way, she would have to appreciate that you called. You can also send flowers to the funeral, or maybe make a donation to whatever organization fights whatever disorder she passed away from.
2006-08-29 10:51:39 · answer #1 · answered by ratboy 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your losses! I really am, and I hope that you're okay. Personally, I think that your girlfriend sounds mean. The first guy that I ever really loved committed suicide when I was 13, and when this one girl made fun of that, it hurt me... a lot. It's not acceptable for her to be doing those things. It's just plain nasty. And if she cared about you, she would know not to do that. If you really, really, really don't want to leave her, then sit her down and talk to her about how you feel. Exactly how you feel, and don't sugar coat things. If she continues doing it, then leave her. I know you said you didn't want to hear that, but that's not the type of girl you want to be with. There are plenty more girls out in the world, and you deserve a lot better than someone who makes fun of your losses. x
2016-03-27 00:31:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe call her and apologize for how you left things and let her know that you want to pay your respects since you were close to her sister.
That is a very hard decision to make. Hopefully the family will be okay with it and maybe they will see that even though things happened the way that they did with the ex-girlfriend, that you are still a caring person.
2006-08-29 13:23:34 · answer #3 · answered by Friend 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were fond of her, you should go. If things get hairy, leave. The parents and the ex will be appreciative that you cared enough to come and support the family and say good bye despite the bad stuff that happened in the past. Let the past be the past, and pay your respects to your friend.
2006-08-29 11:50:13 · answer #4 · answered by nmtgirl 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I honestly feel that the family isn't going to care about what you did years ago.
The fact is that this little girl had a crush on you and you feel as though you want to go and pay your respects.
It is very thoughtful and I think that you should go. I'm sure that the family could use as much support as possible.
God Bless You and the Family!
2006-08-29 10:53:03 · answer #5 · answered by Heather 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your ex isn't going to resent your showing up. If anything, she's going to like your attitude, and it might somehow compensate for your leaving her for no reason. Besides, if you liked the girl who passed away, you should go even for yourself. You knew her and now she's gone. Never mind you knew her through her sister. So, in short, go to the wake.
BTW, leaving a person without an explanation IS something disrespectful to do. I thought you should know that, before you used that argument with your ex's family.
2006-08-29 10:58:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
By all means GO,...this is a time in peoples lives where certain feelings are set aside.
Especially if the little girl was that fond of you and you of her.
You'll be respected because you never forgot the feelings you had for their special child.
Be proud that you care!!
2006-08-29 10:54:32 · answer #7 · answered by paintressa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Paying you respects is a respectable thing to do.. I think you should go to the visitaion and maybe even send flowers to the family to show that you do care. Not just for the family.. but do it for the deceased girl. She would love if you showed some interest (<--not necessarily the best word).
2006-08-29 11:21:14 · answer #8 · answered by C-Baby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should pay your respects because you liked the little girl it doesn't matter what your ex thinks. Wasn't she your best friend and you would regret not going if you don't you wont be able to get any sleep unless you go pay your respects. I know that you might feel a little uncomfortable but you would feel more uncomfortable if you don't go.
2006-08-29 11:02:06 · answer #9 · answered by Princess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should go and pay your respects. Everyone has to grieve and mourne over the situation. Even you. And I am sure that her family will understand, completely. It won't cause any more pain then there already was.
Maybe even trying to call her and saying that you want to pay your respects. She just might need a shoulder to cry on. Good Luck....
2006-08-29 10:53:13 · answer #10 · answered by luv him 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋