Does the best man have to buy the bride and groom a present for their wedding?

Question

Thanks for the responses so far. To clarify, I'm a grad student on a very limited budget and have already spent over $250 on their wedding (bachelor party and tux rental).

Judging from the responses so far, I now know that the best man is expected to give a present. Therefore, I'm leaning towards telling them ahead of time that I can't buy a present even though I want to. I'm sure they will be understanding.

How does that sound?!

Answer 1

Weddings are a celebration of the couple starting their life together and as such it is traditional for the guests to provide the things they will need to start a household of their own, away from their parents. Today most brides and grooms have lived on their own if not together, but the tradition has not stopped. It has changed a bit in that guests now shop using the couple's bridal registry to see what they need, rather than assuming they need a toaster. Which only leads to duplicate gifts.

I realize that tux rental is already costing you a chunk of dough, but I'll assure you the bridesmaids have it worse in the costs department; they have to buy the dresses, shoes and sometimes hats and gloves. It is traditional for the bride to give a gift to her bridesmaids and the groom to provide a gift to the groomsmen because it is a favor to stand up in a wedding. However, that does not exempt you from getting the couple a gift.

If you're in college or unemployed or some dire circumstances restrict your finances, you might be able to talk to the couple about not being able to afford a gift at this time, but assuring them that you will provide one once more money is at your disposal. Most couples would graciously tell a person not to worry, they just want you at the wedding. But don't just ignore the situation, it won't go away and simply not bringing a gift might be seen as a hostile move and cause more trouble than it's worth.

Weddings can make any bad situation worse, so I'd try to head off trouble early.

Good luck!

Peace.

Answer 2

Actually no & yes,.... The tradition is that your being selected as being the best man (actually the Second Best man - the Best Man is the one getting married). Your gift is your friendship and just being there to support your dear dearest friends on such a monumentous occasion. Any other gift is purely a choice, its optional. Because sometimes the best man can't afford to get something fancy or elaborate. Your gift is you being there for them. Unfortunately, traditions sometimes get lost along the wayside of pop-culture. It isn't unusual for a bride and groom to "hit-up" the best man AND the best woman (snickers - 2nd best woman - lol ), for a really great gift, some couples actually expect them to get a gift to set the standard to compare with everyone else's gifts. Its really bad when the bride and groom are real cheap skates to begin with, by using your friendship to get something they really want, i.e. big screen plasma flat HDTV or an all expenses paid trip to the Carribian or Love Boat Cruise (rolf),... It is traditional that the PARENTS - Especially if the parents are loaded, are the ones who are supposed to get the Standard to Compare Gift. Which is why some couples prefer to have a simple ceremony in lieu of an elaborate one, to spare the attendees the extravagances of buying a great gift or trying to out-do-each-other with a fabulous present. Its a choice, you can just be there as their best best friend, and wait and see if they were just using you to get some kinda fabulous present. Then you will find out exactly what kind of friends they really are.

Answer 3

Actually no & yes,....

The tradition is that your being selected as being the best man (actually the Second Best man - the Best Man is the one getting married). Your gift is your friendship and just being there to support your dear dearest friends on such a monumentous occasion.
Any other gift is purely a choice, its optional. Because sometimes the best man can't afford to get something fancy or elaborate. Your gift is you being there for them.

Unfortunately, traditions sometimes get lost along the wayside of pop-culture. It isn't unusual for a bride and groom to "hit-up" the best man AND the best woman (snickers - 2nd best woman - lol ), for a really great gift, some couples actually expect them to get a gift to set the standard to compare with everyone else's gifts. Its really bad when the bride and groom are real cheap skates to begin with, by using your friendship to get something they really want, i.e. big screen plasma flat HDTV or an all expenses paid trip to the Carribian or Love Boat Cruise (rolf),...

It is traditional that the PARENTS - Especially if the parents are loaded, are the ones who are supposed to get the Standard to Compare Gift.

Which is why some couples prefer to have a simple ceremony
in lieu of an elaborate one, to spare the attendees the extravagances of buying a great gift or trying to out-do-each-other with a fabulous present.

Its a choice, you can just be there as their best best friend, and wait and see if they were just using you to get some kinda fabulous present. Then you will find out exactly what kind of friends they really are.

Answer 4

I strongly suggest you don't buy them a present since you have already spent $250 on the wedding which they should have paid for you. In fact they should give you a gift for agreeing to be their best man......I am serious here. Just give them a card. You are doing the right thing.....believe me.

Answer 5

For sure!
some great gifts..
www.personalcreations.com
www.thingsremembered.com

Have Fun!

Answer 6

You don't HAVE to, but it would make you look bad if you didn't. Why don't you want to buy them a gift?

Answer 7

Yes, & it should be a good one...if they asked you to be their bestman, you must mean a great deal to them.

Answer 8

Yes, just like everyone else.

Answer 9

YEP!.....and because you are the "best man" it had better be the best gift!

Answer 10

of coarse! cripes, ya cheapskate. you are a bad best man!