MUSLIMS PLEASE ANSWER--I am Muslim & My Cousin is Gay?

Question

MUSLIMS PLEASE GIVE SERIOUS ANSWERS.
Salaam,

I am Muslim .... have a male cousin who is Gay. He is 28 years old...We were very, very close growing up, and he has helped me and my mom out alot. When he first told me he was Gay, I told him that I still loved him, and that the Quran says "To you be your way--and to me, mine". I told him that I am Muslim and that we dont accept homosexuality, but that I still loved him.

He got "married" to man last month..He asked me to come to the wedding several times, but I didnt. My whole family went, and they bought him gifts and celebrated...HERE IS THE PROBLEM: He has called me, and I dont answer the phone, because I think he wants to talk about the wedding, and I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. SHOULD I SAY CONGRATULATIONS? WHAT SHOULD I SAY? If I ignore his wedding and the fact that he is "married", his feelings will be hurt...He is a VERY NICE person, and I dont want to be rude.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Answer 1

WOW! what a question. Where do you guys live first of all. Are there homo marriages allowed in public. Your family members went there like your father and mother give gifts to both grooms or both brides. Its hard to imagine that Muslim family went in homo marriage. Just pray day and night for him and for yourself.
Not just in Islam in any religion homo marriages are disputed. For your information tell him the complete story of Prophet Loout(pbuh). If his heart is still alive he will fear Allah. If man can satisfy men or they can produce babies, then why Allah made females.

Answer 2

It sound like you have more of an uncomfortable issue with him being gay rather than religious wise. What you said to him is right - you cannot be his judge only GOD can - yet maybe you should tell him and be honest with him in that you cannot accept it yourself and are uncomfortable with him being gay or rather the lifestyle he has chosen for himself.

You need to ask yourself why you said these things to him - that you love him and that he can live his way - yet you don't want to speak to him, accept his marriage, go to his wedding or accept him being gay! Ask yourself why you ignoring him and why you did not go to the wedding? Only you have this answer and then only can you answer him. I think deep down you feel it's wrong and you can't accept his lifestyle even though you love him and even though he is nice. I think you should analyse your own feeling toward him and toward homosexuality in general before you can address him.

Depending on the answer you find within yourself regarding him - then be honest with him and tell him how you feel - if you can't accept it - tell him. If you uncomfortable around him and his lifestyle - then tell him - if you are this close to him and you can talk to him that openly then do it without hurting him. However, sometimes no matter how close you are to someone, especially family members, you just can't tell the truth - then just tell him it will take time to get used to the whole idea - and gently sever the ties with him or keep your distance from him in the future and eventually he will get the idea - which will of course hurt both you and him - but in this instance it would be inevitable.

Good luck. You have a hard choice to make and I will pray for you.

Answer 3

You say that you were very close to your cousin. That he is a very nice man who helped you and your mom a lot. Why let your prejuidices drive you apart.

A person's sexual preference in no way changes the person they are inside. He's still the same man the same cousin whom you loved when growing up. What a pity you sabotage your friendship of all those years because of your bigotry.

Tell him you love him. Congratulate him. Is'nt the fact that he is happy and in love a good thing?. Would you rather he was miserable and single or miserably married to a woman he did not love.

You sound like you are intelligent woman, so wake up, stop being blinded by your religous prejuidices. He's still the same guy the same person you knew and loved in childhood.

Why lose the love of a good person and his friendship because of your relious prejuidice.?

I am sure that Mohammed never said it was against Muslim religion to love someone. Nor was it ever written in the Koran. Bigotry like this was man made, invented by some controlling little man.
Same as all the harsh medieval laws in Catholicim or Christianisty, all those laws were made by ugly little controlling bigoted men, they were never written in any of the Testaments. Bigots and Bigotry exists in every religon and is not confined to Islam.. Bigotry is everywhere. Just look at the Christian fundamentalist and the warhawks in our current administration. All narrow minded bigots. Why be like them, they think in a realy ugly narrow mnded way. They are ugly little men.

Get over your prejuidice. True love transcends religion, race, age, background. Love is one of last human emotions left to us. It is not purchased, it is not manufactured or the result of some religious creed. Love stems from the heart and soul and emotion.

I hope you will be as lucky as him one day to find true love.

btw You call yourself 'Beautiful Girl' but I doubt you are a girl or beautiful. One the net people assume all kinds of false identities You're thinking is more like that that of an 'Ugly Man'. A red neck with prejuidices.

Answer 4

Judging but what you said it seems like he's a very kind, compassionate person. He probably already realizes that you didnt' show up to the weddings cuz he's gay and it scared you in some way. So just answer the phone and if he brings it up just explain yourself on the issue, and I'm sure he won't get upset.

Answer 5

Call him, talk to him!!! You can still love the person and hate the sin. He knows how you feel --- I have several gay friends and I don't agree with their sexual orientation(I am Christian). But we still get together and go to dinner and outings as couples (my husband and I and he and his partner) and we have a wonderful time! Only God can convict his soul to change --so accept him and love him and his partner.

Answer 6

I'm not Muslim, but perhaps you should leave the judging up to God. He is your cousin, and you obviously seem to care about him. I don't think your religion (DESPITE WHAT PEOPLE SAY) would want you to take it so far as to cut him out of your life because of a choice that he made without any influence from you.

Answer 7

Sorry sister, but homosexuality is strictly forbidden in Islam, in fact the punishment for two men caught in the act is instant death.
You should tell him to repent. Do not cut ties with him, but call him to the right path. However, do not associate with him when he is with his partner and you have to witness the abomination.
One other thing, please do not misuse Qur'anic verses, the verse you are referring to (Suuratul Kaafiroon), is directed at disbelievers, it does not condone sin and give us the go ahead to do what we want, that would not make sense. All the verse is referring to is the fact that we do not force people to believe in Allaah, but neither will we compromise (because disbelievers always want us to compromise) our position, so to you your way and to me mine, Allaah will judge between us.
May Allah have mercy on you and us and guide your cousin and guide us all.

Answer 8

you don't love him, if you really loved him , you would be concerned to rescue him from going to hell in the after life, instead you worry about hurting his feelings by not going to his wedding to a man, for God's sake , this gay is doomed to go to hell in the afterlife, and all you care about is his feelings, rescue him , do anything and everything you can to pull him from that swamp, if you really love him.

Answer 9

The answer is simple: you ignore him as much as possible because to him is the punishment waiting which no one can imagine, I sorry to say that but that's the fact. I pray that he be guided and he get a chance to repent.

Answer 10

girl there is nothing u can do onces he turn gay there is nothing u can do to make him straight again y r u going to be like that he is your cousin i have gay friends myself n i love them to death no matter what n i grew up with them i think u shouldnt ignore him u should accept for who is he