should it be my decition?

Question

my partner and i love each other very much but we have decided to break up because his family doesnt like me and it is causing alot of heart ache.
we both feel very confused about our decition. we have made the decition with our heads and not our hearts. he has told me that he doesnt want to leave me but he doesnt want to loose his family eighther and i understand the horrible situation he is in but i need him to give me a straight answer.
so i suppose im saying i need him to tell me that he loves me enough to back me up no matter what or that he honestly doesnt think our relationship is worth the risk, i need to know eighther way but he cant tell me.
should i make the decition my self. do you think that by him not making a chiose that really he has chosen his family, and cant tell me?
we are still in the same house at the moment until he finds somewhere else to live and it hurts, thats why i need it to be more cut and dry so i can except the situation and move on with my life.

Answer 1

Your partner is in a heartbreaking predicament: his family is forcing him to make a choice no one should have to, between the person he loves and his blood relatives. That's extremely sad. If they really cared about his happiness, your partner's family would try a lot harder to get along with you.

Have you considered remaining a couple but not going with him to family events? That would be unfortunate, but it's a possibility and better than forcing your partner to choose. Lots of couples do that when a spouse and the in-laws just can't get along.

Answer 2

Alot of people are put in this situation. I wasn't liked by my fiances family at all...my family didn't like him but did accept him. But we stayed together regardless. I think that if he truly loves you he will stay with you. Parents aren't there forever, but the love of your life may be. My family totally believes in unconditional love even if they don't approve. His family would have been happy if I fell off the face of the earth. 7 years after we got together, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and for some reason this brought his mother and I very close together. Now look forward 6 more years into the future to now...I am closer to his parents than he or his siblings, and even his parents will agree with that. If he truly loves you he will tell them this and stay with you. Someday they will come around and if not it will be their loss, not his. They gave up on him for a **** and bull reason. If he truly walks away from you then he either doesn't love you as much as you believe or too much of a mama's boy to be mature enough to live in a relationship outside of his parents life. Good luck.

Answer 3

Perhaps if you agree to the split, he will find out what life will be like without you and come running back. Leave it open. Tell him that you see he needs space to make this decision and to contact you, when he's made it. Many times absence makes the heart grow fonder!! He may get the nerve to tell his family that he loves you, you make him happy and they should care about that, not who he's with, but how happy he is.

Answer 4

Ask him if Mom and Dad are going to be around 32 years from now, and who will he be sleeping with. Parents are not around forever, and even if they WANT to still say who is good enough or who isn't, after legal age, it is really none of their business.
Now he if wants to sleep with Mom, yeah there is a problem, if he loves you, then it's time for him to grow up, and make his OWN choice.

Answer 5

I feel very sorry for you and whatever you decide try to keep a postiive outlook.

Answer 6

Should what be your decision? If he's leaving let him go. He has no spine to stand up to his family.

Answer 7

What is a decition?

Answer 8

sorry for you - now learn to use spell checker

Answer 9

good idea